Fic: The Learning Curve (part four) - Liev Schreiber/Ryan Reynolds, NC-17
Title: The Learning Curve, part four
Pairing: Liev Schreiber/Ryan Reynolds
Rating: NC-17
Warning: RPS
Disclaimer: the following is entirely fictional and intends to cause no harm or to generate any profit
It was a one hit. It got a sequel. Part three was going to be the last. This is part four. One final part will follow. This hasn't been plotted at all, I'm just making it up as I go along. Could you tell? Part four goes out to fourleftxaviers.
The weeks passed. When he had last parted ways with Liev, Ryan told himself he was going to throw himself into work. He'd been neglecting his work lately, like everything else. Everything but him.
So he worked. He gave himself over to it entirely and he was exhausted and elated. It was so good to hang his own issues up at the door and to forget everything that had been keeping him awake at night. It was also a harsh wake up call that he knew had been a long time coming. He wanted this more than ever and he wasn't about to throw it away.
It was when he was alone, in a blank hotel room far from home, that thoughts of Liev came. Fighting it was harder than Ryan cared to admit to himself. It wasn't completely sexual. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been horny enough to do anything about it. He missed Liev's companionship. There was no one else that he wanted to talk to.
The lowest point was when Ryan realised he hadn't spoken to Scarlett in four days and that he could barely muster the will to pick up the phone.
She did much of the talking and she was in tears before the end of the conversation. Later that night, Ryan lay awake staring at the ceiling, anxiously twisting his wedding ring on his finger.
Liev didn't call. Ryan didn't want to be the first to do it. Couldn't be.
When he got back to LA, Scarlett was working away. She'd be back in two days. Every time he thought about her coming back, his stomach twisted in knots. She'd see right through him, he knew it. It had gone too far. He had gone too far.
He ached.
Too intense, that's what Liev had said about his relationship with Hugh. It's what Ryan had feared would happen with them and he felt it was his fault. Liev had remained philosophical about things but Ryan had fallen. Too deep, too much.
He couldn't call Liev, not now. He didn't trust himself to not say the words that were on the tip of his tongue.
But he needeed to talk to someone before he went insane and there was only one person he could think of who'd understand.
Hugh was his usual warm self. Ryan almost felt normal talking to him.
He'd made the call under the pretense of a casual catch up, of course. Hugh said he should have called sooner and Ryan knew that he genuinely meant it. He smiled to himself and couldn't help but reflect on how alien it seemed. He felt hollow.
Hugh talked for a while and Ryan tried to reply and laugh and crack wise. It became apparent all too soon that he hadn't convinced.
"Ryan," Hugh said, softening his tone. "Are you alright, mate?"
And Ryan knew then that there was no secret. Hugh knew exactly what was going on. Maybe Liev had told him or maybe he'd worked it out himself. He'd know from experience, after all.
"No," he said. "I don't think I am."
Hugh sighed.
"Alright. You have to talk to me."
"Hugh-"
"Ryan, you called me. Now talk."
It took Ryan a while to really open up. Hugh had done him the courtesy of not making him spell things out, simply told him that he had suspected something during filming and had assumed it had carried on since. Liev had told him nothing. Ryan clung to that. It made him feel better somehow, knowing that Liev had kept it as closely guarded as him. Or maybe he was just a dirty little secret.
"I don't know how much you know," Hugh said. "But if it helps at all, I get it."
Ryan's mouth was dry and his head was fuzzy.
"He said you guys ended it because it got too much."
"Yeah..." And suddenly Hugh's voice sounded different. Flat. Sad. "You have to be careful, Ryan."
"Careful of what?"
Hugh didn't respond immediately. Ryan could hear him breathing and tried to imagine him there in New York. The city that held everything he wanted.
"Liev is... he's very... needy."
It was the last word Ryan expected to hear finishing that sentence. He was ready for Hugh to accuse Liev of ugly things. Manipulation, greed. But of course he wouldn't. Hugh still cared for Liev. Ryan idly wondered how deeply. Did it hurt Hugh to know that Ryan had now taken his place?
Ryan sat down, weary from all the conflicting thoughts running through his mind.
"Needy?" he asked.
"Yes. He needs... everything. I thought he was content now with Naomi. Especially since the kids."
Ryan winced. That was always hit him hardest.
"Jesus Christ," Ryan murmured. "You must think I'm the world's biggest asshole."
"I already thought that, mate," Hugh gently chided, trying to brighten the mood.
They were both quiet for a moment. Hugh sighed again.
"Ryan, I remember what it feels like. He's so passionate and he gives so much. I wanted to that back to him-"
"But you didn't."
"I'm not sure if anyone can."
Ryan couldn't decide if his conversation with Hugh had helped. In some ways, he felt a weight lifted from him. But then there was everything else. Hugh was trying to warn him. Yet still, all Ryan could think of was Liev. A few hours later, he surrendered and picked up the phone.
