Anniversary part 2
Today...or tonight was mine and Brian's 4 month anniversary.
We didn't have anything planned and had only really mentioned that we'd like to spend some time together doing anything. Nothing was confirmed.
During the day, quite soon after we had woken up, Brian went into Coventry with a bunch of people to eat McDonalds. He came back with the 1st Spocks Beard album, which had awesome, unusually big packaging i might add. I went to Cannon Park for a bit of shopping. Got some toiletries and 'cherry' pyjamas i saw in New Look. I don't usually get clothing from there, but i happenned to like these summery looking pyjamas. I was getting bored of my 'winnie the pooh' ones...hehehe.
We spend the afternoon drifting between listening to music, trying to study/revise and schnuggle. When I see him sprawl out over my bed, i can't help but want to cuddle,kiss him and tell him how much i love him.
Brian went to Judo at around 6pm and wasn't back until almost 8pm. Meanwhile, i carried on with reading and went to decide what to have for dinner, only to be persuaded by Gio to join them for a chinese takeout. He mentioned Brian would be eating too, so i figured why not. Rose was going to see Bill Bailey's Comedy Stand Up at the Arts centre and wouldn't be back until 10pm, so that meant we weren't really going to order and eat till fairly late.
I played some Frisbee which was quite fun -along with Gio, Jane, Nakul, Tom and Andy. Never have i attempted to dive on grass so often before...I have the grass stains to proove it! It was kind of fun just to hang out and play around after being indoors for most the day. The weather these past two days has been beautiful too, so i want to make the most of it.
When it came to ordering the chinese takeaway, Brian and I weren't really in the mood-but i didn't feel like cooking anything now and I thought once it arrives, i'll be in the mood and it will be fun eating with a group of friends so i agreed to order. Brian decided he'll eat what he has in the fridge. I noticed he was feeling down, but I put it down to tiredness after Judo. We watched 'That 70's show' and 'Malcolm in the Middle' for an hour, then i left him to shower. While Brian was having his dinner, our Chinese food arrived and i guess in the excitement of it all...and with us being v.hungry, i left Brian alone. I thought he might come out in the common room later as we eat. When he goes quite and sort of melancholy, i don't know how to talk to him or approach him.
As we were eating, I began to wonder if I had done anything to upset him. I would hate to have done something and make our anniversary miserable. When we were speculating over ordering chinese, he suggested we go to Leamington tommorrow and eat at the buffet restaurant. Seeing as I was just about to eat Chinese and had a trcukload of revision to carry on with i suggested we wait until friday or the weekend. He sort of agreed and come to think of it, he seemed glum i said No.
After the meal, I went to his room to see if he had cheered up. I had asked several times or given some ideas about how we could spend the evening but i never got any feedback.. I guess because we never do anything unusually special on our anniversaries, i wasn't under the impression that this one might be different. Perhaps Brian had different intentions. I just wish that if he wanted to do something or had any possible plans in mind, he would let me know so we can work out something to do together. I was more than happy to go out, but besides taking a bus into Leam or Cov, the student union was our only option. I was going to suggest we eat at Xananas, but we had done that a few days ago and well...we both found it pricey too.
Part Two (21/05/04):
When I began the above journal entry, I didn’t get round to completing it. I am glad I was interrupted because I could re-think what I was typing and whether it was fair to make some of those assumptions. I realised I was over reacting a little and was dwelling into something that did not need to be tampered with. I’ll continue:
Brian came into my room and we sat and schnuggled for a bit. He told me he had been for a walk….alone, which was unlike him to do. I figured he needed some space to get rid of this mood he didn’t like being in. I joked about it being like a PMS type thing. We planned to watch a film but after lying down and chatting on my bed, we realised we were tired and so we had an early night. I questioned whether he felt more comfortable sleeping separately tonight and with that cute innocent face, but he said no. I sort of wanted to cuddle him too because there was something unusually timid about him, which made he appear as if he needed a big hug.
I noticed Brian wasn’t his usual self. He seemed a little distant and I guess you could say he was cold. I know he did not mean to be like that, so I didn’t push it and we both just turned over and went to sleep, minus the schnuggling It was a fairly warm night so the duvet was kicked off and I was tossing and turning because I couldn’t get comfortable or even to sleep.
Suddenly I noticed Brian had sat up. I got up too in concern and asked if he was okay. He said he wanted to sleep on the floor. I wasn’t sure how to react because this was Seriously unlike him. My immediate response was to try and convince him not to, but he claimed he wanted to and I assumed he just wanted some more space to sleep. It can get reasonably squashy with the both of us in one single bed, but I thought we had gotten used to it. So he took the Warwick fleece duvet, a few of my grey cushions and crashed on the floor and went straight back to sleep, no questions asked.
