Catching Up
Well..... Its been a while. This is long overdue. So much has changed, I don't even remember where I was at which point to know what I did and didn't update last.
Here's the rundown of the last 8 months...
I know I posted about losing my job. That was a relief and allowed me to focus on other things. It was a much needed separation that I am now grateful for. More on that soon.
E and I found a place to live that is beautiful, though a stretch for our budget. There really isn't much that would cost any less that I could be content in, plus keep the horse. We'd be paying near $1000.00 for a small apartment, and I'd still have to find somewhere to keep the horse. He could have stayed at the other barn, but we were lucky enough to find this place. The house is a nice size, 3 bedrooms, 1 bath, and I have a 7 stall barn I can do what I please with, including renting it out to other boarders, in order to reduce the rent. I didn't have to think twice about taking it. E was really skeptical, and worried about how it would all work, but I trusted that it was the right move. I convinced a friend of mine to bring her three horses along, and she thought of another friend that wanted to move her horse, so I kept Storm plus 4 other horses there with us for the first 6 months.
Also in that time I found a little organic farm down the road and began helping. S, my "farm boss" is AWESOME, and I adore working for him and with him. Its exactly what I've wanted to explore, and I'm getting paid a little bit to do it. He gives me pretty much whatever food I want, including home grown chickens, and I thoroughly enjoy being there. Its only 2 1/2 miles away from the house, so its easy to get to and plenty convenient.
Fall rolled around, and both of the girls decided they needed to explore other options for boarding their horses for their own personal reasons. It ended fine, though I still am not emotionally over the issues of their leaving. I spent most of the winter depressed and struggling with self worth and feeling like a failure. None of these things are especially true, but the body and mind will twist things easily. Its not as simple as just changing your mind, and depression is a natural course of action in and of itself, though people tend not to treat it that way. And so I've struggled and waited.
In trolling Craigslist for jobs, I happened to find an ad for my old company for a front desk person at the two satellite offices. I dropped a note to the girl I was still friends with working in the office, and mentioned it to her, she recommended I email the new boss (my former coworker). I did and eventually he got back to me that he'd like to hire me to do my old job rather than hire me to work the front desk. It took over a month to finally hear from him and set up a meeting, but now I am back in the office one day per week. It gives me some consistent income and an "official" job I can list on paperwork for various reasons. I wasn't unhappy doing the work I was doing, I was unhappy with the toxic energy in the office and the direction the management was going. The new guy said a lot of good things when I first spoke with him, and genuinely sounded relieved that I was coming back. The things that I had been doing had virtually stopped getting done in my absence so he had 7 months to stew and think about the value that I held with the company. Now I can virtually set my own schedule and do what I please time wise and nobody bothers me. Its quite lovely!
J and I are still good friends, and I see him frequently. I'm grateful that I could be blessed with a former partner that is so understanding and only wants to see me happy. He has struggled a bit himself, I know, but he is also making some really great changes in his life. I'm thrilled to be a part of his life still as a friend. I didn't love him for all those years and suddenly wake up one day to decide that I don't care for him anymore. I still do love him in a way, and am glad our relationship is still a very positive one. He's let me lean on him still, which is helping to keep me afloat financially right now.
E and I are doing fantastically, I keep falling more in love with him every day. I'm silly stupid giddy happy, despite our financial stresses, which is the source of 95% of our stress. He was able to get hired at the same company that J works for, and is much happier, though no richer, yet. I know he will rise quickly in the company and look forward to his continued success. He's still adapting to the harder work of being in a warehouse, but is happier with the hours and general attitude of the work place. A positive attitude makes all the difference in the world.
I will be receiving my first official new boarder tomorrow. I'm a bit nervous about how this will all go because the mare is 29 years old and has a laundry list of ailments. She's still quite well and kicking, I can tell just by looking at her, but her time is growing shorter. I had one of those annoying nudges from my intuition that I suspect she will never leave our farm. This will be her last place, and I am meant to hold space with her until her death. I only hope that it is in the distant future with plenty of time for her owner to learn to trust me. I've had to handle her owner with kid gloves, and am concerned that I'll have to do the same for the horse. Hopefully it won't be too much of a struggle and she will settle in smoothly and easily here. She certainly has a beautiful place to spend her final days.
There are a few other folks on the burner, but no commitments yet.
Our other business venture has been building hay feeders for horses. E constructed a really awesome feeder for us, and we threw it up on craigslist and got a great response. We have delivered 3 (though 2 still need nets), have one more to deliver, and one more order. It is sucking up a lot of E's spare time, which he is not happy about, but it is making a wee bit of money in between the other things. Every little bit is helping at this point.
That is about all that I can think of that has happened in the last 8 months since things went to hell in a hand basket... That's the big important stuff anyway. This winter has been long, cold (record breaking cold, no really), and snowy. The snow has probably kept me sane because I'm still amused when it falls. That's what growing up in the south will do to you. Its still a novelty to me, even after 12 years in Maryland.