"God, it's so good to hear your voice."
Ryan was laying on his bed. He took a deep breath. He'd known all these weeks that this was all he needed to quell the ache and he knew he was his own worst enemy for giving into it. But then Liev said things like that and nothing else mattered.
They talked about nothing and everything and Ryan enjoyed the simple pleasure of hearing Liev laugh. He even managed to laugh himself.
"When can I see you?"
Ryan's stomach flipped at the question. Liev wanted to see him. He'd had Hugh, he had Naomi and yet still, he wanted Ryan.
Everything that Hugh had said disappeared in that moment. But then he thought of Scarlett and knew that he couldn't give the answer he wanted to. She'd be back tomorrow and they hadn't seen each other in weeks. They had barely spoken and when they did, Ryan just couldn't talk. He feared that every word would betray him, though his silence was just as damning.
"You enjoying torturing me, Mr Reynolds?" Liev chuckled.
"Huh? Sorry, I was just thinking."
"So what's it to be?"
"Tomorrow. I can come to New York tomorrow."
He wasn't going to stop this time.
He wanted so much. All of Liev. Everything. Now.
He didn't talk when they were like this. He gave Liev all of his focus, watching him intently, not daring to miss a moment. He stripped Liev and laid him down.
Liev looked at Ryan with a flicker of curiousity. He could clearly sense a change. Ryan leaned down and kissed him gently. When they parted, Liev raised his right hand, gently cupping Ryan's face and stroking his cheek.
Ryan swallowed. "Will you..."
Liev pulled him down into another kiss.
He had a sense of time passing, though he really couldn't say how long it had been.
Liev's mouth, hot and wet. On his neck and shoulders. Liev's body, different now. Chest and stomach losing their definition after strict training had been abandoned. Better this way. Big and broad and real. Hands finding every part of Ryan's body. Fingers running through his hair, tracing the line of his jaw. Palms flat, running over Ryan's back. Fingers curling, pressing firmly into his hips. Holding his ass. One hand moving around to stroke his cock. Just for a while, just a gentle tease.
Ryan sucked on Liev's cock for a while, but had no intent of getting him off. They both knew what they wanted and where this was going.
Liev didn't make Ryan ask for it.
Liev's hand was flat on his stomach, fingers softly stroking back and forth. He buried his face in the crook of Ryan's neck.
"You're doing good," he murmured.
Ryan couldn't speak. He let his head fall back, eyes closed. His heart was hammering in his chest.
"Breathe," Liev whispered.
He was so full, so overwhelmed. Every nerve in his body jittered. He hadn't thought he could feel closer to Liev than when he'd been inside him.
Liev drew his hips back slowly. Ryan bit his lip, fighting the urge to cry out for fear that he'd sob. Liev's arms circled him, one hand finding a shoulder, the other a hip. He cradled Ryan and rocked them both together.
Ryan somehow found the will to turn his head, seeking out Liev's mouth. A low moan against his lips. They kissed, awkward like this with Ryan craning his neck, but hungry all the same.
The pull deep inside him was driving Ryan mad. It hurt, it burned, it was amazing. He could barely stand it but he didn't want it to stop. He wanted to look Liev in the eye next time.
Next time. It seemed too much to ask.
They were laying on their sides, facing one another. Close. Liev kept touching Ryan's face, stroking his cheek with a thumb or tracing the lines of his features. It didn't occur to Ryan to shy away from it. He ate the attention up, greedy for more. He'd gone without for too long and he still wasn't dumb enough to believe that his share was without a limit. He would take everything Liev offered while he could.
He was getting a dead leg, so he shifted and winced. Liev noted it.
"Are you okay?"
Ryan smiled sheepishly. "Yeah."
Liev pressed a soft kiss against Ryan's mouth. He reached down and took Ryan's hand, knitting their fingers together.
"Thank you."
The surprise must have shown on Ryan's face, because Liev smirked.
"Uh. You're welcome, I guess."
It felt good to react with a wise ass quip and prove that he could still be himself despite everything he knew being unrecognisable.
"Do you mind?" Liev grinned. "I'm trying to be sincere."
Ryan smiled, looking down for a moment. He licked his lips. "Sorry. Please, go ahead."
"You amaze me."
Liev had a remarkable way of commanding the tone of a conversation. He could shift the atmosphere from playful to intense with a few carefully chosen words. Ryan knew he was supposed to listen now. No quips, no sneering. No laughter.
"I want you to know that. I understand what you've given me and it amazes me."
Liev paused and Ryan wondered if he was supposed to say something back. Maybe put things in perspective. Because yes, he had given Liev a lot, but he'd taken so much back. He didn't know if he'd be able to find the words to explain the ache. He didn't know if it was right to talk about his desperate need to have all of Liev to himself. He was too scared to even contemplate saying-
"I've fallen in love with you, Ryan."
