Aug 12, 2008 10:54
Okay so I've had a long couple of days from last week to this week but it's changed me for the good. For now there are now people who know that my father spent the past week in the hospital. He had an infection on his foot, which has caused us trouble for 10 years but it still is a big deal. My mother was on a trip in Gettysburg so this left me by myself in my really big house. Now as much as it was a terrible time for my father and my mother, it was the best experience of my life. I actually had to grow up and be able to take care of myself. To some, it may not seem as a big deal but it was. It also forces you to think about things cause you got nothing else to do. I finally figured out some things I've wanted to figure out. What is a man" My father never told me, for him it was always about him and not about others. I didn't want to grow up like that. I found out what I need to do. I need to be able to take care of myself but also still take care of others. You need confidence but not have an ego. You need to be able to figure out what you can do at the same time, do what you need to do. I know I'm a control freak, but I'm trying to learn to let go and just let others do what they need to do. I also have figured out what I want and what I don't want in terms of a love relationship and I'm happy with being by myself for a while and if something comes up where I care about someone and they care about me and they can stand to put up with me for long periods of time and I can have a good conversation with them then we'll see what happens but I'm looking to help others the best I can with that I can. I'm ready to get back to work in school and bring some new work to life including Jim's new play, my second season of Girl of Your Dreams, and a new play I wrote which will remain a secret until I can assure that it will get on.
I'm sorry I've been MIA for the past week but I'm a bit different than I used to be and I hope that's enough to change people's perception of me.
Update:
So this week has gotten longer. My grandfather died. I'm telling people this so that they can pray for him and my father. My father took the news rather badly and I want to make sure that my father has anything he needs including prayers especially for my grandfather. I can hand this, I think my mother is coming home early. Because my father is in no condition to walk around, I am going to help my uncle with the funeral arrangements. I can deal with this. I have to. I just ask that I have some friends who will help me and make sure I don't do this by myself.