Dreaming Through the Twilight 12a
Title: Dreaming Through the Twilight
Fandom: JE
Pairing: PiKame, Akame
Rating: PG 13
Warning: Un-beta-ed.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: Once upon a time, there was a turtle who really loved a pear…
Dreaming Through the Twilight
Yamapi/Jin/Kame
Chapter 12
*
The ringtone rang for what felt like forever to Jin before Toma finally picked it up.
“Toma,” Jin called, voice small and broken and just so lost.
Toma sighed on the other end of the phone. “I’ve been waiting for your call actually.” He said, his voice held that quiet tone that meant he was no joking right now. “Now take a deep breath, and tell me what happened. Slowly.”
*
Yamapi drove Kame home after that.
On the ride home, no one said anything, and the only sound that could be heard was the soft hum of the car’s machine. Yamapi didn’t turn on the radio or the car’s stereo system, and just let the silence hang around them.
Kame spent his time staring out the window, tracing the glass with his fingertips idly. Yamapi wasn’t sure whether Kame was looking at his own reflection or the blurry scenery outside. Perhaps Kame was looking at neither. Perhaps the boy was looking at something that Yamapi couldn’t see, something - or someone - that wasn’t there, someone who refused to leave his mind in peace.
Perhaps Kame was thinking about Jin.
He reached out his left hand and covered Kame’s eyes with his palm. “Oi, don’t sleep with your eyes open,” he said absently, keeping his eyes on the road ahead.
There was no reply for a while, and Yamapi would have been convinced that Kame was really asleep if not for the soft flutters of Kame’s eyelashes against his palm. Then Kame touched Yamapi’s hand with his fingers lightly, so gently that it felt almost as if he didn’t touch him at all before his fingers curled around Yamapi’s hand in a firmer grip and pulled it away from his eyes.
“Yamapi, Pi-chan, I’m not sleeping, and you know that,” he said, his tone soft and slow, like he was actually talking through the haze in his mind, and there was a certain something that tinted his voice, though Yamapi didn’t know what it was.
Yamapi shrugged. “I’m just saying,” he replied. He felt Kame’s gaze linger on him for a moment before Kame leaned his forehead against the glass window and went to stare off the window again, his left hand back on tracing the glass, his right hand over Yamapi’s left one.
After a while, Yamapi sent Kame a curious glance, but Kame didn’t seem to notice that his right hand was still holding Yamapi’s hand loosely. He looked amusedly at their joined hands. What was this? Did Kame unconsciously try to find some comfort in other people’s presence - and in this case, Yamapi’s? Making sure that someone was really there beside him, that he wasn’t alone?
Well, now there were only the two of them, not that Yamapi minded the gesture.
He slipped his hand off Kame’s hold only to hold Kame’s hand in his instead, squeezing it a little harder than necessary. I’m here.
The corner of Kame’s lips might or might not have twitched upwards, but Yamapi could never be sure about that, because Kame was facing the window and Yamapi could neither see his face nor his reflection clearly.
He didn’t let go of Kame’s hand for the rest of the ride.
*
When they arrived at Kame’s apartment, Yamapi immediately headed to the refrigerator, intending to look for some booze. No one needed to be sober when dealing with something like this. Except when he finally got to the refrigerator, it was actually empty, save for some cans of coke. Yamapi sighed. He’d forgotten that Kame spent almost all his time on the set, so of course it was understandable that his freezer would be empty. No booze then.
He closed the refrigerator door a little harder than necessary perhaps, if the loud sound it produced was any indication.
“Pi-chan,” Kame said.
Yamapi turned, and he saw Kame, standing barefooted in the living room clad only in his shirt and loose jeans, clutching his jacket close to his chest with both hands like some sort of protection, his expression almost blank - not because he was trying to hide his emotion, but more like because he was confuse and didn’t know how to express himself - looking straight at him. There was something in the way Kame looked at him that made Yamapi suddenly feel self-conscious and very aware of their situation right now, that if he didn’t back off now, there would be no way back.
“Pi-chan,” Kame said again, and this time there was a small hint of urgency and desperation creeping up into his voice, like he was trying to get him a message, a message that Yamapi couldn’t understand, or perhaps didn’t want to understand.
