Bono: Professional Asshole
I DON'T THINK that there is really anybody out there that pisses me off to the degree that Bono does. He used to be kind of cool, what with him being Irish and havig long hair...but now he both sucks and blows. Let me tell you about it.
WHY BONO SUCKS AND BLOWS by M.Rudolph V.
1.THE WHOLE "GLORIOUS" SHTICK: I hate how Bono acts all glorious and stuff. Like he's singing some lameass song about starving in Africa, and he holds his arms open and tilts his head back, in artful pain. Fuck you, Bono. Fuck you.
2.STUPID SUNGLASSES: I hate Bono's sunglasses. They're ridiculous and lame. The End.
3.SHITTY SONGWRITER: U2 lyrics suck. They're labelled as deep and meaningful, yet nothing you could ever concieve of could be farther from a meaningful experience as some U2 lyrics. They're so atypical; "It's everything I wish I didn't know" is so boring.
4.KISSES EVERYONE'S ASS: Is Bono trying to lick everyone's asses or what? He compliments every value that Africans, Americans, Irish, Italians amd Spainards hold dear and goes around acting like they're his own.
5.ANNOYING "SUBTLE COOLNESS" THAT DOSEN'T WORK: Bono always tries to be cool but in a very subtle way...a suspicious eye glance, a drawn out breath, etc. It's annoying no matter what it is.
My back hurts cos I'm slouching, so fuck this essay! I'm going to go watch the rest of Amelie.
-M