Another week...
So, It's a week since I updated again. Quite a bit has happened I suppose!
I went back to work on Monday and all seems to be going ok there. I found out why Nicola has ben on edge recently on Friday... when she handed me a picture of her 11 week ultrasound. Aww!! I like, cried, actually, I was a bit shocked. It was a *hands flying to face* moment. But anyway, she's having a baby, and all is good again now. That's eased things off a bit cause I know it wasn't personal, which is a big thing. And I'm not jealous of her 'perfect' 'incredibly happy relationship, supportive nearby family, going well so far pregnancy' life, either. Honest*.
Tania brought baby Charlie in to work on thursday as well. He's gorgeous. I know babies aren't everyone's thing but seriously, he is. He has the most enormous eyes and just kept staring round at everyone, and at all the lights in the office, just seemed amazed by it all. He's so big as well! So much bigger than you'd expect for a 4 week old! I didn't hold him though, I couldn't. Luckily no one just handed him to me. Claire did say just after Tania went "Do you not want one then Emma", Heh all I said was "right now I have no frigging choice". Its like when Lianne asked me if I wanted to speak to Abbie yesterday and I just said "I don't think it's a good idea right now" (sorry Lianne, it wasn't personal...) I just can't. I don't want anything to make me worse than I already am. I've accepted now that it's gonna be a hella long time before I can have kids, if I ever can (don't mean to be pessimistic, but...), so like, I'm just trying to distance myself from it. It's so damn hard, and no pisser that I know gets it, at all. Most people I know don't want kids EVER, never mind like, this second. Andrew told me last night that he doesn't think that if I had kids no that I'd make a good mum. He explained it, apparently I'm not mature enough, but it upset me. I have to stop thinking about it anyway because I have no choice, and even if I did have a choice the situation isn't right. I just have to ignore my brain atm. Pain in the frigging arse
So apart from that this week, I have been out for a drink with peoples and been to see Borat with Fee, James and Andrew. I was mightily disappointed by it actually, there were a few funny parts, but on the whole I didn't really enjoy it much at all, which was a shame, but never mind! Apart from that I've not done much! Friday on my way home I bought a new belt and also Singstar legeneds, which was much fun to play on on Friday night. It's a lot more difficult than the other singstar one we have though... me and Andrew have high scores on about an equal number of things though I'd say!
Yesterday I went to London for a VR meet. It was weird cause there were more people I'd never met before at this one than there have been at any for years. It was an immense day though, if a little disorganised. Andrew reckons I got shy... he says he's never seen me that quiet before :p It's quite strange really. There were people there though that I've wanted to meet for YEARS (namely Mark and Sam), and then some who I wanted to meet anyway who I just haven't known for as long... as well as those I'd met before and was wanting to see again, and everyone was ace. But I got shy. Dammit :p
Anyway, it was a good day, and I took everyone to Cyber candy and got more chocolate. It's ace.
So today I've put my laundry on and put a load on pics on my computer. Later I'll be stripping wallpaper and tidying up. Possibly. I have 2 weekends after this one before I'll be moving and one of them Mark might well (hopefully is) staying, so ummm, it's this weekend and next. Ace.
*some of this statement may be a lie...
OH! AND! I'm going to look at 2 flats this week :D:D:D I'll keep everyone posted on that no doubt, it's rather exciting :D
I went back to work on Monday and all seems to be going ok there. I found out why Nicola has ben on edge recently on Friday... when she handed me a picture of her 11 week ultrasound. Aww!! I like, cried, actually, I was a bit shocked. It was a *hands flying to face* moment. But anyway, she's having a baby, and all is good again now. That's eased things off a bit cause I know it wasn't personal, which is a big thing. And I'm not jealous of her 'perfect' 'incredibly happy relationship, supportive nearby family, going well so far pregnancy' life, either. Honest*.
Tania brought baby Charlie in to work on thursday as well. He's gorgeous. I know babies aren't everyone's thing but seriously, he is. He has the most enormous eyes and just kept staring round at everyone, and at all the lights in the office, just seemed amazed by it all. He's so big as well! So much bigger than you'd expect for a 4 week old! I didn't hold him though, I couldn't. Luckily no one just handed him to me. Claire did say just after Tania went "Do you not want one then Emma", Heh all I said was "right now I have no frigging choice". Its like when Lianne asked me if I wanted to speak to Abbie yesterday and I just said "I don't think it's a good idea right now" (sorry Lianne, it wasn't personal...) I just can't. I don't want anything to make me worse than I already am. I've accepted now that it's gonna be a hella long time before I can have kids, if I ever can (don't mean to be pessimistic, but...), so like, I'm just trying to distance myself from it. It's so damn hard, and no pisser that I know gets it, at all. Most people I know don't want kids EVER, never mind like, this second. Andrew told me last night that he doesn't think that if I had kids no that I'd make a good mum. He explained it, apparently I'm not mature enough, but it upset me. I have to stop thinking about it anyway because I have no choice, and even if I did have a choice the situation isn't right. I just have to ignore my brain atm. Pain in the frigging arse
So apart from that this week, I have been out for a drink with peoples and been to see Borat with Fee, James and Andrew. I was mightily disappointed by it actually, there were a few funny parts, but on the whole I didn't really enjoy it much at all, which was a shame, but never mind! Apart from that I've not done much! Friday on my way home I bought a new belt and also Singstar legeneds, which was much fun to play on on Friday night. It's a lot more difficult than the other singstar one we have though... me and Andrew have high scores on about an equal number of things though I'd say!
Yesterday I went to London for a VR meet. It was weird cause there were more people I'd never met before at this one than there have been at any for years. It was an immense day though, if a little disorganised. Andrew reckons I got shy... he says he's never seen me that quiet before :p It's quite strange really. There were people there though that I've wanted to meet for YEARS (namely Mark and Sam), and then some who I wanted to meet anyway who I just haven't known for as long... as well as those I'd met before and was wanting to see again, and everyone was ace. But I got shy. Dammit :p
Anyway, it was a good day, and I took everyone to Cyber candy and got more chocolate. It's ace.
So today I've put my laundry on and put a load on pics on my computer. Later I'll be stripping wallpaper and tidying up. Possibly. I have 2 weekends after this one before I'll be moving and one of them Mark might well (hopefully is) staying, so ummm, it's this weekend and next. Ace.
*some of this statement may be a lie...
OH! AND! I'm going to look at 2 flats this week :D:D:D I'll keep everyone posted on that no doubt, it's rather exciting :D