Growth and Change
If we cease to grow and change, then we will die.
And so it continues with life.
J and I have been together for 11 years, this past February, and its been a wonderful 11 years. We've grown together and loved together and met amazing people together. But at this point, we both have come to the realization that our paths are not connected in the same way that they were. The feeling is mutual, and we are both really positive about it. Getting this out in the open has, in my feeling, made us stronger together.
At this point in time there is no way that I could support myself. I don't make enough money to keep my bills paid, and there really isn't any real savings. I am currently in search of another job that can pay me more. I've discovered that my current position actually has a name, Clinical Data Manager, and that I'm making well below the average pay grade for doing what I do.
J is on the verge of getting a raise and/or a new job. His former boss called him and offered him a position with the competitor of his current company, and when the current company found out, they decided to make him a counter offer. He's leaning more toward switching jobs only because the competitor has a FANTASTIC vacation package that his current company just can't compete with. So he's moving onward and upward, and I am so proud of him for that.
He has also been sticking with the gym for the past 2+ months. We've all been working harder in the house to eat better and take our eating seriously. We're back to making smoothies, which makes me happy, and focusing on trying to have more balanced meals. The work he's been putting in has paid off, he lost about 12 lbs in the first month. He was super excited the day he could slide his jeans off without unbuttoning them. He's wearing jeans he hasn't worn in a very long time again, and I know it feels great to him.
As for E and I, we're very much together. I don't know what will happen, I guess I can't promise anyone forever, but at the moment, its absolutely wonderful, and we're happy.
The challenge is the fact that E is living with us, and if J simply moves out I'll end up taking the backlash of having my reputation smeared by what people will be assuming they know about our situation. So right now, we aren't telling anyone. J and I are working together to figure out how to become self sufficient on our own because we are both so dependent on each other. He owns both vehicles, so the Explorer has to be transferred into my name (and inspected again, UGH). There are lots of details of our lives that have to untangled and sorted out. Who gets what and who will need what. We're both really supportive of each other, so this is likely going to happen as smoothly and easily as it ever could. We both don't expect to be able to move any sooner than 6 months, and more likely closer to a year. I don't know how we'll keep it a secret until then, or if we will decide that we should, but at least for now, we feel that it is in our best interest not to say anything. So if you know us on Facebook we ask you to please keep this confidential. Anyone is welcome to drop us messages, we always like hearing from folks of course.
The matter of my parents, I'm not so sure how I'm going to handle that, my mother is beginning to push on wedding details again, and so I don't know what I am going to do to handle her, and the rest of the family for that matter. They've met E, and I know they really like him, so I know that will go over well, when I get to that bridge, but its going to be a while before I admit that to them. I dislike lying, but it is much easier to work through these things in our own time so that we are prepared to handle whatever it is that happens with anyone else.
E is still unemployed, and is still looking for work. I hope for his own sake that he finds something soon. Once he does we'll all be in a little better position to get organized to get out of here.
I'm grateful that we are in a position that we can both move forward through life and be mutually supportive even if our relationship is no longer what it was at one time. Its a beautiful thing that we are able to evolve together and not attempt to hang on to something that no longer serves both of us.
And so it continues with life.
J and I have been together for 11 years, this past February, and its been a wonderful 11 years. We've grown together and loved together and met amazing people together. But at this point, we both have come to the realization that our paths are not connected in the same way that they were. The feeling is mutual, and we are both really positive about it. Getting this out in the open has, in my feeling, made us stronger together.
At this point in time there is no way that I could support myself. I don't make enough money to keep my bills paid, and there really isn't any real savings. I am currently in search of another job that can pay me more. I've discovered that my current position actually has a name, Clinical Data Manager, and that I'm making well below the average pay grade for doing what I do.
J is on the verge of getting a raise and/or a new job. His former boss called him and offered him a position with the competitor of his current company, and when the current company found out, they decided to make him a counter offer. He's leaning more toward switching jobs only because the competitor has a FANTASTIC vacation package that his current company just can't compete with. So he's moving onward and upward, and I am so proud of him for that.
He has also been sticking with the gym for the past 2+ months. We've all been working harder in the house to eat better and take our eating seriously. We're back to making smoothies, which makes me happy, and focusing on trying to have more balanced meals. The work he's been putting in has paid off, he lost about 12 lbs in the first month. He was super excited the day he could slide his jeans off without unbuttoning them. He's wearing jeans he hasn't worn in a very long time again, and I know it feels great to him.
As for E and I, we're very much together. I don't know what will happen, I guess I can't promise anyone forever, but at the moment, its absolutely wonderful, and we're happy.
The challenge is the fact that E is living with us, and if J simply moves out I'll end up taking the backlash of having my reputation smeared by what people will be assuming they know about our situation. So right now, we aren't telling anyone. J and I are working together to figure out how to become self sufficient on our own because we are both so dependent on each other. He owns both vehicles, so the Explorer has to be transferred into my name (and inspected again, UGH). There are lots of details of our lives that have to untangled and sorted out. Who gets what and who will need what. We're both really supportive of each other, so this is likely going to happen as smoothly and easily as it ever could. We both don't expect to be able to move any sooner than 6 months, and more likely closer to a year. I don't know how we'll keep it a secret until then, or if we will decide that we should, but at least for now, we feel that it is in our best interest not to say anything. So if you know us on Facebook we ask you to please keep this confidential. Anyone is welcome to drop us messages, we always like hearing from folks of course.
The matter of my parents, I'm not so sure how I'm going to handle that, my mother is beginning to push on wedding details again, and so I don't know what I am going to do to handle her, and the rest of the family for that matter. They've met E, and I know they really like him, so I know that will go over well, when I get to that bridge, but its going to be a while before I admit that to them. I dislike lying, but it is much easier to work through these things in our own time so that we are prepared to handle whatever it is that happens with anyone else.
E is still unemployed, and is still looking for work. I hope for his own sake that he finds something soon. Once he does we'll all be in a little better position to get organized to get out of here.
I'm grateful that we are in a position that we can both move forward through life and be mutually supportive even if our relationship is no longer what it was at one time. Its a beautiful thing that we are able to evolve together and not attempt to hang on to something that no longer serves both of us.