I got quite frustrated. It was a mixture of receiving no explanation and having to deal with this random mood swing. I went back to bed and as expected I couldn’t sleep. I sort of kept worrying about something I might have done to offend him, especially on our anniversary.
I got out of bed, left my room and wandered about the corridors in hope of people being awake in my kitchen or Brian’s. I saw Gio and Jack drifting about near Jane’s room and Gio asked me to join them. At first I hesitated because well…I was in my dressing gown, feeling kind of silly and somewhat lost. As I walked down the corridor, Brian suddenly appeared and looked sort of pissed off. I followed him into his room and it looked as though he was going to sleep in his bed tonight. He said we’d talk in the morning. Again, just to prevent making things more awkward. I just agreed and left. I tried not to think anything of it. The last thing I wanted was a replay of what happened that night I got drunk out my head with Rob and Kate after Top B. We didn’t speak for a few days and it was hell. We still hate talking about it.
Anyways, Gio, Jack, Jane and I sat and chatted for a bit in Jane’s room. We looked at pictures on her laptop and I saw a few cute ones of Brian and I at Julia’s birthday. I hadn’t really seen those properly and they made me smile. I found myself thinking about him and wanted to go back to him and sleep/schnuggle. Then I remembered it wasn’t that easy…at least at that time. Gio noticed I was quiet and asked if I was ok. I wasn’t feeling that great, but I said I was fine just to keep things quiet. I more or less did the same when he asked about Brian. He and Jane said he looked down earlier and went for walk, like he told me. I just said he wasn’t feeling his usual self…, which I guess, is true to some extent.
After a while, Gio left to go to the bathroom and Jack went into Rob’s room and well…it was only Jane and me left in the room. It suddenly dawned on me that it was almost 3am and I had tons of revision to do, so I really should go to bed, even if that meant sleeping alone. As I was about to leave, Gio returned and said Brian was asking for me. I sort of jumped in glee and made a move towards Brian’s room hoping this meant we might sort things out. As I entered Brian’s room, he immediately apologised for acting how he did and all of a sudden I couldn’t feel angry with him At that moment, I couldn’t give a toss about how he may have acted or what I was thinking because it felt so good and hug and kiss him again, knowing that everything would be okay. I am not going to think about this ever again for as long as I can help it.
We kissed…quite literally for quite some time after returning to my room and going to sleep. This sounds somewhat out of place, but we felt horny getting back into bed together. I’m not complaining though!…. so to end on a high, things all good now and that’s how they are going to remain.
We didn't have anything planned and had only really mentioned that we'd like to spend some time together doing anything. Nothing was confirmed.
During the day, quite soon after we had woken up, Brian went into Coventry with a bunch of people to eat McDonalds. He came back with the 1st Spocks Beard album, which had awesome, unusually big packaging i might add. I went to Cannon Park for a bit of shopping. Got some toiletries and 'cherry' pyjamas i saw in New Look. I don't usually get clothing from there, but i happenned to like these summery looking pyjamas. I was getting bored of my 'winnie the pooh' ones...hehehe.
We spend the afternoon drifting between listening to music, trying to study/revise and schnuggle. When I see him sprawl out over my bed, i can't help but want to cuddle,kiss him and tell him how much i love him.
Brian went to Judo at around 6pm and wasn't back until almost 8pm. Meanwhile, i carried on with reading and went to decide what to have for dinner, only to be persuaded by Gio to join them for a chinese takeout. He mentioned Brian would be eating too, so i figured why not. Rose was going to see Bill Bailey's Comedy Stand Up at the Arts centre and wouldn't be back until 10pm, so that meant we weren't really going to order and eat till fairly late.
I played some Frisbee which was quite fun -along with Gio, Jane, Nakul, Tom and Andy. Never have i attempted to dive on grass so often before...I have the grass stains to proove it! It was kind of fun just to hang out and play around after being indoors for most the day. The weather these past two days has been beautiful too, so i want to make the most of it.
When it came to ordering the chinese takeaway, Brian and I weren't really in the mood-but i didn't feel like cooking anything now and I thought once it arrives, i'll be in the mood and it will be fun eating with a group of friends so i agreed to order. Brian decided he'll eat what he has in the fridge. I noticed he was feeling down, but I put it down to tiredness after Judo. We watched 'That 70's show' and 'Malcolm in the Middle' for an hour, then i left him to shower. While Brian was having his dinner, our Chinese food arrived and i guess in the excitement of it all...and with us being v.hungry, i left Brian alone. I thought he might come out in the common room later as we eat. When he goes quite and sort of melancholy, i don't know how to talk to him or approach him.
As we were eating, I began to wonder if I had done anything to upset him. I would hate to have done something and make our anniversary miserable. When we were speculating over ordering chinese, he suggested we go to Leamington tommorrow and eat at the buffet restaurant. Seeing as I was just about to eat Chinese and had a trcukload of revision to carry on with i suggested we wait until friday or the weekend. He sort of agreed and come to think of it, he seemed glum i said No.
