[HikaNoo, DaiNoo] Kill me if you love me - Oneshot
Title: Kill me if you love me
Author: Yaya
Pairing: Hikanoo, Dainoo, Inoo-centric
Rating: R, NC-17
Genre: Angst, CD, BD, NC, Darkfic
Summary: I can't write summaries...
Note: I'm so sorry about this! I don't know if it was a good idea to post it...I just had a really bad day and needed to do something. And because I'm a good little girl, I'm only doing this in a fic, not in reality... Minna, please excuse the crap I always write and my fail English... I know there are mistakes, I'm sorry about them.
[Dai-chan... Please... If you really love me... Please... Kill me.]His tears vanished when he slowly reached out for the knife that lay in front of him. His eyes fixed on the blade that was already red from dried blood, he took a hold of the knife with his right hand and slowly put the sharp side of the blade onto his left wrist. Applying little pressure, he felt the metal breaking his skin before he pulled at it, making it dig deeper into his flesh. His eyes on the new cut on his arm, he smiled slightly as he watched fresh blood flowing constantly out of the wound. He sighed when he pressed against the slash, enjoying the pain that made him forget the pain in his heart. Yes, Inoo Kei, the pretty, shy, nice boy liked hurting himself. No one was aware of it. Of course, sometimes they asked him why there were scars and wounds on his left arm, but he would always make up some excuse like rescuing a cat from a tree or being clumsy in the kitchen. Those were really silly excuses... The more he was shocked (and relived of course) when everybody believed him. Somehow he wanted them to notice ... But he just couldn't destroy the image he had built up for school. There, he was used to be shy yet cheerful and friendly, with good grades without being better than everyone. Sometimes he really wanted to be like this, but the higher he flew the deeper he fell again. His parents too were totally oblivious to his psychical condition. Of course they were, since it were the fights with them that got Inoo down that much. They were always "concern" about every little thing, without seeing what they were doing. They kept telling him what he had to do and what he shouldn't do, annoying the boy more and more, getting him to do exactly the opposite. They tried to help him without even listening to him or understanding his problems. "We only want the best for you" they kept telling him when they again forbid him to do the things he liked, not hearing his answer: "I know, but I don't want the best for me. I don't deserve it." Inoo felt bad for worrying everybody, but he couldn't help it, otherwise they would never stop 'helping' him. He just wanted to live his life how he wanted, not how he should.
"Inoo Kei! Come here and eat!" he heard the angry voice of his mom shouting. Inoo let out a little laugh and looked again at the red slash on his arm where the blood already dried. He would never obey again. He smirked and pulled down the long sleeve of his black shirt. Quietly he walked down the stairs, passing by the kitchen where his siblings were chatting happily with their parents. He silently bid them goodbye, making sure that they will be able to go on without him. Then he put on his shoes and his jacket and stepped out of his house.
He was wandering around about an hour when he finally reached the place where all of this had started, the place where he would erase his guilt by giving his life.
***one year ago***
Angrily kicking the stones that lay on the way, Inoo went home. He didn't really want to go home since he wasn't allowed to do anything there. He sighed and was just about to bang his head against the nearest wall when he heard a cry. Silently he went to the corner of the wall, peeping into the dark alley that lay behind it. There he saw a group of young men crowding around a boy. While Inoo watched, they knocked the boy onto the wall behind him before they forced him onto his knees. One of the men held the guy up on his hair while another one got closely in front of him. Then the latter unbuckled and unzipped his pants, getting his cock out and pushing it in front of the kneeling boys lips. A forceful punch was thrown at the boy's face, knocking him over before he got pulled up by the man behind him again. This time, the older man succeeded in pushing his cock into the youngers mouth. At an instant he started pushing his hips into the boy's mouth while he again punched the face of his victim. At each punch the rest of the group cheered and howled, enjoying the pain of their leader's victim. They raised their voices for a last howl when their leader threw a final punch after releasing inside the boys mouth, knocking him onto the ground. Each of them kicked the helpless guy on the ground one more time before they got lost. Inoo got out from his hiding place. The boy looked awful: his hair and clothes were messy, strained with blood, cum and tears, his hands were cut because of his falls. Inoo was about to approach the guy to help him when he suddenly heared footsteps coming from the direction where the men had disappeared before. He panicked, not wanting to end up like the guy on the ground, and took a few steps back, his eyes still glued on the boy. He noticed that his eyes were open and he heard the others plead: "W-wait ... D-don't ... Go... P-ple-please ... Help ... Me..." Then laughter were heard and without thinking twice, Inoo turned and ran.
