"Random thoughts"
This landed in my email. A few actually made me think. Like the sidesaddle one. Easy reading for the start of the week.
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I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't
know what to feed it.
I had amnesia once -- or twice.
I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now
what?
Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were
Catholic.
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make
me happy.
If the world was a logical place, men would ride
horses sidesaddle.
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them.
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home
and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge
his car onto a freeway.
Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
Experience is the thing you have left when everything
else is gone.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about
other people.
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem
begins to look like a nail.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?
Hmmmm.
My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
How can there be self-help "groups"?
Is there another word for synonym?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
The speed of time is one-second per second.
Is it possible to be totally partial?
What's another word for thesaurus?
Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you
explain whales?
Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and
I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.
It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like
chicken?
-------------------------------------------------
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't
know what to feed it.
I had amnesia once -- or twice.
I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now
what?
Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were
Catholic.
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make
me happy.
If the world was a logical place, men would ride
horses sidesaddle.
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them.
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home
and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge
his car onto a freeway.
Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
Experience is the thing you have left when everything
else is gone.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about
other people.
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem
begins to look like a nail.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?
Hmmmm.
My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
How can there be self-help "groups"?
Is there another word for synonym?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
The speed of time is one-second per second.
Is it possible to be totally partial?
What's another word for thesaurus?
Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you
explain whales?
Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and
I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.
It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like
chicken?