Yamapi shifted, looking at the other boy fully. “Kazuya,” he said, tasting the way that name rolling off his tongue. Not a formal Kame, not a childish Kazu-chan, but an almost intimate Kazuya, and he couldn’t shake the feeling like being in a dream when he said that name.
He blinked.
“Is it okay?” he asked, because he knew what he wanted, and he was sure that he knew what Kame wanted, what Kame needed right now, and it wasn’t him.
“Pi-chan,” Kame said again, like it was all the answer he could offer, like it was all the answer Yamapi needed from him. Kame was still looking at him, not through him like he did sometimes, but he sounded like what he was seeing wasn’t really there, or like he was seeing him for the very first time - the way Kame said his name, he almost sounded like Yamapi wasn’t real.
And somehow, somehow Yamapi got it. He understood what it felt like, because he’d been there, done that way back then.
Right now, Yamapi was the most familiar thing in Kame’s world, the only unchanging one. And Kame trusted him, trusted him more than anyone or anything right now, even though it only because Kame felt he couldn’t be sure about Jin anymore.
And Yamapi hated it; really, really hated it.
But Kame was looking at him still, and Yamapi was restless. He wanted to look away, but he couldn’t bring himself to. He flicked his wrist back, and there was a resounding snap that filled the silence for a moment before the room went back to its respective but rather unwelcome silence.
“Pi-chan,” Kame said, and it almost sounded like a whine.
Kame was waiting, waiting for him to make the first move, and Yamapi knew perhaps he shouldn’t - no, he definitely really shouldn’t -
Against his better judgement, he crossed the room in strides and grabbed Kame’s shoulders roughly before crushing their lips together, and Kame dropped the jacket he was holding in favor of snaking his arms around Yamapi’s neck, pressing their bodies together, and soon, Kame’s jacket wasn’t the only thing that fell to the floor.
Yamapi kissed Kame hard and rough and demanding, just like he usually did, and this time, Kame actually kissed him back - kissed him back like he never really did before, kissed him back like he meant it, and not only because he wanted to distract Yamapi like he’d done in Morioka yesterday. Kissed him back like Yamapi’d always wanted him to, kissed him back like -
And Yamapi suddenly felt so hot, so very hot, even though it was almost winter and he’d forgotten to turn on the heater. Because Kame was kissing him, kissing him soft and slow, so very different from the way Yamapi kissed him. Kame was kissing him like he was trying to study him, trying to learn about him, trying to get to know him from the way they kissed only.
He ran his hands through Kame’s sides, down and down further to his waist, his navel, his thighs, and Kame was arching his back, and it was then that Yamapi realized Kame’s lips was whispering some words into the kiss, words that sounded almost like make me forget, make me forget, Pi-chan, please, I’m sorry -
It felt like being poured suddenly by cold water. All his senses were immediately on alert and he pulled away from Kame, breaking their kiss abruptly. He was awake now, no longer feeling like he was in a dream.
They were lying on the cold floor in the middle of the living room of Kame’s apartment, and Kame was a little panting beneath him, beads of sweat glistening his forehead, hair framing his face, but his eyes were clear, very clear, and they were looking at Yamapi now.
“Is this really what you want?” Yamapi asked, and perhaps it was a little out of place to ask now, when he never even asked before. But it was one thing to take Kame by force, and entirely another when he had his consent.
He’d never had Kame’s consent on the matter before.
There was no question whether Yamapi wanted him or not, but Yamapi wasn’t going to be the one who regretted this afterwards. It was Jin that Kame wanted right now, not him, and no matter what, he could never be Jin.
But then Kame cupped Yamapi’s face with both hands, and lifted his head slowly from the floor to press his lips against Yamapi’s tenderly. “Pi-chan,” he said, his voice small, but Yamapi could hear the desperation there clearly now, and it was enough of an answer for him. “Pi-chan, Pi-chan, please, Pi-chan - “ and Kame never stopped looking at him.
He started to feel restless again, restless in his own skin, like somehow he didn’t fit anymore, didn’t feel safe anymore, because he felt so open, so exposed under Kame’s unguarded eyes. He was just too used to seeing things through many layers, and the way Kame looked at him just unsettling him.
