May 07, 2012 17:42
2008. I was broken. No, I was shattered. Everyday was a nightmare. I had to pick up all the pieces and try to put myself back together but there was so much of me that I lost that I was forced to paste pieces of my alter ego instead, in the hopes that I will become stronger. I walked a very thin line between the real me and that alter ego, but for the sake of getting through those painful days, I allowed my alter ego to take over and hide my weak self.
Mid-2009. It took me quite a while before I was finally able to balance the two conflicting characters enough to create an entirely new me, one who would no longer allow anyone to step on me and take advantage of my weaknesses.
Two and a half years later, a combo of critical hits managed to break that shield of mine so hard that I am now again in pieces.
I'm back in the dark. It's so familiar it pierces what's left of me, the pain already bringing so much misery even I'm just at it's doorstep.
But I guess that's really where I belong, who I should be. Who I really am. Weak. Meant to be stepped on, bitched around and snapped at.
cruelty