I'll try not to be too much of a stranger and update a little more often.
Here's the rundown of the last 8 months...
I know I posted about losing my job. That was a relief and allowed me to focus on other things. It was a much needed separation that I am now grateful for. More on that soon.
E and I found a place to live that is beautiful, though a stretch for our budget. There really isn't much that would cost any less that I could be content in, plus keep the horse. We'd be paying near $1000.00 for a small apartment, and I'd still have to find somewhere to keep the horse. He could have stayed at the other barn, but we were lucky enough to find this place. The house is a nice size, 3 bedrooms, 1 bath, and I have a 7 stall barn I can do what I please with, including renting it out to other boarders, in order to reduce the rent. I didn't have to think twice about taking it. E was really skeptical, and worried about how it would all work, but I trusted that it was the right move. I convinced a friend of mine to bring her three horses along, and she thought of another friend that wanted to move her horse, so I kept Storm plus 4 other horses there with us for the first 6 months.
Also in that time I found a little organic farm down the road and began helping. S, my "farm boss" is AWESOME, and I adore working for him and with him. Its exactly what I've wanted to explore, and I'm getting paid a little bit to do it. He gives me pretty much whatever food I want, including home grown chickens, and I thoroughly enjoy being there. Its only 2 1/2 miles away from the house, so its easy to get to and plenty convenient.
Fall rolled around, and both of the girls decided they needed to explore other options for boarding their horses for their own personal reasons. It ended fine, though I still am not emotionally over the issues of their leaving. I spent most of the winter depressed and struggling with self worth and feeling like a failure. None of these things are especially true, but the body and mind will twist things easily. Its not as simple as just changing your mind, and depression is a natural course of action in and of itself, though people tend not to treat it that way. And so I've struggled and waited.
In trolling Craigslist for jobs, I happened to find an ad for my old company for a front desk person at the two satellite offices. I dropped a note to the girl I was still friends with working in the office, and mentioned it to her, she recommended I email the new boss (my former coworker). I did and eventually he got back to me that he'd like to hire me to do my old job rather than hire me to work the front desk. It took over a month to finally hear from him and set up a meeting, but now I am back in the office one day per week. It gives me some consistent income and an "official" job I can list on paperwork for various reasons. I wasn't unhappy doing the work I was doing, I was unhappy with the toxic energy in the office and the direction the management was going. The new guy said a lot of good things when I first spoke with him, and genuinely sounded relieved that I was coming back. The things that I had been doing had virtually stopped getting done in my absence so he had 7 months to stew and think about the value that I held with the company. Now I can virtually set my own schedule and do what I please time wise and nobody bothers me. Its quite lovely!
J and I are still good friends, and I see him frequently. I'm grateful that I could be blessed with a former partner that is so understanding and only wants to see me happy. He has struggled a bit himself, I know, but he is also making some really great changes in his life. I'm thrilled to be a part of his life still as a friend. I didn't love him for all those years and suddenly wake up one day to decide that I don't care for him anymore. I still do love him in a way, and am glad our relationship is still a very positive one. He's let me lean on him still, which is helping to keep me afloat financially right now.
E and I are doing fantastically, I keep falling more in love with him every day. I'm silly stupid giddy happy, despite our financial stresses, which is the source of 95% of our stress. He was able to get hired at the same company that J works for, and is much happier, though no richer, yet. I know he will rise quickly in the company and look forward to his continued success. He's still adapting to the harder work of being in a warehouse, but is happier with the hours and general attitude of the work place. A positive attitude makes all the difference in the world.
I will be receiving my first official new boarder tomorrow. I'm a bit nervous about how this will all go because the mare is 29 years old and has a laundry list of ailments. She's still quite well and kicking, I can tell just by looking at her, but her time is growing shorter. I had one of those annoying nudges from my intuition that I suspect she will never leave our farm. This will be her last place, and I am meant to hold space with her until her death. I only hope that it is in the distant future with plenty of time for her owner to learn to trust me. I've had to handle her owner with kid gloves, and am concerned that I'll have to do the same for the horse. Hopefully it won't be too much of a struggle and she will settle in smoothly and easily here. She certainly has a beautiful place to spend her final days.
There are a few other folks on the burner, but no commitments yet.
Our other business venture has been building hay feeders for horses. E constructed a really awesome feeder for us, and we threw it up on craigslist and got a great response. We have delivered 3 (though 2 still need nets), have one more to deliver, and one more order. It is sucking up a lot of E's spare time, which he is not happy about, but it is making a wee bit of money in between the other things. Every little bit is helping at this point.
That is about all that I can think of that has happened in the last 8 months since things went to hell in a hand basket... That's the big important stuff anyway. This winter has been long, cold (record breaking cold, no really), and snowy. The snow has probably kept me sane because I'm still amused when it falls. That's what growing up in the south will do to you. Its still a novelty to me, even after 12 years in Maryland.
I'll try not to be too much of a stranger and update a little more often.