Don’t get too close, Toma had warned him some time ago, but Yamapi had ignored him, ignored him like he ignored everything else, and now Yamapi was falling, falling deep and deeper and deeper and didn’t know how to get up again.
It was just too late to go back.
“Don’t close your eyes,” Yamapi finally said before he leaned down to take Kame’s mouth on his, and then they were kissing; kissing and touching and pressing close and closer still and his hands were everywhere on Kame’s skin, and he just didn’t want to care about anything else anymore, especially because in between Kame’s cries of Pi-chan and I’m sorry and make me forget, it was someone else that he thought he saw in Kame’s eyes.
And Yamapi was restless; restless, and he just didn’t know how to stop.
After that, if Yamapi had held him too hard that he left his fingerprints on Kame’s skin, Kame never mentioned it.
*
“Before you say anything, let me guess: you failed. Miserably. Again.” Toma said when he picked up his phone.
Jin sighed tiredly, leaning his back against the wall. “It just didn’t seem right. It felt like I was facing a stranger, and not Kame. I just… I don’t think I know what’s happening anymore.” He said, his voice getting smaller with every word.
Toma tsk’ed. “Jinnie, this is the third day already, and you actually still make no progress?”
“Yeah, mock me all you want.” Jin said tiredly.
“Wait, was Tomohisa there? With Kazuya, I mean?”
“Yeah, I think. They still have to perform that Shuji to Akira duet after all. Why?”
“Ehhh~ Really.” Toma commented, sounding so amused, like there was some inside joke in Yamapi being there with Kame that Jin couldn’t get. “Never mind. What will you do now?”
“I don’t know! That’s why I call you in the first place! You’ve been dealt with this before, when Yamapi suddenly changed. Why don’t you tell me what to do?” he said wretchedly. “You clearly know more than I do.”
There was a pause. A long one. In which Toma didn’t say anything.
“Toma…?”
Then, a long suffering sigh. “I wish I were there just so I can kick your ass. Or smack your head. Because you clearly need it. Badly.” He said flatly.
“…what?”
“Dude, get real. He’s Kazuya, and you’re Akanishi Jin! I can tell you many things about Tomohisa, but I can tell you nada about Kazuya. I can guess, and I can make assumptions, but I can’t give you any fact about him. You’re the one who has been at his side for years, dammit, so if there is anyone who knows him well, it would be you, not me.”
“But I…” I feel like I don’t know him anymore. Jin fidgeted with the hem of his shirt anxiously.
“Sweetheart, please, stop being all emo on me. It doesn’t suit you.” Toma sighed again. ”Look, I think Kazuya was just following your lead. I mean, he based his action on how you treated him first. If you act all uptight and tense and wary around him, then you can be sure he will give you a fake version of him, as you called it.” Then his tone softened. “Jin, what do you think the true nature of Tomohisa’s façade really is?”
“How should I know?”
“You should know, since Kazuya currently using it against you, duh.” Toma tsk’ed.
“I don’t know. How can you be sure that it isn’t just because Yamapi hates everyone and the world in general and he wants us all to suffer, so he can feel all superior?”
Toma sighed. Again. “I’m disappointed at you, seriously. What little faith you have there for your own dear best friend, when said best friend actually really cares about you that he set up this whole thing. Do you know what Tomohisa’s real initial plan before this thing got so messed up? Of course you don’t.”
“…You’re babbling.” Jin replied instantly, final and flat and definitely disbelieving.
Toma huffed into the phone. “Unfortunately, no. I know, the truth hurts.” Here, Jin just knew Toma had that mock-sympathetic look plastered on his face. “Anyway, the true nature of Tomohisa’s little stunt, by all means, is not to hurt people. It’s a defense mechanism, a way to protect himself in which he uses it to distance himself from anyone that might hurt him. And I think you could also apply that saying ‘attack first before you get attacked’ here.”
Jin stared incredulously at his phone before he put it back on his ear. “A defense mechanism? What the hell are you talking about? Then why would Kame use it against me? I will never hurt him!”
“But you did, Jinnie darling.” Toma said softly. “You did hurt him.”
A brief silence followed that statement.
“It was completely unintentional. I was… I wasn’t thinking straight at the time,”
“Of course you wasn’t.” Toma said quietly. “But Jin, remember this: the one you hold dear most to your heart is actually the one who is most capable of hurting you. So be careful with it.”