Pairing: Liev Schreiber/Ryan Reynolds
Rating: NC-17
Warning: RPS
Disclaimer: the following is entirely fictional and intends to cause no harm or to generate any profit
It was a one hit. It got a sequel. Part three was going to be the last. This is part four. One final part will follow. This hasn't been plotted at all, I'm just making it up as I go along. Could you tell? Part four goes out to fourleftxaviers.
The weeks passed. When he had last parted ways with Liev, Ryan told himself he was going to throw himself into work. He'd been neglecting his work lately, like everything else. Everything but him.
So he worked. He gave himself over to it entirely and he was exhausted and elated. It was so good to hang his own issues up at the door and to forget everything that had been keeping him awake at night. It was also a harsh wake up call that he knew had been a long time coming. He wanted this more than ever and he wasn't about to throw it away.
It was when he was alone, in a blank hotel room far from home, that thoughts of Liev came. Fighting it was harder than Ryan cared to admit to himself. It wasn't completely sexual. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been horny enough to do anything about it. He missed Liev's companionship. There was no one else that he wanted to talk to.
The lowest point was when Ryan realised he hadn't spoken to Scarlett in four days and that he could barely muster the will to pick up the phone.
She did much of the talking and she was in tears before the end of the conversation. Later that night, Ryan lay awake staring at the ceiling, anxiously twisting his wedding ring on his finger.
Liev didn't call. Ryan didn't want to be the first to do it. Couldn't be.
When he got back to LA, Scarlett was working away. She'd be back in two days. Every time he thought about her coming back, his stomach twisted in knots. She'd see right through him, he knew it. It had gone too far. He had gone too far.
He ached.
Too intense, that's what Liev had said about his relationship with Hugh. It's what Ryan had feared would happen with them and he felt it was his fault. Liev had remained philosophical about things but Ryan had fallen. Too deep, too much.
He couldn't call Liev, not now. He didn't trust himself to not say the words that were on the tip of his tongue.
But he needeed to talk to someone before he went insane and there was only one person he could think of who'd understand.
Hugh was his usual warm self. Ryan almost felt normal talking to him.
He'd made the call under the pretense of a casual catch up, of course. Hugh said he should have called sooner and Ryan knew that he genuinely meant it. He smiled to himself and couldn't help but reflect on how alien it seemed. He felt hollow.
Hugh talked for a while and Ryan tried to reply and laugh and crack wise. It became apparent all too soon that he hadn't convinced.
"Ryan," Hugh said, softening his tone. "Are you alright, mate?"
And Ryan knew then that there was no secret. Hugh knew exactly what was going on. Maybe Liev had told him or maybe he'd worked it out himself. He'd know from experience, after all.
"No," he said. "I don't think I am."
Hugh sighed.
"Alright. You have to talk to me."
"Hugh-"
"Ryan, you called me. Now talk."
It took Ryan a while to really open up. Hugh had done him the courtesy of not making him spell things out, simply told him that he had suspected something during filming and had assumed it had carried on since. Liev had told him nothing. Ryan clung to that. It made him feel better somehow, knowing that Liev had kept it as closely guarded as him. Or maybe he was just a dirty little secret.
"I don't know how much you know," Hugh said. "But if it helps at all, I get it."
Ryan's mouth was dry and his head was fuzzy.
"He said you guys ended it because it got too much."
"Yeah..." And suddenly Hugh's voice sounded different. Flat. Sad. "You have to be careful, Ryan."
"Careful of what?"
Hugh didn't respond immediately. Ryan could hear him breathing and tried to imagine him there in New York. The city that held everything he wanted.
"Liev is... he's very... needy."
It was the last word Ryan expected to hear finishing that sentence. He was ready for Hugh to accuse Liev of ugly things. Manipulation, greed. But of course he wouldn't. Hugh still cared for Liev. Ryan idly wondered how deeply. Did it hurt Hugh to know that Ryan had now taken his place?
Ryan sat down, weary from all the conflicting thoughts running through his mind.
"Needy?" he asked.
"Yes. He needs... everything. I thought he was content now with Naomi. Especially since the kids."
Ryan winced. That was always hit him hardest.
"Jesus Christ," Ryan murmured. "You must think I'm the world's biggest asshole."
"I already thought that, mate," Hugh gently chided, trying to brighten the mood.
They were both quiet for a moment. Hugh sighed again.
"Ryan, I remember what it feels like. He's so passionate and he gives so much. I wanted to that back to him-"
"But you didn't."
"I'm not sure if anyone can."
Ryan couldn't decide if his conversation with Hugh had helped. In some ways, he felt a weight lifted from him. But then there was everything else. Hugh was trying to warn him. Yet still, all Ryan could think of was Liev. A few hours later, he surrendered and picked up the phone.
