pissed off
I'm so annoyed at getting a shitty 55% for my French National cinema essay. It was worth 20% so it could've been worse, but im still dissapointed. I worked hard on it and I don't feel the criticism given by Ginette is justified. Maybe Im being a whiney twat..or hung up with other things on my mind...so im like extra annoyed. None the less I need a Rant.
I am currently in the 2nd year of my Film and Literature degree at Warwick University. Warwick as we already know, is one of the best universities in the UK and the Film Department is ranked as number one, which to some extent will be useful in applications for future job prospects. Before coming to university, I thought I knew what I wanted to do in terms of my career. I wanted to write critically or be onvolved in media writing at some level.
Now that I am in my 2nd year, I don't quite feel as confident anymore. It is said that when you are at school you have a learning criteria that you work against, whereas at University you are freer to find your method of study and eventually develop your skills. I don't agree with this. I find at University, there is strictly a firm criterion over what is considered to be good or bad/right or wrong that I fear to even attempt to be critically autonomous anymore. I feel as though we are not really allowed to develop and understand what is being taught, and instead we are encouraged to digest it all as it stands and cater/limit our writing and opinions to that of what has already been said and agreed by the scholars (i.e.) all my tutors and more.
I always thought that by completing wider reading, we are being made more aware of different approaches to a subject, increasing our understanding of it. We then apply the reading to support arguments we make in our essays…or so it seems. Sometimes it feels as though it is the other way around, whereby we let the critics lead the way because frankly they cannot be wrong regardless. Essentially, we are adapting our thoughts and opinions to fit that of the academia (in hoping we have covered all aspects of what they believed to be the answer because never mind what we might reflect), and then shoving it all into every essay we submit in an attempt to get the best grades.
It eventually becomes a question of probability - you never know what could come of it. Have I sided with one critic more than the other? What if the other critic was supposed to be one the lecturer agreed with? Ultimately, the need to avoid your own judgment in favour of others (just to satisfy who will grade your essay) puts at risk whether or not you have either answered the question and to your best ability. It may only be me, but whenever I have articulated an independent analysis or trail of thought, it is never taken with much credit or appreciation. I thought it was just me and that I am going wrong somewhere, but it is in fact something many students are discovering to have in common. As a result, when our essays are being graded, we are continuously being marked down for what has not been said, rather than being awarded for what has been independently observed and articulated alternatively. I don’t mean to say we always disagree or challenge the academics; there is simply little room to approach the subject or text from new angles without being scrutinised no matter how passionately you feel about the argument.
Fucking pissed off. I gotta work anyhow. If I can't get decent grades in essays anymore I might just flunk these exams.
-Mia Out-
I am currently in the 2nd year of my Film and Literature degree at Warwick University. Warwick as we already know, is one of the best universities in the UK and the Film Department is ranked as number one, which to some extent will be useful in applications for future job prospects. Before coming to university, I thought I knew what I wanted to do in terms of my career. I wanted to write critically or be onvolved in media writing at some level.
Now that I am in my 2nd year, I don't quite feel as confident anymore. It is said that when you are at school you have a learning criteria that you work against, whereas at University you are freer to find your method of study and eventually develop your skills. I don't agree with this. I find at University, there is strictly a firm criterion over what is considered to be good or bad/right or wrong that I fear to even attempt to be critically autonomous anymore. I feel as though we are not really allowed to develop and understand what is being taught, and instead we are encouraged to digest it all as it stands and cater/limit our writing and opinions to that of what has already been said and agreed by the scholars (i.e.) all my tutors and more.
I always thought that by completing wider reading, we are being made more aware of different approaches to a subject, increasing our understanding of it. We then apply the reading to support arguments we make in our essays…or so it seems. Sometimes it feels as though it is the other way around, whereby we let the critics lead the way because frankly they cannot be wrong regardless. Essentially, we are adapting our thoughts and opinions to fit that of the academia (in hoping we have covered all aspects of what they believed to be the answer because never mind what we might reflect), and then shoving it all into every essay we submit in an attempt to get the best grades.
It eventually becomes a question of probability - you never know what could come of it. Have I sided with one critic more than the other? What if the other critic was supposed to be one the lecturer agreed with? Ultimately, the need to avoid your own judgment in favour of others (just to satisfy who will grade your essay) puts at risk whether or not you have either answered the question and to your best ability. It may only be me, but whenever I have articulated an independent analysis or trail of thought, it is never taken with much credit or appreciation. I thought it was just me and that I am going wrong somewhere, but it is in fact something many students are discovering to have in common. As a result, when our essays are being graded, we are continuously being marked down for what has not been said, rather than being awarded for what has been independently observed and articulated alternatively. I don’t mean to say we always disagree or challenge the academics; there is simply little room to approach the subject or text from new angles without being scrutinised no matter how passionately you feel about the argument.
Fucking pissed off. I gotta work anyhow. If I can't get decent grades in essays anymore I might just flunk these exams.
-Mia Out-