***
When he thought back to this today, Inoo couldn't understand his actions anymore. There wasn't one single day that he didn't think of himself as a murder because he didn't help the guy. Not one single day that he didn't tell himself that he didn't deserve to live a good life because he didn't do anything to save an innocent life. Not one single day that he didn't wish they had gotten him instead of the other boy.
Footsteps and howls brought him out of his thoughts. Before he could move a single finger, he felt someone grabbing him, turning him him around and banging him against the wall, exactly where the other guy had been banged on before. Then the guy in front of him grabbed his chin, forcing him to look up. Inoo stiffened when he recognized the guy. And it seemed like the latter recognized him as well. "Aren't you the one who ran away when you could have helped a helpless creature? Did you come to pay for your failure?" "I don't have anything to pay with, but my life. I'm willing to give this to you" Inoo replied. Anger flashed through the other one's eyes. "It's not that easy. You have a lot to pay me." With this words, the guy pinned him harshly against the wall as he began to rip off Inoo's clothes.
Inoo didn't struggle. The only thought that played in his head was: 'I deserve this. It was me who made him into this.'
The guy finished stripping him and motioned to one of his friends to hold Inoo so that he he could watch him closely. Now Inoo was naked in front of the guy whom he didn't help at his darkest hour, his arms tightly hold behind his back by one of the other's friends.
"You are really beautiful..." the guy said while tracing his fingers from Inoo's temple over his cheek and his lips down to his jawline and further over his neck to his collarbone and his chest.
"What's your name?" he suddenly asked, withdrawing his hands from Kei's body.
"Inoo Kei..." Inoo choked out.
"What a pity, Kei, that I always have to destroy beauty... just like they destroyed the beauty of my soul..."
He closed the distance between them as he whispered into Inoo's ear: "I'm Yaotome Hikaru... Remember that... the name of the one you turned into a monster... the monster that destroyed your beauty..."
With the last word Inoo felt something cool against his collarbone. A knife. Hikaru withdrew, moving the knife down. A red cut appeared on Kei's milk white chest, straining Kei's skin. Inoo winced, his knees buckling. He looked down to hide the pain inside his eyes, but Hikaru had other plans. "I want you to look into my eyes" he said, putting the tip of the knife under Inoo's chin, lifting it up.
When the boy looked into his eyes, he moved the blade downwards, traveling it down the guy's chest and abs to his inner tight, hardly missing his crotch, leaving a slight bloody line before he cut Kei's inner tight.
Now the pain was too much to bear for Inoo, his knees gave up and he fell to the floor, his wight too much for the other man to hold him up.
Yaotome bent down to the boy who was lifelessly lying on the ground: "Is this already too much for little Kei? But this was just the beginning of our little playtime, ne?" he said while stripping himself off his clothes. He kicked the boy on the ground and yelled: "Get up! Or should my friends help you?" Kei groaned and winced but somehow he managed to get onto his knees with his back against the wall.
"See, we aren't finished yet..."
With this words, Hikaru shoved his entire length into Inoo's mouth. "Suck."
When Inoo didn't react, Hikaru slapped his face and grabbed his hair, bobbing the other boy's head up and down his member. As soon as his hands stopped pushing, Inoo's head stopped moving.
Angrily Hikaru pulled himself out of Inoo and punched his face, knocking him down again. "Shattered again? I didn't even start the main act!"
Hikaru laughed while he settled behind Inoo. He pulled the boy's waist up, positioned himself in front of his entrance and with one hard push sent his entire length inside the petit boy's hole, splitting him open.
Inoo screamed when he felt himself being split open. He knew the feeling already since he had slept with his boyfriend a few times. It had always hurt although Daiki had always prepared him before, but this pain had been nothing compared to the pain he was feeling right now.
Inoo could also feel blood leaking out of his broken hole. But it still wasn't over. Inoo could sense Hikaru thrusting viciously into him, breaking him even more everytime he violently pushed back in while hitting Inoo's back with his fists.