“…what?”
“You know, you actually should be happy that Kazuya puts up a mask in front of you, because that means he cherishes you as something more than just a friend, or a best friend. That means you’re really important to him.”
“I… “ Jin meant to say something else, but found that he didn’t know what to say to that.. “Then why does Kame smile more easily around Yamapi? Why doesn’t he put up a mask too? If your theory on that defense mechanism thing is actually right, then why doesn’t Kame treat Yamapi as a threat, when Yamapi was the one who put those bruises on his body?”
A brief pause, in which Jin realized he had slipped up.
“I have another theory on why, but firstly, Jin darling, did you forget to tell me something?” Toma said lightly, but Jin could hear the inquiry he slipped there, could trace the serious note behind his words. “You never mentioned anything about bruises before.”
“Forget it,” Jin said curtly. He had forgotten that Toma actually didn’t know all the small details. And for some reason, he didn’t see it fit to tell Toma about that particular detail. It just… sometimes he felt like Toma actually had his own agenda, and by helping him, he was actually only helping himself. And he was never really sure whose side Toma was on.
“Jin, if you don’t tell me everything, how can I help you fully?”
“Just forget it, okay? It doesn’t matter,” Jin muttered in a small voice. “It really doesn’t matter anymore,”
Toma sighed. “Fine, have it your way.” He said defiantly, giving up, but Jin knew Toma wouldn’t just forget and let the matter rest. He would definitely bug him later on, when he least expected it. Toma was just sly like that. “Now, what do you have in mind?” he asked.
“Nothing.” Jin answered resignedly.
“Excuse me?”
“Nothing. Like, I won’t do anything more and just let things be.”
“Hey,” Toma said fondly, and Jin’s ears perked up at the tone that Toma used. He sounded oddly happy. “It’s probably the best decision you can make at the moment I know you have it in you! Really, you can’t make any better choice right now.”
Jin’s eyebrow shot up upon hearing that. “And why is that? How come not doing anything is actually a good thing?”
“Because Jin, you can never face fire with another fire. It will only worsen it, and you, my friend, is just never a man of planning. You’ll only end up messing it when you make a plan. Spontaneity. That’s your best trait, I think. ”
“…you don’t make any sense.” Jin replied, because really, he didn’t.
“It’s element of surprise, Jin. Even Tomohisa isn’t immune to it. When people feel surprised or shocked, they tend to show their real selves.” Toma said, and there was this odd touch to his voice, like he was smiling and feeling happy, and he was trying to project his feeling into his words and his tone so everyone could feel the same way. It was just weird. “Just wait and see.” He whispered discreetly, his tone so flowy that Jin wondered why he didn’t just singsong it.
Jin rolled his eyes. “Fine.”
“Why did you suddenly decide to not do anything anyway? It’s unlike you to do something like that. Usually you will just pursue the matter persistently until you get what you want. Don’t tell me you’re giving up?” Toma laughed, but his laugh immediately died down when he realized Jin didn’t respond. “Oh my God, you are.”
Jin didn’t answer.
“Akanishi Jin, you - you stupid, stupid, stupid you - you, you just - ARGH! Don’t give up on Kazuya you moron! I’ve given up on Tomohisa, and look what happened! Don’t do the same thing I did, Jin, just don’t.”
“I’m not exactly giving up.” Jin finally said. “I, I think I’m going to just stop pressing him and see how he will react. I’ve been thinking, and I realized that I never exactly ask him what he wanted, what he wants, and just assume things on my own. I mean, I will wait, and if he shows any sign that he actually still wants me by his side, then I’ll try to patch things up so we can go back to the way we were before. But if he doesn’t, then… “ he trailed off. He took a deep breath and continued, “…then I’ll still patch things up, and the rest can follow later.”
There was a smile in Toma’s voice when he gave him a reply. “You’re all grown up, aren’t you?”
The corners of Jin’s mouth turned upward and formed a half-smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes, and he gave up on smiling altogether. “Not really, because I still think Yamapi is dangerous and I don’t want him anywhere near Kame.”
“Ah.”
