the falling freon...is turning me on...
it's like whenever i stop thinking about him, or try to get him out of mind...
something brings him up...
and there are daily reminders...shit i shut out...shit i sit on...shit i just keep thinking about...
and it's not like this feeling hasn't been here for years...
and it's not like i thought it would go away, maybe just get smaller...or maybe my common sense would take care of any and all emotions that i have/had.
the worst part is knowing what you are doing and even though your mind says one thing, your heart is telling you something completely different...
multiple people told me we were meant...
but multiple people were wrong about others in my life...
sometimes i would just like to see what my life has set out for me in the next 5 to 10...
i've been sleeping in the last couple days...basically from the time i get home from work till the time i have to get up for work the next morning...
i really love what i am doing right now...
maybe just because i am so busy and the girl i work with isn't a fucking bitch...
plus i get to see charlie in a different setting, and it totally rules...
not only is the work good and i'm good at it...I make more money in like one day then I use to make in like a week at my other job...
I don't think I am going to know what to do with myself come pay day...
I might have also been a little depressed lately...just thinking about everything...
and i mean i'm still content with not having a boyfriend, because i know that i am in no way able to even deal with anyone on that level right now...
i still get lonely...and that sometimes has me comprimising my own goals and emotions for a quick fix...
i'm not doing anything (although i should be!), just thinking about what i could be doing, and who i could be doing that with...
there is just so much going on...
and well time will tell how it all pans out, but waiting is soooo hard....
all i want is for it to work out like i see it should...
more than anything i want it to make sense...
just for once...
I LOVE HAVING THE WEEKEND OFF!!!
something brings him up...
and there are daily reminders...shit i shut out...shit i sit on...shit i just keep thinking about...
and it's not like this feeling hasn't been here for years...
and it's not like i thought it would go away, maybe just get smaller...or maybe my common sense would take care of any and all emotions that i have/had.
the worst part is knowing what you are doing and even though your mind says one thing, your heart is telling you something completely different...
multiple people told me we were meant...
but multiple people were wrong about others in my life...
sometimes i would just like to see what my life has set out for me in the next 5 to 10...
i've been sleeping in the last couple days...basically from the time i get home from work till the time i have to get up for work the next morning...
i really love what i am doing right now...
maybe just because i am so busy and the girl i work with isn't a fucking bitch...
plus i get to see charlie in a different setting, and it totally rules...
not only is the work good and i'm good at it...I make more money in like one day then I use to make in like a week at my other job...
I don't think I am going to know what to do with myself come pay day...
I might have also been a little depressed lately...just thinking about everything...
and i mean i'm still content with not having a boyfriend, because i know that i am in no way able to even deal with anyone on that level right now...
i still get lonely...and that sometimes has me comprimising my own goals and emotions for a quick fix...
i'm not doing anything (although i should be!), just thinking about what i could be doing, and who i could be doing that with...
there is just so much going on...
and well time will tell how it all pans out, but waiting is soooo hard....
all i want is for it to work out like i see it should...
more than anything i want it to make sense...
just for once...
I LOVE HAVING THE WEEKEND OFF!!!