Hikaru quickened his pace, shoving himself hard and fast into the broken boy when he felt his peak nearing. Right when Inoo was about to faint, Hikaru thrusted himself as deep as possible into Inoo before he came, hitting the boy's back one more time before he withdrew himself from Inoo, letting the boy fall to the ground, lifeless.
Hikaru stood up and got dressed again, then he scrunched down beside the boy's head. "So how does it feel? Abandoned, alone, abused? Pray to die quickly" he said, getting up. He kicked the boy one last time, then he and his friends got lost.
He didn't know how long he had been lying there, covered in blood, his entire body aching like hell, but not enough to let him drift into the black oblivion of unconsciousness, until he heard footsteps approaching him and someone hovered over him. The shocked gasp that was heard made him look up to the person who was kneeling next to him. It was none other than Daiki, his boyfriend. "Kei-chan!"
Daiki's voice cracked, seeing the one he loved the most lying there, covered in blood and nearly unconscious because of pain.
"Dai-chan..."
Inoo's voice was barely more than a whisper, but Daiki heard him.
"Please ... Dai-chan ... make me forget this ... Daiki..."
"I love you, Kei-chan... I promise, everything will be fine ... I will make you forget this..." Daiki assured him while he gently lied Inoo on his back, his head in his lap.
They looked into each other's eyes.
"I love you Kei-chan..."
Silently, tears were dropping out of Daiki's eyes.
"Dai-chan ... please... if you really love me ... please ... kill me..."
Daiki looked into Kei's eyes, he saw the shattered soul of the boy he loved and slowly nodded. His hand moved to his pocket where he always had a knife, just in case.
His tears still flowing down from his eyes, he let the blade spring free and lifted it over his lover's chest.
"I love you Kei-chan..."
With those words he stabbed his lover's heart.
"I love you too, Dai-chan..." Kei whispered before he closed his eyes.
Daiki withdrew the blade from Kei's chest.
"I love you Kei... And I will always be by your side" he said, then he stabbed his own chest.
The blood that flew from their wounds mixed together and as their lives were already gone, the two of them lay there in this dark alley, side by side, killed by the same weapon.
And as slowly the painful night began to vanish and the first golden shimmer of the new day arose, snow began to fall and covered them with his white sheets.
Author: Yaya
Pairing: Hikanoo, Dainoo, Inoo-centric
Rating: R, NC-17
Genre: Angst, CD, BD, NC, Darkfic
Summary: I can't write summaries...
Note: I'm so sorry about this! I don't know if it was a good idea to post it...I just had a really bad day and needed to do something. And because I'm a good little girl, I'm only doing this in a fic, not in reality... Minna, please excuse the crap I always write and my fail English... I know there are mistakes, I'm sorry about them.
[Dai-chan... Please... If you really love me... Please... Kill me.]His tears vanished when he slowly reached out for the knife that lay in front of him. His eyes fixed on the blade that was already red from dried blood, he took a hold of the knife with his right hand and slowly put the sharp side of the blade onto his left wrist. Applying little pressure, he felt the metal breaking his skin before he pulled at it, making it dig deeper into his flesh. His eyes on the new cut on his arm, he smiled slightly as he watched fresh blood flowing constantly out of the wound. He sighed when he pressed against the slash, enjoying the pain that made him forget the pain in his heart. Yes, Inoo Kei, the pretty, shy, nice boy liked hurting himself. No one was aware of it. Of course, sometimes they asked him why there were scars and wounds on his left arm, but he would always make up some excuse like rescuing a cat from a tree or being clumsy in the kitchen. Those were really silly excuses... The more he was shocked (and relived of course) when everybody believed him. Somehow he wanted them to notice ... But he just couldn't destroy the image he had built up for school. There, he was used to be shy yet cheerful and friendly, with good grades without being better than everyone. Sometimes he really wanted to be like this, but the higher he flew the deeper he fell again. His parents too were totally oblivious to his psychical condition. Of course they were, since it were the fights with them that got Inoo down that much. They were always "concern" about every little thing, without seeing what they were doing. They kept telling him what he had to do and what he shouldn't do, annoying the boy more and more, getting him to do exactly the opposite. They tried to help him without even listening to him or understanding his problems. "We only want the best for you" they kept telling him when they again forbid him to do the things he liked, not hearing his answer: "I know, but I don't want the best for me. I don't deserve it." Inoo felt bad for worrying everybody, but he couldn't help it, otherwise they would never stop 'helping' him. He just wanted to live his life how he wanted, not how he should.
