Write All Night (Spoiler_Song New Year Fic): Tiaras Are Cool
Tiaras Are Cool
“I wear a tiara now. Tiaras are cool.”
Amy shoved her hands to her mouth to muffle her laugh, but the humor rerouted through her nose, coming out in long nasally snorts. Her eyes scrunched up and began to leak from the hilarity. Unable to stand upright from so much hysterical exertion, she turned to her husband and threw herself into his chest and began to laugh sobs into his shoulder.
Rory wasn’t much better off himself, holding Amy with one arm and laughing into her hair so hard that he couldn’t even open his eyes. His wife’s hysterics were contagious, because they seemed to be making him worse, and he almost felt that he could use an inhaler thanks to his inability to take in a proper breath of air.
The Doctor raised his index finger menacingly, but thanks to the Barbie tiara on his head - bedazzled with fake pink jewels and trimmed with hot pink feathers - it only made him look akin to a spoilt child about to throw a tantrum. “This is the last time I play Truth or Dare with you, Song!”
River was stationed on his pilot’s seat, with her bare feet propped up on the console, while her stilettos hung from the monitor. Her laughter was aiding Rory’s and Amy’s and the muscles in her stomach were already aching; she could already tell that she was going to feel like she’d outrun a gang of Weeping Angels in the morning. “And you’re so wrong!” she managed to mock in a single sentence, before doubling over.
“You’ll shoot off a fez or a Stetson, but not a tiara?”
“I think it compliments his eyes,” Amy cackled.
“It’s more of a wonder than the crystal falls of Midnight!” River heartily agreed.
“Do a one Timelord rendition of The Nutcracker for us, Doctor!” Rory hollered over the cackling. Even the humming of the TARDIS had seemed to intensify to match all but The Doctor’s reactions.
Simultaneously, Amy’s and River’s sobs of hilarity tripled and they lifted their heads to look at each other, eyes shimmering. “He already has!” they shrieked, with Amy pointing a jiggly arm to the ill-fitting tights he wore under a prima ballerina tutu.
“Shut up!” he barked uselessly.
“Oh, Sweetie!” River wheezed. “You’re the most adorable Sugarplum Fairy I’ve ever seen!”
“I think he looks like a Pwetty Pwetty Pwincess!”
Rory shook his head in response to Amy’s remark. “Looks more like a beast than a beauty to me.”
“Sugarpuff princess pumpkin patch my arse!” The Doctor suddenly bellowed as he charged around the console. “Out! All of you, out! Game’s over, hasta la vista! Scram! Vamoose! Trip is over, TARDIS is closed!” As he ran at the newlyweds with his hands outstretched and curled as if to choke one if not both of them, he abruptly tripped over the toe shoes he was wearing and fell right into River, his head in her lap.
River leaned over with tears running down her face and grabbed him by the ears to pull his head up enough so that he was looking at her, but still low enough so that she looked daunting from his vantage point. She swiftly pressed her lips to his cheek, leaving a heavy magenta lip imprint, thankfully without hallucinogenic aide. “He’s right!” she airily announced to Rory and Amy. “Party’s over, dears. You’ll have to find something else to occupy your time with. Clearly, Mummy has to teach Daddy a few new dance moves tonight.”
Rory looped his arm around Amy’s waist and walked her to the doors, both of them still shivering with laughter. “Looks like The Doctor’ll get that Nutcracker performance after all…”