my idea, that turned to a very long entry
Well since i probably wouldn't talk with her for a couple days i don't want to lose my train of thought of what my idea was.. I want to be friends that is since friends see each other. i had an idea of atleast taking one day of the week to like go out and eat and talk about each other.. like how things are going and how's life. I hope she isn't going to be too busy to do this or doesn't like the idea because i only think it can help. If i do change and all.. this will give her a way to actually see it for herself, if we weren't going to see each other for a long time like kinda how things are now she would never know unless i tell her but if i do that she might not believe it. Well that is the basis of my idea for now, i don't see any flaws yet. Only flaw i might think of is..well, not really a flaw it is just if she will agree or not. Just have to wait.. Speaking of waiting i hate waiting it seems like now all my life is going to be is waiting. i don't like it because i feel alone. ah being alone.. i don't really have anyone to comfort me when i'm sick or sad. i don't think she will have the time to do that anymore or well she doesn't have to. Oh i've been having up's and down's lately like i would be having a mediocre day then i would think then the thinkin could turn out bad then i would feel depressed for a couple mins. (this happened yesterday on how she said she was going away for the weekend. i don't know why i felt sad or mad.. i think it was sad not mad. well i wanted to do something with her like go to the movies or something just be around her but when she came over it just felt awkard i hope that will change, any way i was sad that i couldn't be around her the weekend, she is going to be atleast 320 miles away. and if something happens i can't do anything to help her. but she is strong. i don't know why i just mentioned that because i wasn't even thinking about it before. i guess i just wanted to say it.) well as i was saying i felt depressed when she left my house. but it took me like 10 mins to realize what was going on, after i thought about it for a while i decided to call marck since we were going to the movies and then after that i wasn't sad anymore?. atleast i know i can be happy for a little while like the rest of the nite i was ok. so i just rambled on.. and i tryed to post this just about the idea i had but i guess its good to get all that said because well thats whats this is for.