"Inoo Kei! Come here and eat!" he heard the angry voice of his mom shouting. Inoo let out a little laugh and looked again at the red slash on his arm where the blood already dried. He would never obey again. He smirked and pulled down the long sleeve of his black shirt. Quietly he walked down the stairs, passing by the kitchen where his siblings were chatting happily with their parents. He silently bid them goodbye, making sure that they will be able to go on without him. Then he put on his shoes and his jacket and stepped out of his house.
He was wandering around about an hour when he finally reached the place where all of this had started, the place where he would erase his guilt by giving his life.
***one year ago***
Angrily kicking the stones that lay on the way, Inoo went home. He didn't really want to go home since he wasn't allowed to do anything there. He sighed and was just about to bang his head against the nearest wall when he heard a cry. Silently he went to the corner of the wall, peeping into the dark alley that lay behind it. There he saw a group of young men crowding around a boy. While Inoo watched, they knocked the boy onto the wall behind him before they forced him onto his knees. One of the men held the guy up on his hair while another one got closely in front of him. Then the latter unbuckled and unzipped his pants, getting his cock out and pushing it in front of the kneeling boys lips. A forceful punch was thrown at the boy's face, knocking him over before he got pulled up by the man behind him again. This time, the older man succeeded in pushing his cock into the youngers mouth. At an instant he started pushing his hips into the boy's mouth while he again punched the face of his victim. At each punch the rest of the group cheered and howled, enjoying the pain of their leader's victim. They raised their voices for a last howl when their leader threw a final punch after releasing inside the boys mouth, knocking him onto the ground. Each of them kicked the helpless guy on the ground one more time before they got lost. Inoo got out from his hiding place. The boy looked awful: his hair and clothes were messy, strained with blood, cum and tears, his hands were cut because of his falls. Inoo was about to approach the guy to help him when he suddenly heared footsteps coming from the direction where the men had disappeared before. He panicked, not wanting to end up like the guy on the ground, and took a few steps back, his eyes still glued on the boy. He noticed that his eyes were open and he heard the others plead: "W-wait ... D-don't ... Go... P-ple-please ... Help ... Me..." Then laughter were heard and without thinking twice, Inoo turned and ran.
***
When he thought back to this today, Inoo couldn't understand his actions anymore. There wasn't one single day that he didn't think of himself as a murder because he didn't help the guy. Not one single day that he didn't tell himself that he didn't deserve to live a good life because he didn't do anything to save an innocent life. Not one single day that he didn't wish they had gotten him instead of the other boy.
Footsteps and howls brought him out of his thoughts. Before he could move a single finger, he felt someone grabbing him, turning him him around and banging him against the wall, exactly where the other guy had been banged on before. Then the guy in front of him grabbed his chin, forcing him to look up. Inoo stiffened when he recognized the guy. And it seemed like the latter recognized him as well. "Aren't you the one who ran away when you could have helped a helpless creature? Did you come to pay for your failure?" "I don't have anything to pay with, but my life. I'm willing to give this to you" Inoo replied. Anger flashed through the other one's eyes. "It's not that easy. You have a lot to pay me." With this words, the guy pinned him harshly against the wall as he began to rip off Inoo's clothes.
Inoo didn't struggle. The only thought that played in his head was: 'I deserve this. It was me who made him into this.'
The guy finished stripping him and motioned to one of his friends to hold Inoo so that he he could watch him closely. Now Inoo was naked in front of the guy whom he didn't help at his darkest hour, his arms tightly hold behind his back by one of the other's friends.
"You are really beautiful..." the guy said while tracing his fingers from Inoo's temple over his cheek and his lips down to his jawline and further over his neck to his collarbone and his chest.
"What's your name?" he suddenly asked, withdrawing his hands from Kei's body.
"Inoo Kei..." Inoo choked out.
"What a pity, Kei, that I always have to destroy beauty... just like they destroyed the beauty of my soul..."
He closed the distance between them as he whispered into Inoo's ear: "I'm Yaotome Hikaru... Remember that... the name of the one you turned into a monster... the monster that destroyed your beauty..."
