(no subject)
With eyes wide open it can be so hard to live in this world today
But if you close them you just might miss out
And life will pass you by
You know that
Things will never change
And your life will
Always stay the same
Eyes open
Eyes shut
I need some memory loss
Tell me what's that gonna cost?
If it has to do with attitude I'll pack up and get lost
I'm having second thoughts on going trough with this
I should say screw this shit close my eyes and get used to it
Unchanged
Don't waste your life away
Blankness with an over anxiousness
To erase this you must be courageous
Just to face what gives you knots in your stomach
And once you've done it
You're gonna love it
Getting up there and being above it
chronic future*
i never really loved this band, but christina showed me a few good songs by them... like this one..
its really catchy.. and maybe a lil too punky for my liking.. but then again.. maybe its just enough. punk is ok in small doses. i decided.
so a LOT has been on my mind lately... in fact, i wrote an ENORMOUS entry two days ago and went to ex out of photoshop and instead... I EXITED LIVEJOURNAL. im' not AS pist anymore so i'm gonna try to rewrite the glorious words...
no really, it was well thought out. good grammar. ya know the whole shabang.
so i'm been looking for a prom dress for a long time now.. and i finally got my ass out to potomac mills yesterday and found a jackpot. i didn't find "the" dress cause i ran out of time, but i know where i'm gonna get it now..
see, i bought one for 80$ bucks... good deal right? well.. its a really funky dress... and i can see why it'd go from like 300 to 80 or however much it was originally... most people are prolly too scared to wear it. its silver... and i got it... but its really just a last resort dress. i can't explain how much i really am NOT looking forward to prom... but i am... ya know? i KNOW it will probably be full of drama... always is... but i also know its a complete money vaccum. not that i have any. which will bring me to my second stress issue. FINANCIAL COMPLICATIONS. i'm in debt.. to people ... and i dont even have enough money to pay them back, much less pay to get my nails done, a dress... anything else... GAS.. good buddha, how expensive is it gonna get before it comes back down?
i think it could be fun, and i want it to be... but i'm not that girl... that looks at prom like.. "I'M GETTING SO PLASTERED." in fact, i just wanna have a nice dinner, go to the dancey part, and chill with friends afterwards... unfortunately, i'm a very rare species in this thinking.. and i dont know many of people that would be up for this... :(
speaking of other people, i'll just hit on that now...
to anyone who likes to start shit between people in a relationship, to anyone who has jealousy issues for no reason, to anyone who likes to talk about old friends, simply because they're not your friend anymore, to anyone who is repeatedly talking shit about someone and wonders why everyone hates them, this is for you.
Chances are, if you're reading this, and you know me, you're at least 17. so you should be mature enough to know that it gets you NO WHERE in life, to walk around talking trash about people. Sure, you may feel satisfied with the revenge... getting a bunch of people to HATE that person that you AREN'T QUITE good enough for.
i'm just so confused as to how someone who seems to think they're SO GROWN UP, can be so immature? i mean... i'm not gonna mention any names, but i've run into too many of these skeezy types of people in my life. and its funny, cause its not just girls. there's TONS of guys... JUST THAT immature... when are we gonna grow up and start acting like young adults? instead of young TOOLS with the mindset of a friggin 8th grade girl.
in other news..
i've been thinking about this upcoming summer a lot and i have to admit i'm not looking forward to it that much. its gonna be the same everday... prolly work... at least 6 days a week... and then church all sunday... for months... and then. i leave.
i go to richmond. and start a whole new era in my life. and i dont think i am anywhere near ready to handle it. i've been wanting this freedom for so long... but it just seems to be eating away at my soul at the moment.. and i can't handle it...
i've been dying to leave my house, and all the rules that come along with it... but i've started to love clifton.. and i have so many good memories to look back on now..
richmond could be really fun.. but i'm worried about what i'm leaving behind..
i think i'm done ranting for now..