Love Story; Promise (1/1)
Title: Love Story; Promise (1/1)
Pairing: jeti
Rating: pg13
Genre: angst?
a/n: just telling you guys that I really can't -- or fail -- in making
a sweet or cute or happy ending story. Teach me and I'll be very
happy. Thanks.
A/n2: This has been too long on my draft so I guess I shud continue this. All will be on Jessica's PoV as Flashbacks or stories. //// would be the end of Jessica’s story telling, ---- would be the end of Jessica’s flashback.
Hi, I'm Jessica Jung. 25 and broken heart.
I wanna tell you about my love story, my first love story, over a girl named Tiffany Hwang. I'm a gay (yeah thanks for remembering), truly gay, but for her only.
I was as straight as a boy with jersey and a ball on his hand until I met her 5 years ago.
////
20 year old
Eyes-smile, black long straight hair, perfect lips, perfect nose, perfect body, perfects. Everything about a girl with pink loose t-shirt and hot pink short shorts are perfections.
She bore her eyes boringly on her laptop with one hand supporting her chin. Clicking the mouse while slurping her strawberry juice using a straw was simply attractive for me.
How I wished I was a pretty boy at that time so I can asked her number and asked her for a date. I shook my head as I chuckled at my own's silly thought.
Why oh why.
I get my attention back to the newspaper I read earlier and I took a sip from my caramel coffee. The hot liquid makes me relaxed myself as I leaned back but stopped midways when I heard voices.
It was her, having arguments with a tanned girl as annoyance eating her up. I can hear them, I'm not eavesdropping really, but their hissed were a little bit too loud. I'm just gonna pretended like hearing nothing so they can continue their talked.
"Please... I'm reall-"
"Look Yul, I'm not gonna buy your sorry ever again. I'm tired! I gave you so many changes already!"
"One more time. Please... I promise, this time I wouldn't-"
"Stop! Listen to me,"
It was paused for awhile and I can't help but took glances at them. I can only saw the tanned girl's back and a little bit of Tiffany’s face who biting her lip now. She sighed as she closed her laptop and stared at the other girl in front of her.
"We're over,"
"Wha-"
"We're over," She repeated and I wonder what this 'we're over' refers to. I gulped.
"Let's break up,"
That was it. The key word was finally spoken and at that time, I feel like a stupid that had been thrown to a random dump. Why? Because I do realize that the perfect girl in front of me was a gay and she's just broken up with her girlfriend.
I watched as the tanned girl stood up. Groaned and kicked the chair she once sat on while the other looked away and crossed her arms on her chest.
For awhile, I thought she wouldn't break into tears but when I took glanced at her for the last time, I saw her crying silently with her hand on the table and her face covered with it.
I have this feeling that if I came to her and overs her a handkerchief, we could be friends. I doing it like a gentleman I am, handed her my handkerchief.
"You may need this,"
She looks up, eyes swollen, nose red, bet it was her worst state at the moment. I was ready for spats, shouts, or anything but not a smile. I'm not ready for smiles and a warm thanks.
"Thank you," she said while taking my over and wipe her tears.
"May I?" I signaled the chair and she nodded. I looked at her, smile simply.
Still looking at her, I lean myself onto the back seat. She doesn't looking back at me but when I turned my head onto the other side of the cafe, I heard her sweet voice.
"I'm sorry about that,"
"It's okay," I shook my head. "But I wasn't eavesdropping, I swear," I made V sign with my index and middle finger and put innocent look on my face. She smiles again.
"I know,"
She draw invisible circle on the table as she - once again - used her hand to supported her chin.
I think she loves doing it.
"So... Thanks um..."
"Jessica,"
"Thanks Jessica," she straightened her sit and bowed a little. "Hwang, Tiffany Hwang,"
And she flashed the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen like she wasn’t crying and never broke up with anyone else five seconds ago. The way her eyes turn into a crescent moon and the glistening moist lips as she smiled, makes my heart skipped some of its beats.
I wasn't payed attention to anything around me anymore, not even when I can feel my phone's vibrated. All I can do is stare as long as I could at this beauty in front of me.
Never in my life I feel this excited but nervous at the same time, not even when pretty boys gave me tons of flowers to get my attention. This girl, in front of me, this one with eyes-smile, caught off my
guards.
I found myself smiling brightly and my heart thumps abnormally. I know this was wrong, but I feel like I wouldn't regret it ever. So when the time I spoke, I decided and sure about one thing.
