what is happening
All of a sudden I have a lot of the things that I have wanted for the past year...I got a job that I actually like...I have Carrie back as a friends and that makes me smile, she is such a good person, I don't even deserve her loyalty and kindness , I am still good friends with Sara and even though we have had our ups and downs I can't see my life without her in it.... I have all these things and so much more, my family,my car, a home, I am so grateful and yet...............so empty.....why do I feel this way...I can't explain it maybe its because I need attention from someone that loves me which I haven't had in a long while...I feel like pulling out my hair, breaking windows...I crave attention I am just one of those people I need all eyes on me at all times I can't help it....I try to tone it down for people who get annoyed but it just backs up inside me and makes things worse...I feel like I can't be who I think I truly am without attention but I am not getting it from the source I really need it....I feel like I am just wasting away on earth, I feel worthless without this attention I feel sick. WHY in the world do I feel this way...I feel nauseous just thinking of it...I need serious help and really just want to die