Stephen
HE IS SICK AND SAD AND I CAN'T BELIEVE HE DID THIS TO ME!!! HE MADE ME FEEL LIKE THERE WAS NO HOLE IN ME SAID I WAS GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM CLAIMED ME HE CLAIMED ME AS HIS LIFEMATE AND THEN HE WENT TO HER. WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE TO BE PERFECT HAVE TO BE PERFECT IN TWO DAYS HAVE TO BE SECURE, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU BE SECURE HE LEFT ME SO OBVIOUSLY IT WAS A BAD IDEA TO BE SECURE, BUT I WAS SECURE I THOUGHT HE LOVED ME AND I THOUGHT HE MEANT IT WHEN HE SAID I WAS GOOD ENOUGH. I WAS SECURE AND I WAS FULFILLED AND I FELT LIKE I WAS HIS WIFE ALREADY AND HE WAS HAPPY ABOUT THAT. CLAIMING SOMEONE AS YOUR LIFEMATE DOES NOT MEAN YOU LEAVE THEM TWO DAYS LATER FOR SOMENE ELSE WHO MAKES YOU HAPPY JUST BY TALKING WHICH MEANS YOU DON'T NEED TO HAVE SEX WITH THEM TO BE HAPPY, but he already told me I was good enough, he told me I was his lifemate and he lied. He lied to say he thinks that. Or he would have given me more then one day to calm down from the months I was alone. From the months I was alone, and then revealed all of my feelings towards him, everything I'd given up, he said, "Aris, I'm so sorry..." HE LIED SAYING HE WAS SORRY HE WAS NOT SORRY IF HE'S NOT EVEN GONNA LISTEN TO ME NOW. HE MADE ME LOSE MY SON AND THEN WOULDN'T HELP THE FIGHT TO KEEP HIM AWAY FROM ABUSIVE PEOPLE, BECAUSE HE "DID NOT WANT TO GET INVOLVED." YOU DO NOT CLAIM SOMEONE AS YOUR LIFEMATE IF YOU ARE GONNA LEAVE THEM THE NEXT DAY. I knew that word before, it was in my MySpace profile. How can you be so FUCKING SICK? How is it even possible for a human to act that way... one who considers himself a "true Christian," at that. One who even acts that way most of the time. But you are selfish and you blame your selfishness on me. YEAH I was upset. WHEN YOU WENT OFF ON YOUR OWN, YOU SLEPT ON BEDS IN KELETHIN, YOU HAD A WIFE MACRO THAT YOU USED ON ME AND THEN LAUGHED AT ME, YOU KNOW WHAT IT MEANS TO BE IN A GROUP IN A GAME, at least at times when you don't do it often, you went off by yourself you shouldn't have done that, even in a group with starngers you don't do that, we were together, YEAH I got upset BUT I TRIED TO APOLOGIZE, I WAS FINDING THE TIME TO SAY I'M SO SORRY, YOU HAVE BEEN WONDERFUL TO ME THANK YOU, I KNW YOU ARE SERIOUS AND I WILL NOT ACT THAT WAY AGAIN. AND MEAN IT. AND ACTUALLY HAVE DONE IT. But where is my "chance" if you get mad at me first, you were not mad on those nights so how can you be mad later? You curled up in my lap and went to sleep, you were not mad. I love you, I have lost everything for you, I would continue to lose everything for you, and probably will as it will be unlikely for me to keep my job now, the worst part is YOU ALWAYS DO THIS WHEN I AM ABOUT TO HAVE A GREAT JOB, OR AT A TIME WHEN I HAVE TO WORK AND WILL GET FIRED FOR IT, you always do the worst things when it will make me lose something, either when it is important to be able to handle my parents that day or when I am trying to get a job, can't you wait until after the job is secure? Can't you not tell me to check MySpace implying you did something good for me, when in fact instead you ripped me into shreads? You are happy in my arms and I do not freak out when you hold me, if you are there, answer me and then hug me if I ask, I do not freak out I calm down and stop, you always get your way when I need something done a certain way because eventually I calm down and let you, I KNEW I was freaked out the last two days and I was trying to tell you so, then trying to tell you ask you something on the phone, you be married, I get lost, I get NO CHANCE, you will not think about me if you are married, you will not care about me if you are married, if you are married I have no more chance, that is why I had to talk to you last night before you did so, you could have listened to me when I asked you to pay attention last night and you were not mad... but SOMETHING is always more important then me. Always.