With the last word Inoo felt something cool against his collarbone. A knife. Hikaru withdrew, moving the knife down. A red cut appeared on Kei's milk white chest, straining Kei's skin. Inoo winced, his knees buckling. He looked down to hide the pain inside his eyes, but Hikaru had other plans. "I want you to look into my eyes" he said, putting the tip of the knife under Inoo's chin, lifting it up.
When the boy looked into his eyes, he moved the blade downwards, traveling it down the guy's chest and abs to his inner tight, hardly missing his crotch, leaving a slight bloody line before he cut Kei's inner tight.
Now the pain was too much to bear for Inoo, his knees gave up and he fell to the floor, his wight too much for the other man to hold him up.
Yaotome bent down to the boy who was lifelessly lying on the ground: "Is this already too much for little Kei? But this was just the beginning of our little playtime, ne?" he said while stripping himself off his clothes. He kicked the boy on the ground and yelled: "Get up! Or should my friends help you?" Kei groaned and winced but somehow he managed to get onto his knees with his back against the wall.
"See, we aren't finished yet..."
With this words, Hikaru shoved his entire length into Inoo's mouth. "Suck."
When Inoo didn't react, Hikaru slapped his face and grabbed his hair, bobbing the other boy's head up and down his member. As soon as his hands stopped pushing, Inoo's head stopped moving.
Angrily Hikaru pulled himself out of Inoo and punched his face, knocking him down again. "Shattered again? I didn't even start the main act!"
Hikaru laughed while he settled behind Inoo. He pulled the boy's waist up, positioned himself in front of his entrance and with one hard push sent his entire length inside the petit boy's hole, splitting him open.
Inoo screamed when he felt himself being split open. He knew the feeling already since he had slept with his boyfriend a few times. It had always hurt although Daiki had always prepared him before, but this pain had been nothing compared to the pain he was feeling right now.
Inoo could also feel blood leaking out of his broken hole. But it still wasn't over. Inoo could sense Hikaru thrusting viciously into him, breaking him even more everytime he violently pushed back in while hitting Inoo's back with his fists.
Hikaru quickened his pace, shoving himself hard and fast into the broken boy when he felt his peak nearing. Right when Inoo was about to faint, Hikaru thrusted himself as deep as possible into Inoo before he came, hitting the boy's back one more time before he withdrew himself from Inoo, letting the boy fall to the ground, lifeless.
Hikaru stood up and got dressed again, then he scrunched down beside the boy's head. "So how does it feel? Abandoned, alone, abused? Pray to die quickly" he said, getting up. He kicked the boy one last time, then he and his friends got lost.
He didn't know how long he had been lying there, covered in blood, his entire body aching like hell, but not enough to let him drift into the black oblivion of unconsciousness, until he heard footsteps approaching him and someone hovered over him. The shocked gasp that was heard made him look up to the person who was kneeling next to him. It was none other than Daiki, his boyfriend. "Kei-chan!"
Daiki's voice cracked, seeing the one he loved the most lying there, covered in blood and nearly unconscious because of pain.
"Dai-chan..."
Inoo's voice was barely more than a whisper, but Daiki heard him.
"Please ... Dai-chan ... make me forget this ... Daiki..."
"I love you, Kei-chan... I promise, everything will be fine ... I will make you forget this..." Daiki assured him while he gently lied Inoo on his back, his head in his lap.
They looked into each other's eyes.
"I love you Kei-chan..."
Silently, tears were dropping out of Daiki's eyes.
"Dai-chan ... please... if you really love me ... please ... kill me..."
Daiki looked into Kei's eyes, he saw the shattered soul of the boy he loved and slowly nodded. His hand moved to his pocket where he always had a knife, just in case.
His tears still flowing down from his eyes, he let the blade spring free and lifted it over his lover's chest.
"I love you Kei-chan..."
With those words he stabbed his lover's heart.
"I love you too, Dai-chan..." Kei whispered before he closed his eyes.
Daiki withdrew the blade from Kei's chest.
"I love you Kei... And I will always be by your side" he said, then he stabbed his own chest.
The blood that flew from their wounds mixed together and as their lives were already gone, the two of them lay there in this dark alley, side by side, killed by the same weapon.
And as slowly the painful night began to vanish and the first golden shimmer of the new day arose, snow began to fall and covered them with his white sheets.