Project Mid Me
Day One.
Sick. Woke up sick. Marvelous timing, this. I've been grouchy and miserable all day. Man, do I not do sick well. My thinking gets garbled, I'm a giant, whiny baby. So not a good day to start this. But I did sleep most of it off and feeling nearly back to normal...
It's now Saturday, early evening, and I'm ready to give it another go.
NyQuil = Nirvana
Just spent an hour trying to work out Step One.
Fish Oil. I'm just not a supplement kind of person. Supplement people irritate me. Seem pretentious. And the book is highly specific about the fish oil you take. Omega-3, 1000 mg EPA, 500 mg DHA, distilled. Blah, something. Headache now. Leaving this step behind, will revisit when I'm in a less foul/more agreeable mood.
(Fun fact - Fish oils give you fishy burps.) The labels proudly disclaim they are "burp-less")
Anti Depressant Exercise
This one I can buy into. Exercise, much as I loathe it, does make me feel better on just about every count. Stronger, more confident, clears the cobwebs out of the head. I'm on board.
From the book:
It lowers blood pressure, boost immune functions, greater bone density, reduce risk of diabetes, obesity and heart disease and helps our bodies remain youthful.
That last part has my attention. Youthful, you say? This is not just vanity. My body is holding up fairly well, certainly better than I treat it.
How I treat it:
But I truly do miss my energy and strength from my youth. I can feel myself...aging. Getting tired easily, dragging this old lumpy body around. You know, this has got to be the worst part of depression. Hiding in bed, in a cocoon of comfort and fat, actually sounds hideously desirable. So am I fighting that right now. Exercise vs. Cocooning.
Make it enjoyable.
YeaNo. Not going to happen, moving on...
Make it aerobic, 35 minutes daily.
Well now! That is a GOAL to work towards. 35 minutes. I can manage about 10 minutes before I zone out and have to focus hard on not leaving the gym. 10 minutes max and I'm done. So this goal, 35 minutes, is three times my max. I know this is all about baby steps but this is going to be a terrific challenge, yes.
Create a Routine
Set aside the same blocks of time every week. Habits are hard to break. Identify three openings in your schedule that are guaranteed to be free from week to week.
Okay. Sounds like I'm going to have to do this in the morning. Especially when I factor in the next step Avoid Ending Late. I never know, week to week, if I'll be popular or not. Some weeks I go out three times a week (a social maven!) Other times, I'm a leper. I joined a gym that is 24 hours so I would have this option. Morning it is.
5am.
Oy vey.
Oh, and this! To boost my lagging motivation, I bought this:
I'm ready to start. Tomorrow. I'm going to take some more liquid Nirvana and give it a go. Tomorrow.
Wait, wait, wait, I forgot. I wanted to get Pilates and/or stretching in there too. Just feels good, as close to "enjoyable" as exercise gets for me.
Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday at 8pm.
So...I have my schedule worked out:
Mornings = 5am (MWF), 6am (Saturday), exercise for 35 minutes.
Pilates/stretching = 8pm, Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday nights.
I feel a mixture of intimidation, excitement and motivation.
Let's close on a good note...from the book:
Our bodies are designed for a high level of physical activity. Exercise is extraordinarily important for maintaining physical and mental health. Aerobic exercise is the most potent antidepressant activity ever discovered. I don't think I've ever seen someone leave the gym in a worse mood than when they arrived."
I'm 90/10. 90% wanting to cocoon, 10%...well, not cocoon.
But I do want to feel good. And that doesn't happen accidentally.
At least for me it won't.
Until tomorrow.
ETA:
One of the most happy moments from last year involved exercise. A coworker/friend invited me to a hike. I proudly don't HIKE. Arizona is all about hiking and I love not being cool, one of the herd.
Except when I actually tried it. Saw a beautiful view. Felt accomplished.
Exercise. It can restore you.
You know, this just might work.
Sick. Woke up sick. Marvelous timing, this. I've been grouchy and miserable all day. Man, do I not do sick well. My thinking gets garbled, I'm a giant, whiny baby. So not a good day to start this. But I did sleep most of it off and feeling nearly back to normal...
It's now Saturday, early evening, and I'm ready to give it another go.
NyQuil = Nirvana
Just spent an hour trying to work out Step One.
Fish Oil. I'm just not a supplement kind of person. Supplement people irritate me. Seem pretentious. And the book is highly specific about the fish oil you take. Omega-3, 1000 mg EPA, 500 mg DHA, distilled. Blah, something. Headache now. Leaving this step behind, will revisit when I'm in a less foul/more agreeable mood.
(Fun fact - Fish oils give you fishy burps.) The labels proudly disclaim they are "burp-less")
Anti Depressant Exercise
This one I can buy into. Exercise, much as I loathe it, does make me feel better on just about every count. Stronger, more confident, clears the cobwebs out of the head. I'm on board.
From the book:
It lowers blood pressure, boost immune functions, greater bone density, reduce risk of diabetes, obesity and heart disease and helps our bodies remain youthful.
That last part has my attention. Youthful, you say? This is not just vanity. My body is holding up fairly well, certainly better than I treat it.
How I treat it:
But I truly do miss my energy and strength from my youth. I can feel myself...aging. Getting tired easily, dragging this old lumpy body around. You know, this has got to be the worst part of depression. Hiding in bed, in a cocoon of comfort and fat, actually sounds hideously desirable. So am I fighting that right now. Exercise vs. Cocooning.
Make it enjoyable.
YeaNo. Not going to happen, moving on...
Make it aerobic, 35 minutes daily.
Well now! That is a GOAL to work towards. 35 minutes. I can manage about 10 minutes before I zone out and have to focus hard on not leaving the gym. 10 minutes max and I'm done. So this goal, 35 minutes, is three times my max. I know this is all about baby steps but this is going to be a terrific challenge, yes.
Create a Routine
Set aside the same blocks of time every week. Habits are hard to break. Identify three openings in your schedule that are guaranteed to be free from week to week.
Okay. Sounds like I'm going to have to do this in the morning. Especially when I factor in the next step Avoid Ending Late. I never know, week to week, if I'll be popular or not. Some weeks I go out three times a week (a social maven!) Other times, I'm a leper. I joined a gym that is 24 hours so I would have this option. Morning it is.
5am.
Oy vey.
Oh, and this! To boost my lagging motivation, I bought this:
I'm ready to start. Tomorrow. I'm going to take some more liquid Nirvana and give it a go. Tomorrow.
Wait, wait, wait, I forgot. I wanted to get Pilates and/or stretching in there too. Just feels good, as close to "enjoyable" as exercise gets for me.
Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday at 8pm.
So...I have my schedule worked out:
Mornings = 5am (MWF), 6am (Saturday), exercise for 35 minutes.
Pilates/stretching = 8pm, Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday nights.
I feel a mixture of intimidation, excitement and motivation.
Let's close on a good note...from the book:
Our bodies are designed for a high level of physical activity. Exercise is extraordinarily important for maintaining physical and mental health. Aerobic exercise is the most potent antidepressant activity ever discovered. I don't think I've ever seen someone leave the gym in a worse mood than when they arrived."
I'm 90/10. 90% wanting to cocoon, 10%...well, not cocoon.
But I do want to feel good. And that doesn't happen accidentally.
At least for me it won't.
Until tomorrow.
ETA:
One of the most happy moments from last year involved exercise. A coworker/friend invited me to a hike. I proudly don't HIKE. Arizona is all about hiking and I love not being cool, one of the herd.
Except when I actually tried it. Saw a beautiful view. Felt accomplished.
Exercise. It can restore you.
You know, this just might work.