Women, women, women
What makes a woman hot?
Hot chick:
Big boobs, small waist, youthful glow.
Probably something along those lines, yes?
In the last few months, I have run across (freaking bombarded) by articles written from women in their 40's (sometimes older) bemoaning their lack of hotness. (AKA, New York Times.)
Stephanie Dolgoff feels all women of a certain age, like herself, are former hotties. She has given them a helpful label....The Formerlies. Former hotties.
This is her. Please don't think of her as attractive. She doesn't nor should you.
Exerpt:
You no longer are ogled by strange men on the street...Ms. Dolgoff recalls a morning commute in which an attractive man asked her the time. “Eight-forty,” she replied tersely. And then, nothing. No longer the sexy young thing who had to adopt “a slightly defensive posture when men asked her superficially innocent questions on public transportation. I was no longer ‘all that,’ perhaps no longer even a little of ‘that,’ whatever ‘that’ is.”
Okay. I got some Big, Huge Opinions on
Here's the thing.
I'm a woman that fits right in this formerly category.
Do things change when you turn 40?
Thank God, yes, they do.
I never was a hottie and am not one now. I'm goofy. If I was a dwarf, I would be dopey. Well, or maybe sneezy during the allergy season.
Yet, inexplicably, I don't feel invisible. Either I'm delusional* or men flirt with me on a semi-regular basis. Curious.
So how could my experience be so different from all these other washed up has-been's.
Attitude?
Self perception?
I think the article is revealing...when an attractive man asked her the time she replied "tersely". Maybe he ended the conversation because terseness isn't very flirty fun. But, her interpretation, is that it is further proof of her former hotness. He asked the time, she gave a terse reply, then BOOM. Nothing! Men are so crazy and hard to understand!
Interesting how we create our own reality, isn't it.
I do understand the point she is making. Things DO change, they do.
Like?
The quality.
It's all about the quality of those who flirt/recognize/oogle/want you.
When I was younger, it was this:
And, yes, it's true. I am invisible to them now.
And this is where the THANK GOD comes in.
The men who do flirt are just better now. Maybe older, maybe younger, maybe a different nationality, maybe a different race. But, almost without fail, they are better, so very much so.
I can't explain why they sometimes fail to ignore me.
My guess is maybe they like a woman who doesn't think of herself as expired goods.
Besides, their opinion is moot. I still feel sensual and desirable and probably will until I'm 90 years old (can't say what 91 will be like, though. 91 = still a huge mystery).
Here's the bottomline:
Nothing is sexier than self-acceptance.
The men aren't nearly as numerous but they are better quality.
A woman who thinks she has become invisible might ask herself what kind of attention she is desiring.
A big rethink is in order, lovely girlfriends.
By YOU not by them.
(Asterick - Maybe I am just totally delusional. A sad, silly little joke. That's entirely possible, if not likely. Fine. Delusion is fun. Let's embrace delusion then. I'm going to put my lips on and go dance for awhile. XOXOXO)
Hot chick:
Big boobs, small waist, youthful glow.
Probably something along those lines, yes?
In the last few months, I have run across (freaking bombarded) by articles written from women in their 40's (sometimes older) bemoaning their lack of hotness. (AKA, New York Times.)
Stephanie Dolgoff feels all women of a certain age, like herself, are former hotties. She has given them a helpful label....The Formerlies. Former hotties.
This is her. Please don't think of her as attractive. She doesn't nor should you.
Exerpt:
You no longer are ogled by strange men on the street...Ms. Dolgoff recalls a morning commute in which an attractive man asked her the time. “Eight-forty,” she replied tersely. And then, nothing. No longer the sexy young thing who had to adopt “a slightly defensive posture when men asked her superficially innocent questions on public transportation. I was no longer ‘all that,’ perhaps no longer even a little of ‘that,’ whatever ‘that’ is.”
Okay. I got some Big, Huge Opinions on
Here's the thing.
I'm a woman that fits right in this formerly category.
Do things change when you turn 40?
Thank God, yes, they do.
I never was a hottie and am not one now. I'm goofy. If I was a dwarf, I would be dopey. Well, or maybe sneezy during the allergy season.
Yet, inexplicably, I don't feel invisible. Either I'm delusional* or men flirt with me on a semi-regular basis. Curious.
So how could my experience be so different from all these other washed up has-been's.
Attitude?
Self perception?
I think the article is revealing...when an attractive man asked her the time she replied "tersely". Maybe he ended the conversation because terseness isn't very flirty fun. But, her interpretation, is that it is further proof of her former hotness. He asked the time, she gave a terse reply, then BOOM. Nothing! Men are so crazy and hard to understand!
Interesting how we create our own reality, isn't it.
I do understand the point she is making. Things DO change, they do.
Like?
The quality.
It's all about the quality of those who flirt/recognize/oogle/want you.
When I was younger, it was this:
And, yes, it's true. I am invisible to them now.
And this is where the THANK GOD comes in.
The men who do flirt are just better now. Maybe older, maybe younger, maybe a different nationality, maybe a different race. But, almost without fail, they are better, so very much so.
I can't explain why they sometimes fail to ignore me.
My guess is maybe they like a woman who doesn't think of herself as expired goods.
Besides, their opinion is moot. I still feel sensual and desirable and probably will until I'm 90 years old (can't say what 91 will be like, though. 91 = still a huge mystery).
Here's the bottomline:
Nothing is sexier than self-acceptance.
The men aren't nearly as numerous but they are better quality.
A woman who thinks she has become invisible might ask herself what kind of attention she is desiring.
A big rethink is in order, lovely girlfriends.
By YOU not by them.
(Asterick - Maybe I am just totally delusional. A sad, silly little joke. That's entirely possible, if not likely. Fine. Delusion is fun. Let's embrace delusion then. I'm going to put my lips on and go dance for awhile. XOXOXO)