“Once, you mentioned that Kame’s pretty. I thought you were just teasing me about that, but then I remember that Yamapi never likes pretty things, so that means you were actually trying to clue me in something that I don’t get until recently. It’s way too long, isn’t it? The time he spends near Kame? This isn’t his usual pattern at all.” Jin laughed bitterly. “I wonder what he saw in Kame. I wonder if he saw himself. I wonder if - “
“Jin. Don’t go there.” Toma interrupted him quietly.
“But if that’s the case, then I think I’m starting to understand the reason for some of Yamapi’s action, but I don’t have to like it or agree to it.”
“No one ask you to. Well, at least right now.” Toma said.
Jin smiled. “Gotta run, Toma. I’ll get back to you later.” He hung up before Toma could say another word and turn off his phone for good measure.
He sighed. Giving up, eh? He would never give up on Kame! Never. But it was true that he didn’t know what else to do. He had said he was going to wait. But Jin was never one to just wait patiently and let things unfold. And he also couldn’t say sorry for what had he done that day, because it was truly how he felt. Oh, how he wished he could lie with a straight face!
Then an idea suddenly struck him. If he couldn’t say it, perhaps he could just write it. It wouldn’t be enough, but at least he had tried.
Jin smiled. There was still hope for him yet, after all.
*
“Again I ask, what are we doing here?” Yamapi asked for the ninth time that night, eyeing the water fountain in front of them and the pond that surrounding it. He glanced down at the water inside the pond. But it was too dark, and he couldn’t see anything there.
“We are going to make a wish.” Kame answered excitedly.
“But why here?”
“Because I remember Tat-chan once said that if you throw a coin into a water fountain, then your wish will come true.”
Yamapi eyed the boy beside him dubiously. “Only children believe that. I can’t believe someone your age still think it’s true. Besides, Ueda probably meant a water shrine, not a water fountain.” He said matter-of-factly.
Kame purposely stepped on his foot. Ow.
“Such a realist. I’m sure you don’t have any dream. I feel sad, sad for you.” Kame rolled his eyes at him. “Your life must be a dark and empty place where sunshine can’t get through.” He commented off-handedly.
Yamapi frowned. That had been a little close to home. But Kame didn’t seem to realize it. “Better a realist who knows life is unfair and that you have to work hard to get what you want, even then sometimes you just can’t get it no matter how hard you try than an idealist who can only dream and hope that one day his life will change without doing anything to make it happen.”
Kame sighed and turned to look at him. “That is really a depressing thought. Stop it. And I’m not that hopeless. It’s true we need to be real and work for what we want, but it’s okay to have a hope, because hope gives us light in the darkest time. Ever heard of that saying before?”
“Hope will get us nowhere. And it will feel so much worse if we let our hopes up, and in the end we couldn’t get what we want.” He said, looking at Kame grimly.
Kame looked back unflinchingly at him. “Then just keep on hoping. If we truly believe it, then surely one day - one day our wish will come true.”
“Dreamer,” Yamapi accused.
“Just what kind of life have you been living, anyway? Find some not-so-depressing thought to lighten that dark, dark place inside your head, will you?” Kame suggested.
Yamapi raised an eyebrow at him. “You volunteering?”
Kame looked surprised at that. “What? You think I’m the light of your life?” he asked amusedly. “You know, if you keep doing this, I’m going to take what Horikita-san told me for granted.”
He frowned. “Horikita?”
“Yeah, Horikita-san. She told me some interesting things that I find hard to believe just before we left Morioka.” Kame replied distractedly, looking for something inside his pocket.
Yamapi tensed. “What did she tell you?”
“She said: ‘Kamenashi-kun, do you know why Yamashita-san treat you differently?’ when I shook my head no, she smiled that secret-girly-smile at me and said: ’want me to tell you?’” Kame said, pulling some things out of his pocket, and his face brightened when apparently he found what he was looking for.
“Then what?” Yamapi asked impatiently.
Kame looked at him with that mischievous glint in his eyes. “If you want to know the rest, then you should just throw a coin and wish for me to tell you. Because, you know, if your wish comes true, then I might just tell you about it.”
Yamapi narrowed his eyes. “That’s absurd. And cheating.”
Kame shrugged. “A wish is a wish.” Then he took a position at the edge of the pond and closed his eyes for some moment. Yamapi was sure Kame must be making his wish in that moment.