When I realize I would love to make my life complete with her and I would love to turn to be a gay for her;
Love on the first sight does exist.
"Hi Tiffany Hwang, it's really nice to know you,"
////
Faith they said. It's not like I tailed her everywhere but she will be always there at the cafe, or bookstore, ot even at the park I used to came. Sure thing, she wasn't tailed me either.
Well, it's a good sign after all. We started to be a close friend as times goes by. I get to know her well - or maybe too well - because I can easily read her mind or eyes or even her mood. Sixth sense? No
way, I don't have such thing.
Tiffany is a very good girl with good attitude and all. She lived with her dad since her mom died when she was a little. They live happily though. Tiffany has everything what girl wants. I mean ALL!
She was simple, yet perfect. Disturbingly perfect.
But hey, I don't make friend with her money and her HUGE house. I love her just the way she is.
So, when we were 21, I make my first move.
////
21 years old
I watched as Tiffany combed her hair with her fingers while a romance novel rested on her lap. She leaned against the wall as she flipped through the pages, eyes never leaving the book.
Tilted my head to one side and I curved my lips a little. I was amazed with her beauty, every single movements she made drives me nuts already. Even if it’s just flipping book pages.
"You should stop,"
I said and she glanced up a bit before turned her attention back to her book.
"Stop from what?" She asked with a low hoarse voice.
"From being so adorable,"
Tiffany chuckled and closed her book, placed it onto the floor before she crossed her leg and looked at me with smirk. I shrugged, looked away as I let out a low scoffed which made her moving closer.
She stared at me long enough until I can't help but stared back at her. The beauty was smiling with her eyes. Again, my heart skipped a beat. I gulped down the nervous and smiled back at her. Caress her hair softly.
"Well?" She said.
"Nothing,"
The girl in front of me pouts and I fighting the urge to not kissed that pink lips. Yet.
Let out a chuckled, I leaned closer and made our noses touched. I saw her closed her eyes, smiling, seems really enjoying the moment so much. My heart thump abnormally when I cupped her cheek with one hand and hold her hand with the other one.
"Tiff,"
She hummed calmly.
"Three words,"
Tiffany opened her eyes and stared onto mine. Her brown beautiful orbs told me she was confused which made me giggled and closed my eyes before spoke.
"I wanna tell you three words,"
"Tell me,"
I opened my eyes and stared deep onto hers.
"I love you,"
She wasn't move or even made any reaction, she was just stared at me. Waiting for the other words.
"More than just a friend,"
I saw her lips slowly curved into a bright smile before she bumped at me and made both of us fell down flat onto the floor. Tiffany on top of me, hands wrapped on my neck, lips... On mine.
I tried to make my brain work faster than before and proceeded what was going on now. I was shock, but when I realize that Tiffany is the one who kissed me, I smile on her lips and kissed her back. I put my hands onto her waist as she deepened the kiss before pulled back and looked at me with smiling watery eyes.
"I'm waiting for you to said that," she smiled even brighter which made me cupped her face and wipe away her tears of joy from the corner of her eyes.
She kissed me once more and buried her face on my neck.
"I love you too, Jessi. I love you too,"
And I hugged her tight, make her as close to my heart with a joyful smile on my face.
From that time, I promise myself something I shouldn't ever said.
////
You know? People said we're humans and we make mistakes. Damn that's right.
It was my first time made her crying. I wasn't a gay before so I don't know how I can control my feeling towards a guy. It's hard really. Loving Tiffany is easy, but make her not to cry or hurt are the
problems.
Tiffany understood that I need time to accepted this, the relationship I mean. However, it's still new for me. But I seem can't understand her feelings.
At the age of 24 - after 3 years of a happy relationship - I made mistake. The one which made me crying every night.
////
24 years old
I slumped my tired body onto the couch as I closed my eyes shut. Being the one who work, making money, pay the bills, made me stupid - or idiot -- enough to say yes to a rich guy who would paid anything or everything I wanted. We don't date, or maybe, not yet.
I open my eyes when someone's breath tickled my neck and pair of soft lips peck me on the lips and kissed my temple lovingly. It's Tiffany, but I don't feel the happiness I felt months ago anymore. Now it's just guilts, even it's just she was around me.
I still loving her. I really do.
"Wash your body and let's sleep, Honey," she said combing my blonde hair. "Come on, I already prepare the tub for you. Warm water and... There's food in the kitchen,"
I open my eyes and found her face just inch away from mine. I just letting out a smirk before got up and went straight to the bathroom -- letting Tiffany put all my belongings onto its places.
