I'm baaack, again.
Ok, I will be blogging more often once again.
I have a nice job. but a nice opportunity just came by, and if it emerges into a reality, i will tell more about it.
my boy situation is crazy. there is no one. but then, there is someone far away. but it feels fruitless and slightly annoying to play along like i think it's amazing. and there is a boy right there, but i'm so unsure of myself that i don't even consider going after it. in fact, i think i actually squash any possibility during random conversation by saying things like, " I never think of hooking up with people i work with" ...::slams head:: stupid stupid stupid.
Is it weird that I'd like to start chain smoking? Because I do. I really do want to.
I've gotten fat. Must diet. Very unhappy with how I look naked, currently. Although, pretty pleased with how I look with clothes on.
Is that an oxymoron?
Am I an oxymoron?
When did this post turn art-like? haha.
I've learned to laugh at myself a lot. I don't really take things too seriously anymore. I think it's because lots of crazy things have happened, and life isn't all its cracked up to be unless you are having fun.
I was subpoenaed to testify in a drunk driving case. I'm pretty sure I put away a friend of the family for 25 years minimum. And that hunts me, i mean, I have terrifying dreams that I did something wrong. But I really didn't have much a choice, whether or not I volunteered, they would have found me out through JoAnna. And everyone keeps telling me, it's not like you got shitfaced, and stole and drove a car without a license. And then I sigh, and say, yes this is true. But I've always been really responsible because I live my life afraid.
Did I mention, I live my life slightly afraid. Of the law. Of the bills. Of compiling interest. Of running out of gas (again). Of crashing. Of hurting.
Then I'll hit this surge of fearlessness and it's amazing and I enjoy it.
there's the oxymoron thing again!
hahah.
I'll be in touch, FriendsPage / Livejournal.
Love,
Mary
I have a nice job. but a nice opportunity just came by, and if it emerges into a reality, i will tell more about it.
my boy situation is crazy. there is no one. but then, there is someone far away. but it feels fruitless and slightly annoying to play along like i think it's amazing. and there is a boy right there, but i'm so unsure of myself that i don't even consider going after it. in fact, i think i actually squash any possibility during random conversation by saying things like, " I never think of hooking up with people i work with" ...::slams head:: stupid stupid stupid.
Is it weird that I'd like to start chain smoking? Because I do. I really do want to.
I've gotten fat. Must diet. Very unhappy with how I look naked, currently. Although, pretty pleased with how I look with clothes on.
Is that an oxymoron?
Am I an oxymoron?
When did this post turn art-like? haha.
I've learned to laugh at myself a lot. I don't really take things too seriously anymore. I think it's because lots of crazy things have happened, and life isn't all its cracked up to be unless you are having fun.
I was subpoenaed to testify in a drunk driving case. I'm pretty sure I put away a friend of the family for 25 years minimum. And that hunts me, i mean, I have terrifying dreams that I did something wrong. But I really didn't have much a choice, whether or not I volunteered, they would have found me out through JoAnna. And everyone keeps telling me, it's not like you got shitfaced, and stole and drove a car without a license. And then I sigh, and say, yes this is true. But I've always been really responsible because I live my life afraid.
Did I mention, I live my life slightly afraid. Of the law. Of the bills. Of compiling interest. Of running out of gas (again). Of crashing. Of hurting.
Then I'll hit this surge of fearlessness and it's amazing and I enjoy it.
there's the oxymoron thing again!
hahah.
I'll be in touch, FriendsPage / Livejournal.
Love,
Mary