Glad I'm doing this...
12 Stories of Animals Saving People:
http://www.oddee.com/item_97033.aspx
I'm planning on seeing a therapist first thing tomorrow. I am proud of myself for working really hard to be a more positive individual, and I've realized that I'm a lot stronger and more courageous than I ever knew I could be. I think this "Positivity Journal" has been super helpful, but I realized today that part of being brave is knowing when to ask for help. I was really happy through most of the day, even counseling my mother on some serious issues she was having that I hadn't been aware of, (she has been having panic attacks regarding her fear of death after her close friend died of cancer recently) and making a resolution to heal the wounds I have with my father (Very tough thing to do, considering how explosive our last conversation was.) I learned about Suzan-Lori Parks, a playwright who gets criticized with every play she writes, but still manages to be a positive and engaging individual. I was really inspired, and plan to follow her work.
I thought about all the good I could do in the world. My friend Paul even told me that he imagines me being like Mrs. Parks when I'm in my forties. His positivity and honest faith in me really pulled me up. It's funny, but I've noticed that the men in my classes seem to be sensing my depression and taking steps to comfort me, without me saying anything at all. Literally every guy in my playwriting class has approached me with positivity over the past week. A guy I don't know very well even hugged me out of the blue today when he saw my face. It warms my heart knowing how good people are if you only let them be. I was in a bit of a kick when I went to the LA off-campus meeting. I was already good friends with one of the girls who was going, and made great friends with another who attended, and that made me feel very warm and welcomed. Our professor told us about all the amazing opportunities we would have, how we'd get to meet two of the "Simpsons" writers, and tour a soundstage and meet SAG members. But tonight, as I made a resolution to "write into the night" I became filled with such loneliness and despair it was almost unbearable. We humans are incredibly complex creatures and our brains tend to rewire themselves very quickly to adapt to stimulus. I've been experiencing symptoms of PTSD and depression for two months now, and I think I've lost control of my mood. While I do trust that this experience will be good for me in the long run, having a psychotic breakdown isn't how I wanted to end my school career. I'm going to see a therapist and explain everything that has happened to me and hopefully that will allow me to make it through my last week in a healthy, if not entirely happy, way.
http://www.oddee.com/item_97033.aspx
I'm planning on seeing a therapist first thing tomorrow. I am proud of myself for working really hard to be a more positive individual, and I've realized that I'm a lot stronger and more courageous than I ever knew I could be. I think this "Positivity Journal" has been super helpful, but I realized today that part of being brave is knowing when to ask for help. I was really happy through most of the day, even counseling my mother on some serious issues she was having that I hadn't been aware of, (she has been having panic attacks regarding her fear of death after her close friend died of cancer recently) and making a resolution to heal the wounds I have with my father (Very tough thing to do, considering how explosive our last conversation was.) I learned about Suzan-Lori Parks, a playwright who gets criticized with every play she writes, but still manages to be a positive and engaging individual. I was really inspired, and plan to follow her work.
I thought about all the good I could do in the world. My friend Paul even told me that he imagines me being like Mrs. Parks when I'm in my forties. His positivity and honest faith in me really pulled me up. It's funny, but I've noticed that the men in my classes seem to be sensing my depression and taking steps to comfort me, without me saying anything at all. Literally every guy in my playwriting class has approached me with positivity over the past week. A guy I don't know very well even hugged me out of the blue today when he saw my face. It warms my heart knowing how good people are if you only let them be. I was in a bit of a kick when I went to the LA off-campus meeting. I was already good friends with one of the girls who was going, and made great friends with another who attended, and that made me feel very warm and welcomed. Our professor told us about all the amazing opportunities we would have, how we'd get to meet two of the "Simpsons" writers, and tour a soundstage and meet SAG members. But tonight, as I made a resolution to "write into the night" I became filled with such loneliness and despair it was almost unbearable. We humans are incredibly complex creatures and our brains tend to rewire themselves very quickly to adapt to stimulus. I've been experiencing symptoms of PTSD and depression for two months now, and I think I've lost control of my mood. While I do trust that this experience will be good for me in the long run, having a psychotic breakdown isn't how I wanted to end my school career. I'm going to see a therapist and explain everything that has happened to me and hopefully that will allow me to make it through my last week in a healthy, if not entirely happy, way.