stars are burning bright, like the light that lights your eyes
this morning i woke up, and i was again saddened by the fact that its overcast and rainy. i need sunshine. i need california or something. i need to not let my moods be so greatly effected by the weather for goodness sake.
i had the wierdest dream. one of those dreams where you swear its reality. i had this dream about rusty. he was himself physically, but not emotionally. in the dream he was such a freakin jerk. he had said some things in my dream that made me cry. like hysterically start crying in my dream. i woke up with tears streaming down my face. i swore it happened in real life, i then quickly remembered that i was dreaming, or nightmaring. it was so strange. i felt like i needed to call him and just hear him say i love you. something. but it was like 5 there and i new that he had probably just gotten to sleep. i dont know. it sucked. so thats my morning.
i was sad after this dream thing and the weather, i went over and talked to my mom while she was still in bed. i felt like i was 12 again. she wants to take me and arlie to philly art museum. so we will try to plan that out. her schedule is nuts, i dont ever know when my next day off will be, and lear is at ku full time and works now there. so i dont know when that will happen. me and lear have been planning a trip there since when...high school. so we will see.
the lord is still working on my heart. teaching me his characteristics. ive been reading in the word about his holiness and that his love, and work on calvery, is what magnatizes me to love in response to His first love.
im listening to appleseed cast. making me miss rusty tough. hes been good. enjoying his paid vacation as he calls it down in tenn. its wierd hes only 12 hours away. i contemplated driving down there. im not. all i know is that i miss him extra tough today. please be praying for us. we have a phone date tonight!!!!!!! im excited. hes just such a wonderful person. i love him so much. i just started crying...im such a dork. im done. be blessed! xoxo