sad.
I hate this feeling inside of me.
I feel as though there is hardly anyone out there that cares about me anymore.
I have no true friends. None that I'm close to anymore.
Its so sad and the only one to blame for this is myself.
But I don't know what I have done.
I feel the only person that would be there for me if i really needed them, is Eric.
I feel like everyone has left me in a way.
I just wish I knew what I did wrong.
I dont know why I was put here.
Today at lunch, I realized this because Shannon and Kate and Katlin just always walk away from me and never wait. Like im a nothing. So I walked to blue hall stoping myself from crying or looking like something was bothering me.
The hall was empty and I was there sitting alone.
I felt cold and helpless.
Some friends walked by after getting out of lunch but didnt say anything and I noticed they never do unless I say something first.
Obviously im not a good enough person to be a good friend. Not a good enough person for others to call me a good friend and care about me. Its werid that I care about all my friends but I dont think any of them do the same I do.
I want to talk to Eric about this. But I he doesnt like to hear me say anything like that So I can't
Im so scared that he will leave me soon too.
My mom doesnt give 2 shits about me.
Never cam to one of my tennis games even though most of the time she had nothing else to do.
And yesterday, when my sister ran away she yelled at me about it. But i mean i should be use to that by now cause thats what always happens.
If Eric didn't care. . I'd have someone end my life for me cause I dont have enough strength to do it myself.
Im sick of people trying to be nice but I know they dont actually care.
Im sick of people pretending like they are listening to what I am saying.
Im fuckin sick of myself.
I feel as though there is hardly anyone out there that cares about me anymore.
I have no true friends. None that I'm close to anymore.
Its so sad and the only one to blame for this is myself.
But I don't know what I have done.
I feel the only person that would be there for me if i really needed them, is Eric.
I feel like everyone has left me in a way.
I just wish I knew what I did wrong.
I dont know why I was put here.
Today at lunch, I realized this because Shannon and Kate and Katlin just always walk away from me and never wait. Like im a nothing. So I walked to blue hall stoping myself from crying or looking like something was bothering me.
The hall was empty and I was there sitting alone.
I felt cold and helpless.
Some friends walked by after getting out of lunch but didnt say anything and I noticed they never do unless I say something first.
Obviously im not a good enough person to be a good friend. Not a good enough person for others to call me a good friend and care about me. Its werid that I care about all my friends but I dont think any of them do the same I do.
I want to talk to Eric about this. But I he doesnt like to hear me say anything like that So I can't
Im so scared that he will leave me soon too.
My mom doesnt give 2 shits about me.
Never cam to one of my tennis games even though most of the time she had nothing else to do.
And yesterday, when my sister ran away she yelled at me about it. But i mean i should be use to that by now cause thats what always happens.
If Eric didn't care. . I'd have someone end my life for me cause I dont have enough strength to do it myself.
Im sick of people trying to be nice but I know they dont actually care.
Im sick of people pretending like they are listening to what I am saying.
Im fuckin sick of myself.