fucked on the fourth of july...

[mexakitten]

i'm giving up on everything because everything is giving up on me...

it's not the rain talking...
the worst thing is trying to be over someone and realizing you can't do it...
trying to be genuinely into someone else...
because maybe you two have some things in common...
and he has a pretty stellar smile...
but even looking at him...makes you think of that other person..
and then you realize you aren't fooling anyone...
not even yourself...
so you do the things you said you wouldn't...
you call even though you said you shouldn't...
and you realize what an idiot you have become...
and you figure that they will always have this effect on you...
so you stand in the rain...
stare at the sky...
ask god to let lightening strike you...
anything to make you not feel like you are as worthless as they make you feel...

and i ask the question...
am i good for anything?
and i give myself the answer...
good for the things people don't talk about...
i'm good for secrets...

and that's when i give up...