It wasn’t that he never wished for anything. It was just that he was too used to being let down that he finally stopped wishing for anything altogether. Looking at how serious Kame looked when he was making his wish, Yamapi was sure he knew what Kame wished for. Must be something Jin-related. He sighed.
Just as Kame was about to toss some coins, Yamapi bumped him on the shoulder. Kame yelped in surprise and accidentally dropped everything he was holding in his hands into the dark water of the pond.
“Argh! My keys-ring! I mean my ring-keys! No, I mean my keys! And my ring! Oh my God!” Kame exclaimed in panic. Then he turned and glared at Yamapi.
Yamapi raised an eyebrow at him. “I’m helping you,” he said in a manner of someone that tried to give a difficult explanation to a five-year-old kid. “Because, you know, perhaps your wish will come earlier if you give all your possession.”
“And since when did you, a realist, know about such thing?” Kame spat out. The he sighed tiredly. “This is just so you, bugging me in the most inappropriate time.”
“Ouch.” He said, feigning hurt. “Wait, what are you doing?” he asked when he saw Kame climb down the pond.
Kame rolled his eyes. “I need to find my keys, duh. How can I enter my apartment if I don’t have my keys?”
“You’re going to get wet.” Yamapi said, stating the obvious. The water was only at Kame’s knee’s high, so Kame wouldn’t get that wet, but still.
“Can’t help it, can I?” he said, looking around and squinting his eyes to find his missing things. Every once in a while, Kame also crouched down and fingered the floor of the pond.
Yamapi sighed. He started to feel guilty for making Kame drop his things. Except not really. This was going to take forever. It was really a pity he didn’t have a flash light with him. He shrugged off his jacket to the side and joined Kame in the pond. Or pool. Kame looked surprised and mildly grateful, and Yamapi suddenly felt a little warm on the inside.
“Are these your keys?” he asked Kame a few minutes later, tossing a set of keys to Kame, which Kame caught easily.
He smiled at him. “Yeah, thank you.”
“Good. Then can we go home now?” he whined.
Kame looked hesitated. “I still need to find my ring,” he said.
“Aren’t you wearing it right now?” he gestured to Kame’s left hand, where a ring rested peacefully around his pinky.
“It’s my old one that I dropped.” He said uneasily.
“Ah.” Of course. The one that matched Jin’s. He was about to say something else when suddenly water spurted from the fountain sprayed them from every direction, making them completely wet. “What the - who did this?” he sputtered indignantly, looking around in hope to find the culprit until he remembered that this fountain was set to sprout water every few hours.
Just the type of his luck, really.
He heard some laughter from behind, and when he turned around, what he saw made his breath hitch.
There Kame was, playing with water like a child, picking up some water with his hands only to throw it again the next second, looking entirely unconcerned about anything. The fountain kept raining them with water, and Kame ran around the pond excitedly, like he was actually never out in the rain all his life before.
Yamapi stared.
Somehow, it just felt so wrong to watch Kame shift about the place, running around to get away from the sprouting water of doom, laughing all the while. It was wrong to appear so unbearably happy like that just because of …nothing at all.
It was just so wrong, Yamapi thought, so plainly wrong to look that beautiful and innocent at the same time, especially when you were drenching wet in cold water. People always associated the word ‘wet’ with ‘sexy’, and even Yamapi had to admit that sometimes he used the word ‘wet’ to create a somewhat sexy image.
However, looking at Kame now, even soaked from head to toe as he was, ‘sexy’ was hardly something that he got in mind. Adorable, innocent and defenseless were more likely to describe how Kame looked like right now.
And right then, perhaps he finally understood Jin’s urge to keep Kame out of harm way by keeping him at his side, shielding him from the world, protecting him from anything that might snatch his innocent away, trying to make him stay untainted.
That was also apparently one of the reasons Jin didn’t like to see him anywhere near Kame. Unlike him, Kame had never been in a dark place before.
He stepped closer to where Kame was currently standing with his head tilted upwards toward the sky, eyes closed, a blissful expression on his face, and stopped short right in front of him. Feeling his presence, Kame slowly opened his eyes and looked at him, blinking some water that got into his eyes.
Kame smiled up at him. “Yamapi? You wanna play with me?” he said, wiping some drops of water from his face using his long-sleeve and pushed his wet hair back, away from his face.
