Who won this 'fight'?
Background
I have a friend from grad school who graduated and moved out to SF the same time as I did. In the beginning, we hung out a lot. He used to organize these Friday Happy Hours that I attended every Friday (because I was a good friend) and we also hung out once or twice a week as well. Then, two key things happen: 1) He started "uninviting" friends of mine to his happy hour because they wouldn't formally respond to his evite every week and 2) i got super busy with work, travelling and just being not real happy in the world, so I went through a couple of months of not being a very good friend to anyone, blowing people off and generally being isolated and depressed.
The "fight"
I heard through one of my friends he was having a bbq this sunday. Suspecting he was upset with me still and wanting to see my friends, I wrote him an email and told him I wanted to catch up with him and everyone else and did he mind if I stopped by? He wrote back with this, "you can come but we need to talk about why you are blowing off all of my communications. I am very disappointed in you." Yes, he really said that. So, I launch into a long speech about why I was non-communicative and said "clearly a misunderstanding. let's get together and talk it out." HE wrote back and said "reconciliation not possible. He only wants to be friends with decent people who do not brush off communication.
Now, I ask you - Is this a SANE, decent way to treat people? I mean, really, i don't respond to a mass email and a textg message and now I am "Undesirable #1"? I know you are going to say he is not really a friend and blah blah blah, but anyone who knows me knows that I would never intentionally hurt someone. His reaction makes me want to fight and yell at 'make him understand.' But perception and reality are two different things, so I am going to just let it go.
I have a friend from grad school who graduated and moved out to SF the same time as I did. In the beginning, we hung out a lot. He used to organize these Friday Happy Hours that I attended every Friday (because I was a good friend) and we also hung out once or twice a week as well. Then, two key things happen: 1) He started "uninviting" friends of mine to his happy hour because they wouldn't formally respond to his evite every week and 2) i got super busy with work, travelling and just being not real happy in the world, so I went through a couple of months of not being a very good friend to anyone, blowing people off and generally being isolated and depressed.
The "fight"
I heard through one of my friends he was having a bbq this sunday. Suspecting he was upset with me still and wanting to see my friends, I wrote him an email and told him I wanted to catch up with him and everyone else and did he mind if I stopped by? He wrote back with this, "you can come but we need to talk about why you are blowing off all of my communications. I am very disappointed in you." Yes, he really said that. So, I launch into a long speech about why I was non-communicative and said "clearly a misunderstanding. let's get together and talk it out." HE wrote back and said "reconciliation not possible. He only wants to be friends with decent people who do not brush off communication.
Now, I ask you - Is this a SANE, decent way to treat people? I mean, really, i don't respond to a mass email and a textg message and now I am "Undesirable #1"? I know you are going to say he is not really a friend and blah blah blah, but anyone who knows me knows that I would never intentionally hurt someone. His reaction makes me want to fight and yell at 'make him understand.' But perception and reality are two different things, so I am going to just let it go.