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_dahne_ April 25 2009, 04:12:42 UTC
Do you mean sidewinder?

Also, it's generally bad form to preface a fic by saying it's crap. I fight with that instinct to modesty and self-deprecation too, but when you think about it, it's sort of like handing somebody a plate of cookies and saying, "These are terrible. Have some!" If you really think it's bad, work on it until you get something you're happier with.

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thylatron April 25 2009, 07:07:38 UTC
I say that alot, mostly to keep away potential flamers.

Should I take it out then?

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_dahne_ April 25 2009, 07:36:56 UTC
That's sort of counterproductive. Isn't it more of an open invitation? I'd say it's more effective at keeping out potential readers. We don't really have flamers here; everybody's nice to a fault XD Besides, you used the Ocelot icon, which is a call for crit - but that is, IMHO, always a good thing, and takes some balls. Some people's thresholds for when crit becomes flame is dismayingly low.

Taking it out or not is your call.

On to a couple things in the story itself.

"Minute" and "minuet" are not interchangeable. Really.

You've got the common problem with quotations. You've got most of them ended with a comma, which is correct, but then you have a capital letter, which isn't. A few of them still end with a period, too.

“So, I’d get up and start getting ready if I were you.” She told him

should be

“So, I’d get up and start getting ready if I were you,” she told himIt's one of those things that you don't notice until you start writing or see it done wrong. If you forget, just grab whatever book is nearby and flip til you ( ... )

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thylatron April 26 2009, 06:20:38 UTC
Thanks for pointing out those errors. I'll set to work fixing those.

Just one question: Where was the Minuet/Minute error? I feel like a dork asking that, but I can't find it.

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thylatron April 25 2009, 07:09:13 UTC
You never know, he just might...;)

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thylatron April 26 2009, 06:08:31 UTC
That didn't make sense? I guess that's what I get for typing at 2 in the morning.

Yes, I do need a Beta, bur finding one for a small Fandom like this is pretty hard. Oh well, that won't stop my search.

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