"God, it's so good to hear your voice."
Ryan was laying on his bed. He took a deep breath. He'd known all these weeks that this was all he needed to quell the ache and he knew he was his own worst enemy for giving into it. But then Liev said things like that and nothing else mattered.
They talked about nothing and everything and Ryan enjoyed the simple pleasure of hearing Liev laugh. He even managed to laugh himself.
"When can I see you?"
Ryan's stomach flipped at the question. Liev wanted to see him. He'd had Hugh, he had Naomi and yet still, he wanted Ryan.
Everything that Hugh had said disappeared in that moment. But then he thought of Scarlett and knew that he couldn't give the answer he wanted to. She'd be back tomorrow and they hadn't seen each other in weeks. They had barely spoken and when they did, Ryan just couldn't talk. He feared that every word would betray him, though his silence was just as damning.
"You enjoying torturing me, Mr Reynolds?" Liev chuckled.
"Huh? Sorry, I was just thinking."
"So what's it to be?"
"Tomorrow. I can come to New York tomorrow."
He wasn't going to stop this time.
He wanted so much. All of Liev. Everything. Now.
He didn't talk when they were like this. He gave Liev all of his focus, watching him intently, not daring to miss a moment. He stripped Liev and laid him down.
Liev looked at Ryan with a flicker of curiousity. He could clearly sense a change. Ryan leaned down and kissed him gently. When they parted, Liev raised his right hand, gently cupping Ryan's face and stroking his cheek.
Ryan swallowed. "Will you..."
Liev pulled him down into another kiss.
He had a sense of time passing, though he really couldn't say how long it had been.
Liev's mouth, hot and wet. On his neck and shoulders. Liev's body, different now. Chest and stomach losing their definition after strict training had been abandoned. Better this way. Big and broad and real. Hands finding every part of Ryan's body. Fingers running through his hair, tracing the line of his jaw. Palms flat, running over Ryan's back. Fingers curling, pressing firmly into his hips. Holding his ass. One hand moving around to stroke his cock. Just for a while, just a gentle tease.
Ryan sucked on Liev's cock for a while, but had no intent of getting him off. They both knew what they wanted and where this was going.
Liev didn't make Ryan ask for it.
Liev's hand was flat on his stomach, fingers softly stroking back and forth. He buried his face in the crook of Ryan's neck.
"You're doing good," he murmured.
Ryan couldn't speak. He let his head fall back, eyes closed. His heart was hammering in his chest.
"Breathe," Liev whispered.
He was so full, so overwhelmed. Every nerve in his body jittered. He hadn't thought he could feel closer to Liev than when he'd been inside him.
Liev drew his hips back slowly. Ryan bit his lip, fighting the urge to cry out for fear that he'd sob. Liev's arms circled him, one hand finding a shoulder, the other a hip. He cradled Ryan and rocked them both together.
Ryan somehow found the will to turn his head, seeking out Liev's mouth. A low moan against his lips. They kissed, awkward like this with Ryan craning his neck, but hungry all the same.
The pull deep inside him was driving Ryan mad. It hurt, it burned, it was amazing. He could barely stand it but he didn't want it to stop. He wanted to look Liev in the eye next time.
Next time. It seemed too much to ask.
They were laying on their sides, facing one another. Close. Liev kept touching Ryan's face, stroking his cheek with a thumb or tracing the lines of his features. It didn't occur to Ryan to shy away from it. He ate the attention up, greedy for more. He'd gone without for too long and he still wasn't dumb enough to believe that his share was without a limit. He would take everything Liev offered while he could.
He was getting a dead leg, so he shifted and winced. Liev noted it.
"Are you okay?"
Ryan smiled sheepishly. "Yeah."
Liev pressed a soft kiss against Ryan's mouth. He reached down and took Ryan's hand, knitting their fingers together.
"Thank you."
The surprise must have shown on Ryan's face, because Liev smirked.
"Uh. You're welcome, I guess."
It felt good to react with a wise ass quip and prove that he could still be himself despite everything he knew being unrecognisable.
"Do you mind?" Liev grinned. "I'm trying to be sincere."
Ryan smiled, looking down for a moment. He licked his lips. "Sorry. Please, go ahead."
"You amaze me."
Liev had a remarkable way of commanding the tone of a conversation. He could shift the atmosphere from playful to intense with a few carefully chosen words. Ryan knew he was supposed to listen now. No quips, no sneering. No laughter.
"I want you to know that. I understand what you've given me and it amazes me."
Liev paused and Ryan wondered if he was supposed to say something back. Maybe put things in perspective. Because yes, he had given Liev a lot, but he'd taken so much back. He didn't know if he'd be able to find the words to explain the ache. He didn't know if it was right to talk about his desperate need to have all of Liev to himself. He was too scared to even contemplate saying-
"I've fallen in love with you, Ryan."