help Me, figure out the Difference between right and wrong.
i used to say that i wanted to rob a bank or something like in ocean's eleven, to see if i actually would be smart enough to get away with it. people that do horrible things, always seem to be some of the most intelligent people in the world. just for the record if i ever did try it, which i won't, and got away with it, i would give all the money back, and help the security system fix itself so that the real bad people in the world could never accomplish what i had. i know that's silly to think about, but i was just watching saw 2. i was really amazed that someone could think up such a story to write. my whole point of talking about this is why do the most brillant people in the world decide to do such hard with their knowledge? if i was really that smart, i would be finding the cure for cancer instead of hijacking planes, or becoming an incredibally talented serial killer. i know that sounds ironic, talented serial killer, but really in order to be one, you have to be almost brillant, and that's saying you get caught. what if you were smart enough to get away with it somehow? it's just pretty interesting to think about. even movie writers that come up with situations where people are kidnapped and no one ever finds them, or writers that come up with just imaginative things that can only be created but not produced, like the cars in minority report, why don't these brillant people focus on creating these cars, and become police officers to arrest these horrible people, instead of creating entertainment for us to view. it really just is interesting...
so how the hell have i been? that's a great question, but it's not really relevent. there's so much more going on in the world, then to think about myself all the time, sure i'd love to spend my afternoon writing about the boy problems i have and how i almost passed out at running today because i'm so out of shape after recovering from my surgery, but really what does it matter? maria told me a little while ago that i'm supposed to do something everyday that makes me happy. i can't honestly say i've done this like she told me too, i frequently forget, but why? i act like my life is so terrible and stressful, and that i live this horrible life, but where do i even come up with this stuff? i have a loving family who supports me in everything i do, friends who may not always technically be there, but they will always "be there," i get to eat like a pig, because i am comfortable not being a size 0, and i am healthy and have people that care about me. if some people in this world even had one of those they'd be happy, and i take it all for granted. i mean sure a lot of people take things for granted but i find myself doing it way more frequently than i should. i live an amazing life, and i need to start living it that way. everyday i need to wake up and love the world for having me in it one more day. tomorrow is never promised, so live today like it's your last. that quote gets lost in the seriousness of everything, and i usually forget about it. after i wrote that sentence i actually wrote it in big letters on a piece of computer paper, and hung it next to my desk. it's a quote i'd love to live by, because honestly, i may not be here tomorrow. i know that's morbid and i like to act invincible like i'll never be hurt, and nothing bad is ever going to happen to me, but that's life. and life does go on!
i used to be wise beyond my years, i can't say i believe that so much anymore. however, i don't think that's a bad thing anymore either. i don't want to grow up too fast. if you grow up to fast, you miss the best times of your life. when you're young you can mess up, and you can mess up more than once, and life can still be okay. when you grow up you have to start taking everything so seriously. i like to say no "life's not that serious." people always laugh at me and try to tell me it is, but it really isn't. if i mess up, sure someone or something is going to be hurt by it, but it ends up working out. i also always say, life works out the way it's supposed to. and i truely do believe that!
thanksgiving's coming up, and i usually write some big post about how i'm thankful for this and thankful for that, or why i'm thankful for the people that are close to me and stand by me, but this year i want it to be different, i want it to be as simple as it should be. i am thankful for being alive. life is what you make it and since i have the opportunity to live my life, i can ask for nothing else. this year i can't say i've made all the best decisions, actually i've probably made a wrong decision at least once everyday, but i'm not perfect. for once, i'm okay with that. i used to claim i was perfect, and i thought it was funny...but really, it's not. why would you even want to be perfect? that would be awful. i've finally realized also, that not being perfect doesn't mean people think less of me. although sometimes i feel like i have to be perfect in order to not dissapoint people, that's far from the truth. sure, i mess up, but who doesn't? it's all part of life, it's all part of growing up, and it's all part of learning from your mistakes. i've learned it's better to ask for help, then suffer through the struggle. i've learned talking to people even when you think they can't help, helps you. i've learned to be independent, and take responsiblity for some of my actions which i wish i would never have done. ultimately i learned that its okay to be me. i'm not perfect, i make mistakes, i ask for help, and i just live life.
my goal for the rest of the year is to be happy with who i am. this doesn't mean making the right decision everyday, or being perfect, or being the best. it means that i will do things i love, and i will do it because it feels right. i always get the advice to do what feels right, and that's how people are supposed to live, through how they feel. you do what feels right, and what makes you feel good :) with that you can never dissapoint yourself.