-----
It is two in the morning and Taecyeon's lips was tight around my lips. It's wrong I know it. I should just go home and eat Tiffany's food and sleep with her under the pink blanket cuddling. Not make out in the club with this hottie and promise to broke up with the girl I live with.
How pathetic it was when I kissed him back and his hands all around me. This shouldn't be happening. I should just pushed him and walked away leaving him.
Even I know I want to push him, I can't.
I was straight. Wasn't I?
I never expect anyone to find me making out in the club I used to come nor expecting Tiffany to come over me and watch me kissing from the club's door. I never want anything but buried myself alive.
She was crying but nothing come out from her mouth. She was crying but didn't scream or slap or breaking up with me at that time. No, she wasn't ,but she was only smile bitterly as if she knows thing like this would gonna happened oneday.
"Tiffany," I gasped and pushed Taecyeon as I looked at her shock.
"Let's go home,"
That was always that smile which made me know how hurt her feeling was.
-----
"Are you mad at me?"
She would say
"No,"
And then leaned on me, hugged me, and kiss my temple.
"You should," I said.
"But I can't,"
And if I asked why, she would said because she loved me so much. And if I said I'm sorry, she would answer it with that sad smile and leave me alone thinking and cursing myself to the death.
Tiffany was hurting so much. I don't know how to cheer her up anymore when she never smiled again for me, for the days we were going through. She wasn't Tiffany that I know from that very moment.
----
2 months latter
That was luggages, bags, and key's jingle inside our apartment when I just came back home. It wasn't Tiffany who stood with a bag hanging loosely on her shoulder at the living room. It was Leo, her brother who brought my apartment key and facing me coolly.
"If you're done hurting my sister than it would be such a very brilliant news,"
Leo doesn't give me a time to talk when he walked and grabbed all Tiffany's luggages and bags. He glance at me really cold, giving me that deathly glare and as if he about to kill me anytime soon. I deserve it I know. But the image of losing Tiffany just a way too heartbreaking.
"You don't even know how many times my sister spend to try to kill herself when you’re not around doesn't you, Jessica?"
His shoulder shook with anger when he talked. And I can't help but shocked myself by his talk. So Tiffany does... Very hurt... Because of me.
"Do you even know why she didn't even give you a call today? Oh wait, the question is, do you even fuckin' care about it?"
Yes, Tiffany didn't gave me a single call. Not even messages, no. Nothing. I've been wondering but how stupid I am didn't call her instead.
I care. I swear I care.
"Well just if you wanna know,"
That was a pause and I stared at Leo. His eyes' red, swollen and angry. And I'm afraid. Very afraid until I can't find myself ho-
"One of her trying was... Succeeded. She's dead and I hope you're happy to hear that. I thought you can healed her heart from too many heartbreaking broke up but I was wrong. You made it even worse,"
I didn't hear anything but read Leo's mouth. I didn't care how Leo's face flashed angry. I didn't really pay attention when Leo's fits trembled by anger. I didn't hear how loud he slam the door.
I didn't care how hurt my knees were when I kneeled onto the floor and my heart stop beating, stop breathing, stop feeling and I feel like stop living.
But when my very first tear dropped onto the cold white floor, I know I already stopped my life for about 2 months when I decided to cheat behind her back, to hurt her until suffering. To hurt her until she exhale her last breathe.
/////
So when people said move on is really easy when you just doing your usual activity, curse it, it really doesn't even easy when someone who used to be your life's company wasn't there anymore.
People can talk, can help, can gives, but they can't stop the hole on your heart from not craving for your lover's present.
They talk, let them. They pity you, just let them. They don't feel what you feel, they don’t know what you've been through. They never turn their lives up side down from what they were to that they are right now.
I don't -- or wouldn't -- tell them what pain is until they found it by their own self. People does have their own life. Mine is a real heartbreaking.
Well, I never give a damn about promises I made, not to mention that I never promise anything to anyone. I never. Never because if I can't keep my promise to the one I loved the most then why should I keep one for someone I don't?
People said we don’t feel like needed the one we loved until we lose them. I’m not a kind of someone who wanted to hear people’s quotes, but this time, I agree with that.
This is Jessica Jung, 25 years old and heart broken. Telling you about this with no something personal. Well, I just want to tell you that I love Tiffany Hwang and I make myself to not loving someone else as big as my love to her.
And if you met her, tell her I missed her so much.
//--//--//--//