LJIdol - Week 25 Entry
Bertie and Ludwig: Intersubjectivity*
"So we are agreed?"
"Yes, agreed."
"Finally!" Bertie turned to his research assistant, "Benedict, we have decided on the Early Grey."
"Yes, sir." Benedict gave a cursory nod of his head, and left the office.
"Now then," Bertie slapped his hands down on his knees, "where were we?"
"The elephant in the room," Ludwig said without a hint of humor or irony.
"Well yes, so… it isn't here."
"I can't say for sure."
Bertie sighed loudly, “Ludwig, how can you be so obstinate?”
“I am not obstinate. I am merely correct.”
“But look around! No elephant!”
“No elephant that I can perceive.”
“But what you perceive is all that is there.”
“Yes.”
“So if you do not perceive it, it is not there. Therefore, there is not an elephant in this room.”
“I really couldn’t say because what if what I perceive is not all that there is?”
Bertie buried his head in his hands. They argued back and forth like this for some time. Finally, Bertie twisted in his chair and shouted in frustration, “Where the Devil is Benedict with our tea?”
As if on cue, Benedict entered with tea. “We were out of Earl Grey. I hope Darjeeling is alright.” This time it was Ludwig’s turn to sigh loudly.
Bertie rolled his eyes and shooed Benedict away with a wave of his hand. He looked back at Ludwig, “Your line of thinking leads to solipsism.”
Ludwig shrugged his shoulders. Bertie was about to scold Ludwig for such a passive response, but he noticed something that stopped him cold. He could begin to see the outline of the armchair behind Ludwig’s shoulders that had begun to seem transparent. Bertie rubbed his eyes, and when he opened them again, Ludwig had become even more gossamer. “What the deuce? I say, Ludwig, I can see through you!”
Again, Ludwig shrugged, “If that is what you perceive, then that is the case.”
“But you are disappearing! Aren’t you frightened?”
“But I don’t perceive myself as disappearing. In fact,” Ludwig raised his transparent hands before his eyes, “I appear quite solid to…”
Bertie blinked wildly. Ludwig had vanished mid-sentence. Bertie stood and looked around as the entire room faded into transparency. He turned back to where the door had been. “Benedict?” There was only a vast expanse of nothingness behind him, below him, and above him. Bertie turned back to where Ludwig had been; there stood instead a massive elephant seemingly suspended in nothingness. Bertie felt as if he would lose his balance, and he took a step backward. He peered intensely at the elephant for some time, and finally asked, “What the hell was in that tea?”
*This is loosely based on a long-standing argument between Bertrand Russell and Ludwig Wittgenstein. To my knowledge, people didn't really call Bertrand Russell "Bertie."
"So we are agreed?"
"Yes, agreed."
"Finally!" Bertie turned to his research assistant, "Benedict, we have decided on the Early Grey."
"Yes, sir." Benedict gave a cursory nod of his head, and left the office.
"Now then," Bertie slapped his hands down on his knees, "where were we?"
"The elephant in the room," Ludwig said without a hint of humor or irony.
"Well yes, so… it isn't here."
"I can't say for sure."
Bertie sighed loudly, “Ludwig, how can you be so obstinate?”
“I am not obstinate. I am merely correct.”
“But look around! No elephant!”
“No elephant that I can perceive.”
“But what you perceive is all that is there.”
“Yes.”
“So if you do not perceive it, it is not there. Therefore, there is not an elephant in this room.”
“I really couldn’t say because what if what I perceive is not all that there is?”
Bertie buried his head in his hands. They argued back and forth like this for some time. Finally, Bertie twisted in his chair and shouted in frustration, “Where the Devil is Benedict with our tea?”
As if on cue, Benedict entered with tea. “We were out of Earl Grey. I hope Darjeeling is alright.” This time it was Ludwig’s turn to sigh loudly.
Bertie rolled his eyes and shooed Benedict away with a wave of his hand. He looked back at Ludwig, “Your line of thinking leads to solipsism.”
Ludwig shrugged his shoulders. Bertie was about to scold Ludwig for such a passive response, but he noticed something that stopped him cold. He could begin to see the outline of the armchair behind Ludwig’s shoulders that had begun to seem transparent. Bertie rubbed his eyes, and when he opened them again, Ludwig had become even more gossamer. “What the deuce? I say, Ludwig, I can see through you!”
Again, Ludwig shrugged, “If that is what you perceive, then that is the case.”
“But you are disappearing! Aren’t you frightened?”
“But I don’t perceive myself as disappearing. In fact,” Ludwig raised his transparent hands before his eyes, “I appear quite solid to…”
Bertie blinked wildly. Ludwig had vanished mid-sentence. Bertie stood and looked around as the entire room faded into transparency. He turned back to where the door had been. “Benedict?” There was only a vast expanse of nothingness behind him, below him, and above him. Bertie turned back to where Ludwig had been; there stood instead a massive elephant seemingly suspended in nothingness. Bertie felt as if he would lose his balance, and he took a step backward. He peered intensely at the elephant for some time, and finally asked, “What the hell was in that tea?”
*This is loosely based on a long-standing argument between Bertrand Russell and Ludwig Wittgenstein. To my knowledge, people didn't really call Bertrand Russell "Bertie."