I was secure in you you fuck. Until you ripped me into shreds. Fuck you for saying I should be secure. Fuck you for filling the hole in me if you didn't mean it, fuck you. I will love you to eternity and no one else is as good. You are my soulmate and I can feel that when we get in range of each other. Christina makes you laugh... but a friend can make you laugh, and make you just as happy. YOU LIE when you say you love me, because if you loved me you would not try to get me arrested JUST BECAUSE I KNOCKED ON YOUR DOOR TO SEE IF YOU WERE GETTING ON EQ THAT DAY. PEOPLE WHO LOVE EACH OTHER DON'T TRY TO GET THEM ARRESTED OR NOT DO EVERYTHING THEY CAN TO STOP IT. If you loved me you would worry about my emotions and not just my physical health... but only to a certain extence of course, because if I need help BECAUSE of my physical health, when I cannot walk, you will not give it to me. BUT DESPITE ALL THIS I LOVE YOU ANYWAY, if you ever did this to Christina I guaran-damn-tee you she would not want to be with you again. Even though you don't do any of this for me I love you anyway, and I don't CARE and I "know" you love me, that is... I knew you loved me when you said you did, I TRUSTED YOU you stupid fuck, and you proved me wrong once again. The only reason "know" is in quotation marks is because it obviously wasn't true, that you were going to stay with me when you acted like you would, calling me "baby" not an hour before, over the phone, I love you, I love you Aris, I'm sorry you lost all that for me but I'll make it worth it. No you did not say "I'll make it worth it" but you showed me that you would. AND IT WAS A FUCKING LIE. And I was so happy that my thousand dollars I spent was actually worth it... worth it to make it worse, to take all the pain I've felt my whole life, ERADICATE IT and then put it back again? I'd say conspiracy but I am not going to be that mean. Only Corey would do such a thing on purpose. Why don't you listen to me and see what I have to say, why don't you listen to me and see why I did what I did, why don't you listen to me and see that I love you?
Well I guess I am not good enough... someone who doesn't cry told you they like you, so all of a sudden your lifemate doesn't matter anymore.
I was secure in you you fuck. Until you ripped me into shreds. Fuck you for saying I should be secure. Fuck you for filling the hole in me if you didn't mean it, fuck you. I will love you to eternity and no one else is as good. You are my soulmate and I can feel that when we get in range of each other. Christina makes you laugh... but a friend can make you laugh, and make you just as happy. YOU LIE when you say you love me, because if you loved me you would not try to get me arrested JUST BECAUSE I KNOCKED ON YOUR DOOR TO SEE IF YOU WERE GETTING ON EQ THAT DAY. PEOPLE WHO LOVE EACH OTHER DON'T TRY TO GET THEM ARRESTED OR NOT DO EVERYTHING THEY CAN TO STOP IT. If you loved me you would worry about my emotions and not just my physical health... but only to a certain extence of course, because if I need help BECAUSE of my physical health, when I cannot walk, you will not give it to me. BUT DESPITE ALL THIS I LOVE YOU ANYWAY, if you ever did this to Christina I guaran-damn-tee you she would not want to be with you again. Even though you don't do any of this for me I love you anyway, and I don't CARE and I "know" you love me, that is... I knew you loved me when you said you did, I TRUSTED YOU you stupid fuck, and you proved me wrong once again. The only reason "know" is in quotation marks is because it obviously wasn't true, that you were going to stay with me when you acted like you would, calling me "baby" not an hour before, over the phone, I love you, I love you Aris, I'm sorry you lost all that for me but I'll make it worth it. No you did not say "I'll make it worth it" but you showed me that you would. AND IT WAS A FUCKING LIE. And I was so happy that my thousand dollars I spent was actually worth it... worth it to make it worse, to take all the pain I've felt my whole life, ERADICATE IT and then put it back again? I'd say conspiracy but I am not going to be that mean. Only Corey would do such a thing on purpose. Why don't you listen to me and see what I have to say, why don't you listen to me and see why I did what I did, why don't you listen to me and see that I love you?
Well I guess I am not good enough... someone who doesn't cry told you they like you, so all of a sudden your lifemate doesn't matter anymore.