Without so much as saying a word, he grabbed Kame by his arm and sealed their lips together, his other hand snaking around Kame’s waist to bring him closer. Kame looked at him with surprise before he closed his eyes and responded to his advances by parting his lips, allowing him to taste the inside of his mouth.
Yamapi kept his eyes open, trying to take in every detail of the boy before him. His flushed cheeks, his fluttering eyelashes, the way his wet hair sticking to his forehead, everything.
When they parted, he immediately led Kame out of the pond and shrugged his coat that he left on the ground over Kame’s shoulders. Kame was shivering visibly by now. “We should go home,” he said, dragging Kame by his hand and leading the way to his car.
“But, my ring…”
He sighed. Trust Kame to not forget about that. “We’ll just go back here later. Besides, it’s late now.”
Kame didn’t say anything else and just followed him silently.
Kame’s hand felt really, really cold on his. No wonder really, since they had just got out of cold water. But when Kame unconsciously grasped his hand back, Yamapi felt oddly warm.
*
When Kame opened the door to the KAT-TUN’s dressing room the next day, no one was present. Not surprising, since it was still really early in the morning.
He looked around the empty room, and his eyes immediately fell on the little - turtle? - plushie on top of a big, brown envelope lying carelessly on the dressing table. He approached the table and picked up the plushie, which was just the size of his knuckle, and looked at it closely. Its body was white, while the color of its shell was light brown with some white stripes marring it.
Kame wasn’t really into dolls or plushies, but he had to admit the turtle plushie was rather… cute.
He smiled. Whose is it?
Then he examined the envelope next, turning it around in hope to find some addressed name, but other than the words Bring me to the light that scribbled on the front, there was nothing else on it.
Kame frowned in concentration. “Bring me to the light…?” he read it again. “What does it mean…?” he said, tilting his head to the side a little. Curious, he opened the envelope and found several papers inside it. But surprisingly, the papers were empty, clean, and not a single dot on them. He flipped through them one by one, but really, they were just plain papers.
Shrugging, he attempted to get all the papers back into the envelope, but a single paper slipped and fell under the table. So he crouched down on the floor and reached out his hand, trying to get the paper back. Why does it have to slip that far, anyway?
“Oh my…” Kame uttered when he got the paper. Apparently someone had spilled some water under the table yesterday and forgot to clean it up, and now the paper was half-wet.
But then, what was it? Now the paper was wet, there seemed to be a pattern there. Kame traced the paper’s surface, not just its edge, and there it was - there was definitely something on the paper, and it wasn’t ink. It felt almost… oily? Not exactly oily, but whatever it was that graced the paper, it definitely felt different than how the paper felt. Kame glanced at the envelope again.
Bring me to the light.
Could it be…?
He walked to the window and pulled the curtain aside, letting the sun rays into the room. Then he held the paper against the sunrays, and now he could see clearly the pattern on it. There was a drawing on it, and a line under it. The shape of the drawing seemed to resemble… a turtle? And there was also a fruit apparently. A fruit that looked almost like… an apple? No, not an apple. It looked more like an avocado. Or was it a… pear?
Once upon a time, there was a turtle who really loved a pear, the line under the drawing said.
Kame blinked. What a strange line. It was definitely a pear, then.
He immediately grabbed the envelope and pulled out all its content, careful not to mess its order. Apparently all these papers were connected somehow, and if he combined it all, there would be a full story, just like those story books for children that had some pictures inside them.
He was right. When he held the second paper against the light, it also had some drawing on it. It was still the same turtle and pear, but now there was also a… watermelon? A very big watermelon, at that. If the turtle and the pear were almost the same size, the watermelon was at least four times the turtle’s size.
Came the watermelon. “Let’s be friends,” he said.
In the third paper, there were only the picture of the watermelon and the turtle, but under the watermelon, there seemed to be some remnants of the pear. Kame’s eyebrow shot up. This seemed to be quite interesting.
The watermelon wanted to get closer to the turtle, but he accidentally crushed the pear when he tried to roll over. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it,” he said.
In the fourth paper, the picture was still the same, but somehow the distance between the watermelon and the turtle was longer. Kame compared the paper with the previous one, and he was right. The turtle apparently had taken a step back, while the watermelon remained on its spot. There was no line under it this time.
