Huh?
I'm not quite sure exactly what the hell happened at the theater today but I somehow snuck into a movie.
Now, this isn't bragging; I'm sure everyone reading this (does anyone still even read my updates anymore?) has done it at least once. Hell I watched The Simpsons Movie and Die Hard 4 twice in one day (long[ish] story) nay but a few months ago having paid for only one ticket.
But this was the first time I snuck into a movie by accident.
Accident?
Yeah, seriously what are the odds.
Explanation.
Done with finals and two hours to kill, I decide to check out the new multiplex at Westside Pavilion and catch a movie. Problem is, like their old movie theater, they're only playing obscure/indie films that I had never heard of, with the exception of "3:10 to Yuma," which only had a single showing three hours from then. Which was balls, because I wanted to see it.
So rather then wander the mall (I fucking hate malls) I pick a movie at random. "Juno" sounds interesting. Already started ten minutes ago, but I figure what with the inane amount of previews that theaters show, I'll be right on time.
"One student for Juno, 4:10."
"Okay. Theater 6, straight ahead."
I swear on my life I heard this man say "six."
I checked my ticket. It said six.
The jailbait usher checked my ticket. Even she said six.
I grab a seat and settle in. There's a little black kid on the screen riding a train with some hobos, playing guitar, and telling lies. Probably a preview for something, I think.
Wrong.
Now, knowing nothing about this movie, I would of course have no way of knowing if I was in the wrong theater, watching the wrong movie. But some ten or fifteen minutes later of wondering where exactly this movie is going with this, I realize that I'm watching "that Bob Dylan movie." As you might infer from that line I didn't know the title of it,so figured I was in the right place.
Stupid title though. I don't get it. Juno?
The fucking movie is called "I'm Not There," which very much sums up my experience when i figured out what happened.
Now I know what you're thinking. Computer error, right?
No.
I'm Not There wasn't even listed on the marquee, the showtimes or anywhere else in the building, so by all logical accounts, it shouldn't have even been playing at that theater. Yet somehow it was.
So I'm left wondering, what the fuck happened?
Had this been playing all day and no one noticed the fuck-up? Is Juno that unknown? Is everyone working in that theater illiterate? Was I "punked?" Or part of some social science experiment to test what people will complain about?
Are the theaters improperly numbered?
Why the fuck was an unlisted movie playing there?
And most puzzling, why was no one in the theater wondering why Juno wasn't playing? Did none of them know jackshit about Juno either? Or did the other twenty or so people in the room somehow mystically know that they could watch an unlisted, unadvertised, Bob Dylan biopic in that exact room at 4:10 on a Tuesday afternoon? Because not. a single. fucking. one of them seemed pissed off that Juno (or what was supposed to be Juno) wasn't playing.
I've been running over this shit in my head all evening and I can't figure it out.
..............should I demand a refund?
End
Edit: 1:15AM I just proofread this entry twice. I didn't even do that with the last paper I turned in for class...
Now, this isn't bragging; I'm sure everyone reading this (does anyone still even read my updates anymore?) has done it at least once. Hell I watched The Simpsons Movie and Die Hard 4 twice in one day (long[ish] story) nay but a few months ago having paid for only one ticket.
But this was the first time I snuck into a movie by accident.
Accident?
Yeah, seriously what are the odds.
Explanation.
Done with finals and two hours to kill, I decide to check out the new multiplex at Westside Pavilion and catch a movie. Problem is, like their old movie theater, they're only playing obscure/indie films that I had never heard of, with the exception of "3:10 to Yuma," which only had a single showing three hours from then. Which was balls, because I wanted to see it.
So rather then wander the mall (I fucking hate malls) I pick a movie at random. "Juno" sounds interesting. Already started ten minutes ago, but I figure what with the inane amount of previews that theaters show, I'll be right on time.
"One student for Juno, 4:10."
"Okay. Theater 6, straight ahead."
I swear on my life I heard this man say "six."
I checked my ticket. It said six.
The jailbait usher checked my ticket. Even she said six.
I grab a seat and settle in. There's a little black kid on the screen riding a train with some hobos, playing guitar, and telling lies. Probably a preview for something, I think.
Wrong.
Now, knowing nothing about this movie, I would of course have no way of knowing if I was in the wrong theater, watching the wrong movie. But some ten or fifteen minutes later of wondering where exactly this movie is going with this, I realize that I'm watching "that Bob Dylan movie." As you might infer from that line I didn't know the title of it,so figured I was in the right place.
Stupid title though. I don't get it. Juno?
The fucking movie is called "I'm Not There," which very much sums up my experience when i figured out what happened.
Now I know what you're thinking. Computer error, right?
No.
I'm Not There wasn't even listed on the marquee, the showtimes or anywhere else in the building, so by all logical accounts, it shouldn't have even been playing at that theater. Yet somehow it was.
So I'm left wondering, what the fuck happened?
Had this been playing all day and no one noticed the fuck-up? Is Juno that unknown? Is everyone working in that theater illiterate? Was I "punked?" Or part of some social science experiment to test what people will complain about?
Are the theaters improperly numbered?
Why the fuck was an unlisted movie playing there?
And most puzzling, why was no one in the theater wondering why Juno wasn't playing? Did none of them know jackshit about Juno either? Or did the other twenty or so people in the room somehow mystically know that they could watch an unlisted, unadvertised, Bob Dylan biopic in that exact room at 4:10 on a Tuesday afternoon? Because not. a single. fucking. one of them seemed pissed off that Juno (or what was supposed to be Juno) wasn't playing.
I've been running over this shit in my head all evening and I can't figure it out.
..............should I demand a refund?
End
Edit: 1:15AM I just proofread this entry twice. I didn't even do that with the last paper I turned in for class...