Meh..->Sighs.<-
Yeah...I'm still pretty depressed. Right now I'm just...I dunno. ...o.o I don't know.v.v; I want my friends...I want my life. I want to enjoy life...I'm so burdened down with shit...I'm supposed to be great, I'm supposed to be the nice guy, always doing other people favors. I'm supposed to be this perfect person who always is supposed to help, and be kind, and gentle. But...I'm scared. I'm scared of so much... I'm scared of death, which is getting closer and closer... I'm scared of all these changes, I'm honestly just...not ready. I want to have fun with life, but it seems like no matter what I do, I have all this shit I have to do, I never have time to relax. I don't have any time to MY self. I want my friends...I want to have fun. I want so much, but I'll never get that, because I'm growing older. I never really had friends when I was really young, and I haven't had them long enough. I just want to have fun...I just want to spend some time with the people I love...but I'm stuck here, alone, lonely...no one to talk to, no one to be with...I'm just so damn lonely. I honestly am not ready for moving on...letting go of school, moving, leaving my friends, I don't want that. My whole life I've been moved around, I never really get to stay in the same spot.
Right now...I really want someone. Anyone...to do anything...just hang out with...just to talk to...just fucking anything right now.->Slams his fist into his fucking keyboard.<-.. Meh. I miss my good friends...those friends that were always there for me... Jerel was always wanting to have fun, I miss that. Josh...he was the best. He was always there...no matter what. He will always be my best friend.Tristan, man...we had some good times together.o.o Though not nearly enough. Leland...you were always wanting to play a good game. Joey, you can suck my dick, you weren't a friend, you were a bastard...>_> Most of the time. Pascagoula...that place is home to me. And I miss it so much...I miss the memories, and I honestly get jealous when I hear"Man, you should have been there." Or.."Me and so and so did such and such, it rawked." I miss being part of that...I miss seeing things, I miss everything. Now...I'm just stuck up here, I don't even have a fuckin' car to go down to see my friends.I miss everyone...
My whole life is planned out for me...I used to think it was a blessing...now I see that it's a curse...I can't change my mind, I can't do what I want...my life is just paved, I have this set destiny...o.o Wow, this sucks ass.
On..the brighter side, I'm going to Canada soon..kind of nervous about that. I can't wait though..^_^
That's all for now..
Right now...I really want someone. Anyone...to do anything...just hang out with...just to talk to...just fucking anything right now.->Slams his fist into his fucking keyboard.<-.. Meh. I miss my good friends...those friends that were always there for me... Jerel was always wanting to have fun, I miss that. Josh...he was the best. He was always there...no matter what. He will always be my best friend.Tristan, man...we had some good times together.o.o Though not nearly enough. Leland...you were always wanting to play a good game. Joey, you can suck my dick, you weren't a friend, you were a bastard...>_> Most of the time. Pascagoula...that place is home to me. And I miss it so much...I miss the memories, and I honestly get jealous when I hear"Man, you should have been there." Or.."Me and so and so did such and such, it rawked." I miss being part of that...I miss seeing things, I miss everything. Now...I'm just stuck up here, I don't even have a fuckin' car to go down to see my friends.I miss everyone...
My whole life is planned out for me...I used to think it was a blessing...now I see that it's a curse...I can't change my mind, I can't do what I want...my life is just paved, I have this set destiny...o.o Wow, this sucks ass.
On..the brighter side, I'm going to Canada soon..kind of nervous about that. I can't wait though..^_^
That's all for now..