After the meal, I went to his room to see if he had cheered up. I had asked several times or given some ideas about how we could spend the evening but i never got any feedback.. I guess because we never do anything unusually special on our anniversaries, i wasn't under the impression that this one might be different. Perhaps Brian had different intentions. I just wish that if he wanted to do something or had any possible plans in mind, he would let me know so we can work out something to do together. I was more than happy to go out, but besides taking a bus into Leam or Cov, the student union was our only option. I was going to suggest we eat at Xananas, but we had done that a few days ago and well...we both found it pricey too.
Part Two (21/05/04):
When I began the above journal entry, I didn’t get round to completing it. I am glad I was interrupted because I could re-think what I was typing and whether it was fair to make some of those assumptions. I realised I was over reacting a little and was dwelling into something that did not need to be tampered with. I’ll continue:
Brian came into my room and we sat and schnuggled for a bit. He told me he had been for a walk….alone, which was unlike him to do. I figured he needed some space to get rid of this mood he didn’t like being in. I joked about it being like a PMS type thing. We planned to watch a film but after lying down and chatting on my bed, we realised we were tired and so we had an early night. I questioned whether he felt more comfortable sleeping separately tonight and with that cute innocent face, but he said no. I sort of wanted to cuddle him too because there was something unusually timid about him, which made he appear as if he needed a big hug.
I noticed Brian wasn’t his usual self. He seemed a little distant and I guess you could say he was cold. I know he did not mean to be like that, so I didn’t push it and we both just turned over and went to sleep, minus the schnuggling It was a fairly warm night so the duvet was kicked off and I was tossing and turning because I couldn’t get comfortable or even to sleep.
Suddenly I noticed Brian had sat up. I got up too in concern and asked if he was okay. He said he wanted to sleep on the floor. I wasn’t sure how to react because this was Seriously unlike him. My immediate response was to try and convince him not to, but he claimed he wanted to and I assumed he just wanted some more space to sleep. It can get reasonably squashy with the both of us in one single bed, but I thought we had gotten used to it. So he took the Warwick fleece duvet, a few of my grey cushions and crashed on the floor and went straight back to sleep, no questions asked.
I got quite frustrated. It was a mixture of receiving no explanation and having to deal with this random mood swing. I went back to bed and as expected I couldn’t sleep. I sort of kept worrying about something I might have done to offend him, especially on our anniversary.
I got out of bed, left my room and wandered about the corridors in hope of people being awake in my kitchen or Brian’s. I saw Gio and Jack drifting about near Jane’s room and Gio asked me to join them. At first I hesitated because well…I was in my dressing gown, feeling kind of silly and somewhat lost. As I walked down the corridor, Brian suddenly appeared and looked sort of pissed off. I followed him into his room and it looked as though he was going to sleep in his bed tonight. He said we’d talk in the morning. Again, just to prevent making things more awkward. I just agreed and left. I tried not to think anything of it. The last thing I wanted was a replay of what happened that night I got drunk out my head with Rob and Kate after Top B. We didn’t speak for a few days and it was hell. We still hate talking about it.
Anyways, Gio, Jack, Jane and I sat and chatted for a bit in Jane’s room. We looked at pictures on her laptop and I saw a few cute ones of Brian and I at Julia’s birthday. I hadn’t really seen those properly and they made me smile. I found myself thinking about him and wanted to go back to him and sleep/schnuggle. Then I remembered it wasn’t that easy…at least at that time. Gio noticed I was quiet and asked if I was ok. I wasn’t feeling that great, but I said I was fine just to keep things quiet. I more or less did the same when he asked about Brian. He and Jane said he looked down earlier and went for walk, like he told me. I just said he wasn’t feeling his usual self…, which I guess, is true to some extent.
After a while, Gio left to go to the bathroom and Jack went into Rob’s room and well…it was only Jane and me left in the room. It suddenly dawned on me that it was almost 3am and I had tons of revision to do, so I really should go to bed, even if that meant sleeping alone. As I was about to leave, Gio returned and said Brian was asking for me. I sort of jumped in glee and made a move towards Brian’s room hoping this meant we might sort things out. As I entered Brian’s room, he immediately apologised for acting how he did and all of a sudden I couldn’t feel angry with him At that moment, I couldn’t give a toss about how he may have acted or what I was thinking because it felt so good and hug and kiss him again, knowing that everything would be okay. I am not going to think about this ever again for as long as I can help it.
We kissed…quite literally for quite some time after returning to my room and going to sleep. This sounds somewhat out of place, but we felt horny getting back into bed together. I’m not complaining though!…. so to end on a high, things all good now and that’s how they are going to remain.