He picked up the next paper, and held it against the sun rays again. The watermelon was still on the same spot, but the turtle apparently had retreated back to its shell.
“Don’t be afraid,” the watermelon said.
On the next three papers, there was no line, but apparently the watermelon tried to roll over to where the turtle was, but he accidentally stepped on the edge of the shell and unintentionally knocked it backwards, far away from its original place, and certainly also farther away from the watermelon. There were some sound effects around the shell on the last paper, perhaps to emphasize its fall.
On the next one, the watermelon tried to get closer again.
“I’m sorry.” He said.
“Wow, the watermelon must be quite stubborn,” Kame mused amusedly.
He shifted through the papers to find the next one. There, the picture was still the same, but the distance between the watermelon and the turtle was shorter.
“Please come out, Turtle-chan.” He said. “I didn’t mean to hurt you by crushing your pear. I’m sorry,”
The next paper showed the same picture, with the addition of shaking effect around the watermelon.
“Turtle-chan, Turtle-chan, don’t be afraid, I won’t hurt you. Come on, come out and play together!”
Kame frowned. The story felt familiar somehow… he continued to shift through the papers for the next picture. It showed the same thing with the previous paper, but in this picture, the watermelon seemed to be… crying? There were some droplets of water running down its side, while the turtle remained unchanged.
“Turtle-chan, I’m so, so very sorry,” he cried. “I’m so sorry. It won’t happen again, so please come out of your shell,” the watermelon kept crying.
In the next paper, the picture remained the same, with the watermelon still crying, but now there was also a box on top of the turtle’s shell that showed the remnants of the pear.
The watermelon cried and cried and cried, but hidden in its shell, the turtle couldn’t see it. The turtle didn’t want to come out because he was afraid the big, bad and evil watermelon would crush him like he did the poor pear.
There were only two papers left. On the first before the last paper, the watermelon was still crying, and there was a river that flowed down from his tears, while the turtle remained on hiding, although there were also a drop of water on the side of the neck hole of the shell. It seemed that the turtle also cried, but only in discreet.
The watermelon kept on crying, because he didn’t know how to get Turtle-chan out of his shell. The turtle kept on hiding, because the sight of the watermelon still frightened him and never left him alone.
The End.
Kame stared at the paper in disbelief. “What?! You can’t just end it there! There has to be a proper ending!” he complained to none in particular. Who was the writer, anyway? He knew he recognized the writing, but he couldn’t remember whose it was. Because it was in KAT-TUN’s dressing room, perhaps the author was Maru? Or Ueda? It definitely couldn’t be Koki or Junno. And why the hell would anyone write such a depressing story?
Wait, there was still one paper left.
Anxiously, he lifted the paper and carefully held it against the sun’s blinding rays, closing his eyes while he did so. Like if he closed his eyes, perhaps an alternative ending of the story would miraculously appear before his eyes.
Slowly, very slowly, he opened his eyes, and instantly his heart stopped.
There, on the last paper, there was no picture or drawing or anything that related to the story whatsoever. Instead, there was a single line:
Kazu-chan, I’m sorry.
His heart began to race, and he stared at it for a long, long time, unblinking.
Then he started to shift through the papers again and held them one by one against the light, carefully examining the writings there. When he got to the last paper again, he held it up above his head, and the sun rays that shone through it made the writing stand out even more.
How could he forget it? He knew he should have recognized that scrawny handwriting anywhere. It was unmistakably Jin’s.
Jin.
He stared at it some more. Was Jin trying to apologize to him? And the story… Did Jin illustrate himself as the Watermelon, and he as the turtle?
Then he looked around the room, and spotted the small turtle plushie on the table. He looked back and forth between the plushie and the stack of papers, and couldn’t help letting out a rueful little laugh, leaning in to the wall for support.
“Jin, you really are a baka, aren’t you?” he said, burying his face on his hands and rubbing his eyes furiously. “And always, always so surprising… This is why I always - this is why I can’t - “ he stopped short and looked at the ceiling of the room.
Kazu-chan, I’m sorry.
He immediately grabbed the papers and exited the room in a hurry. He needed to find Jin.
*
To the next part, because LJ cut me