Love always and forever, until love no longer exists in the world,
M-Fizzle
ps-sometimes its okay to be lazy ;)
so how the hell have i been? that's a great question, but it's not really relevent. there's so much more going on in the world, then to think about myself all the time, sure i'd love to spend my afternoon writing about the boy problems i have and how i almost passed out at running today because i'm so out of shape after recovering from my surgery, but really what does it matter? maria told me a little while ago that i'm supposed to do something everyday that makes me happy. i can't honestly say i've done this like she told me too, i frequently forget, but why? i act like my life is so terrible and stressful, and that i live this horrible life, but where do i even come up with this stuff? i have a loving family who supports me in everything i do, friends who may not always technically be there, but they will always "be there," i get to eat like a pig, because i am comfortable not being a size 0, and i am healthy and have people that care about me. if some people in this world even had one of those they'd be happy, and i take it all for granted. i mean sure a lot of people take things for granted but i find myself doing it way more frequently than i should. i live an amazing life, and i need to start living it that way. everyday i need to wake up and love the world for having me in it one more day. tomorrow is never promised, so live today like it's your last. that quote gets lost in the seriousness of everything, and i usually forget about it. after i wrote that sentence i actually wrote it in big letters on a piece of computer paper, and hung it next to my desk. it's a quote i'd love to live by, because honestly, i may not be here tomorrow. i know that's morbid and i like to act invincible like i'll never be hurt, and nothing bad is ever going to happen to me, but that's life. and life does go on!
i used to be wise beyond my years, i can't say i believe that so much anymore. however, i don't think that's a bad thing anymore either. i don't want to grow up too fast. if you grow up to fast, you miss the best times of your life. when you're young you can mess up, and you can mess up more than once, and life can still be okay. when you grow up you have to start taking everything so seriously. i like to say no "life's not that serious." people always laugh at me and try to tell me it is, but it really isn't. if i mess up, sure someone or something is going to be hurt by it, but it ends up working out. i also always say, life works out the way it's supposed to. and i truely do believe that!
thanksgiving's coming up, and i usually write some big post about how i'm thankful for this and thankful for that, or why i'm thankful for the people that are close to me and stand by me, but this year i want it to be different, i want it to be as simple as it should be. i am thankful for being alive. life is what you make it and since i have the opportunity to live my life, i can ask for nothing else. this year i can't say i've made all the best decisions, actually i've probably made a wrong decision at least once everyday, but i'm not perfect. for once, i'm okay with that. i used to claim i was perfect, and i thought it was funny...but really, it's not. why would you even want to be perfect? that would be awful. i've finally realized also, that not being perfect doesn't mean people think less of me. although sometimes i feel like i have to be perfect in order to not dissapoint people, that's far from the truth. sure, i mess up, but who doesn't? it's all part of life, it's all part of growing up, and it's all part of learning from your mistakes. i've learned it's better to ask for help, then suffer through the struggle. i've learned talking to people even when you think they can't help, helps you. i've learned to be independent, and take responsiblity for some of my actions which i wish i would never have done. ultimately i learned that its okay to be me. i'm not perfect, i make mistakes, i ask for help, and i just live life.
my goal for the rest of the year is to be happy with who i am. this doesn't mean making the right decision everyday, or being perfect, or being the best. it means that i will do things i love, and i will do it because it feels right. i always get the advice to do what feels right, and that's how people are supposed to live, through how they feel. you do what feels right, and what makes you feel good :) with that you can never dissapoint yourself.
Love always and forever, until love no longer exists in the world,
M-Fizzle
ps-sometimes its okay to be lazy ;)