(Untitled)

[mia2ana]

fuck whats wrong with me. i hate this and i hate life. i dont know what to do. i just broke down in the bathroom crying... i dont think i have ever cried so hard in my life. it wasnt crying. it was more like, violent shaking, with tears running down my cheeks. i cant stop this. i am in way to far

Comments

[just_sullen]

When do you come home?

And what would happen if you went to the Doctor or whoever there? Is there a way you could get around the fact that you are actually bulimic? Could you say that you have been really sick and can't keep anything down? Blame it on acid reflux?

If there is no way for you to get help medically right now, i will do whatever i can. I've just started the 'recovery' thing, so i've got a bunch of handouts from the nutritionist. I'd be happy to scan them and email them to you. Let me know what i can do, no matter how small or how big a task, i am only too happy and willing to help.

[just_sullen]

thank you so much. i am just worried, and more so. i am in denial i guess, that anything really bad can happen to me. if that makes sense. anything you can send me, i would love it. i cant really find too much out about it

what is recovery like?? if you dont mind sharing. like, what are they doing to help you recover

[mia2ana]

umm,... that was me, oops

[just_sullen]

I've scanned in some of the materials i have from the program. Do you want me to email them to you? I would just put it on my lj but i can't figure out how to do that. Damn i am so intelligent.
A lot of it pertains to a vegetarian diet, but obviously it's easy enough to figure out where meat, eggs, and milk products would fit in.

[just_sullen]

My situation is a weird one, I didn't go to an ED program, but rather one for depression/suicidality.
The ed was a secondary issue, but an important one nonetheless. I worked with a nutritionist to figure out a meal plan i could follow, because i was sick of the constant carousel cycle of health/binge-purge/restrict etc. The therapist i was seeing had me recognize what was making me want to purge or to starve, and we worked on those issues. She also helped me realise that i put cutting and purging in the same mental category.

So the program gave me the tools i need to fix my own problems, which i really like, although they didn't let go of me until they were confidant i could fix them on my own.

[mia2ana]

thank you so much... but honestly, i think i have stopped caring about to much right now. your sweet for offering though, thank you