miscellaneous...<-i think i spelt it wrong....oops!
This feels weird because i haven't updated my online journal for over a week now. Come to think of it, i haven't even updated my written journal for some time either. I think im getting lazier by the minute. Not only do i leave my essays literally until the night before-something i was very afraid of doing during a-levels, im also putting off my revision. It feels as though i haven't done any work for a long time and my brain isn't ready to go back into serious study mode. Plus spending time chatting on msn, downloading music off kazaa and schnuggling with Brian is more fun. There...i said it.
So whats been happenning in my sick, sad little world of a life?...i apologise for sounding stupidly angsty.Its the only way i can enjoy typing these online journals-plus they are more amusing to read when u go return to previous entries.....
Things are going amazingly with Brian. In the words of Brandon Boylover(will explain the 'lover' part later..): 'I came here expecting next to nothing, so thankyou for being that kind of girl..'<-i would obviously swap the girl part for guy, in relation to brian and myself, but u know what i mean. Im just so overwhelmed with how happy i am with him and how unbelievably lucky i feel to be with him and know that he's mine and well...im his. I feel its all fallen into my lap effortlessly. Things have happenned at a pace i can handle and everything i thought would be difficult or uncomfortable for me has been the complete opposite and just really, really great instead. Falling in love was something that hadn't even occured to me before coming to university and was something i would never have seen myself doing in a million years...well at least until i was ready for marriage or something. I guess i didn't know myself as well as i thought i did.
Earlier today i teased Brian about getting a tattoo. I know he hates tattoos with a passion and well i kept implying that i was seriously considering getting one over the summer holidays. His face dropped droopier than droopy-that cute cartoon dog (wtf?!?!). He really didn't want me getting a tattoo and practically had a 'if u get a tattoo, i will dump you' look in his eye. It disturbed me a little how offended he was. At the same time i was having difficulty understanding why it was such a big deal and how it would change our relationship. Come to think of it, we have several differences in opinion over quite a few things....-tattoos, alcohol, music, poetry to name but few. Even things as trivial as cute celebs (hence boylover...-i think brandon is hot, brian thinks hes gay..lol). Equally, i can't see how Kiefer Sutherland is in any way an attractive human being. He looks old and crusty wolf-like to me.
Im beginning to wonder how we ended up with eachother...hehehe.. I guess we discovered other common qualities we shared between ourselves and perhaps they are more important.They include trust, companionship, honesty and well..love. Im still a very happy person and love Brian so much that i can't stop telling him-in addition to eating his face whenever we are cuddling and tickling him. Awwww! he's so adorable when he squeels with laughter-oh and when he's tired on my bed and curls up like a baby in my arms and holds my hand against his chest. Pure Bliss...;)
What really ruins the whole picture for me is well...my folks. Why can't i tell them!?!?! I know...very well from the previous revelation over easte that they won't accept Brian and the idea of me just generally having a boyfriend.Grrr! It makes me so mad. I want to be open and honest and as truthful as i can with my parents.I respect them so much and everything they have ever done for me. Without them i wouldn't be where iam today and who iam today and i am extremely grateful to them for that. At the same time, i deserve to be myself and do things i want to do too. I can't live by their 'preferences' all my life and well...they will have to get used to it. Meanwhile i will have to figure out how to tell them...-again (aargh!) or wait and see how things go with Brian. Is our relationship worth keeping to the extent that i will have to continue lying to my parents...or will i feel differently next year? Like ive said im taking each day as it comes. Christina Aguilera's 'Beautiful' happens to be playing on my Winamp...'we are beautiful, no matter what they say, words can bring us down..Nooowoahaowah....'-okie thats enough of that...
Im on the phone to my mum now...she thinks i don't eat enough fruit and sleep too late (which is true)...but just to stop her from worrying herself silly, i have to reassure her that i will make the effort to eat more fruit and go to bed earlier. Somehow i can't see myself keeping my word...eeeeek. Now im just typing a bunch of jibberish because iam actually pretty tired...and my belly hurts from eating too much pasta *blobber globber*...
before i start typing serious crap i will sign off.
....bye.
So whats been happenning in my sick, sad little world of a life?...i apologise for sounding stupidly angsty.Its the only way i can enjoy typing these online journals-plus they are more amusing to read when u go return to previous entries.....
Things are going amazingly with Brian. In the words of Brandon Boylover(will explain the 'lover' part later..): 'I came here expecting next to nothing, so thankyou for being that kind of girl..'<-i would obviously swap the girl part for guy, in relation to brian and myself, but u know what i mean. Im just so overwhelmed with how happy i am with him and how unbelievably lucky i feel to be with him and know that he's mine and well...im his. I feel its all fallen into my lap effortlessly. Things have happenned at a pace i can handle and everything i thought would be difficult or uncomfortable for me has been the complete opposite and just really, really great instead. Falling in love was something that hadn't even occured to me before coming to university and was something i would never have seen myself doing in a million years...well at least until i was ready for marriage or something. I guess i didn't know myself as well as i thought i did.
Earlier today i teased Brian about getting a tattoo. I know he hates tattoos with a passion and well i kept implying that i was seriously considering getting one over the summer holidays. His face dropped droopier than droopy-that cute cartoon dog (wtf?!?!). He really didn't want me getting a tattoo and practically had a 'if u get a tattoo, i will dump you' look in his eye. It disturbed me a little how offended he was. At the same time i was having difficulty understanding why it was such a big deal and how it would change our relationship. Come to think of it, we have several differences in opinion over quite a few things....-tattoos, alcohol, music, poetry to name but few. Even things as trivial as cute celebs (hence boylover...-i think brandon is hot, brian thinks hes gay..lol). Equally, i can't see how Kiefer Sutherland is in any way an attractive human being. He looks old and crusty wolf-like to me.
Im beginning to wonder how we ended up with eachother...hehehe.. I guess we discovered other common qualities we shared between ourselves and perhaps they are more important.They include trust, companionship, honesty and well..love. Im still a very happy person and love Brian so much that i can't stop telling him-in addition to eating his face whenever we are cuddling and tickling him. Awwww! he's so adorable when he squeels with laughter-oh and when he's tired on my bed and curls up like a baby in my arms and holds my hand against his chest. Pure Bliss...;)
What really ruins the whole picture for me is well...my folks. Why can't i tell them!?!?! I know...very well from the previous revelation over easte that they won't accept Brian and the idea of me just generally having a boyfriend.Grrr! It makes me so mad. I want to be open and honest and as truthful as i can with my parents.I respect them so much and everything they have ever done for me. Without them i wouldn't be where iam today and who iam today and i am extremely grateful to them for that. At the same time, i deserve to be myself and do things i want to do too. I can't live by their 'preferences' all my life and well...they will have to get used to it. Meanwhile i will have to figure out how to tell them...-again (aargh!) or wait and see how things go with Brian. Is our relationship worth keeping to the extent that i will have to continue lying to my parents...or will i feel differently next year? Like ive said im taking each day as it comes. Christina Aguilera's 'Beautiful' happens to be playing on my Winamp...'we are beautiful, no matter what they say, words can bring us down..Nooowoahaowah....'-okie thats enough of that...
Im on the phone to my mum now...she thinks i don't eat enough fruit and sleep too late (which is true)...but just to stop her from worrying herself silly, i have to reassure her that i will make the effort to eat more fruit and go to bed earlier. Somehow i can't see myself keeping my word...eeeeek. Now im just typing a bunch of jibberish because iam actually pretty tired...and my belly hurts from eating too much pasta *blobber globber*...
before i start typing serious crap i will sign off.
....bye.