(no subject)
I feel lost. I dont understand why ppl say the things they say or why they do most of the things they do. Im alone. Lonely. Im afraid of getting hurt. I dont want to let you in. but I do. I want you to love me. I dont want obligation. I dont want to be suffocated. I like stars and romance. And black coffee. I like hands. Holding them. I dont like to be touched. I want you next to me at all times. I want you as far away as possible. I want support. I dont NEED support. I dont want a safety net. And I dont want to be yours. Or second base either. I want to be your one and only. I want to cry. I dont want to ruin my makeup. I want you to take me home. I wish you would stay. I want to fall asleep in the park. Or on the deck. In the hammock. IN YOUR ARMS. As we watch the stars change positions. As the sky turns to light. And the night dissappears. I want to dance! I hope to sing in the shower. With you? I want you to take me out. On a picnic. By the river. I want to smoke a cigarette. With you as well. I want to follow in your footsteps. I dont want there to be trouble. Complications are OK. But no trouble. I want this to look simple. But I want to complicate the hell out of this. To see if you will stay? To have fun? I dont want this to get out for you. Long term. Love.