Talk w/ George
Well I gave Geos a call this afternoon. Interesting but we're right on the same page again and we're ready to split. I saw this road coming long ago, but I denied its presence.
When I say split, I don't mean from the band.... not in the least. I mean from the rest of the kingdom. The last straw was reached today.
I can't find it in my heart to see God's Kingdom in the current group of people with whom I am associated. I see the end of the road here, and I'm looking at a new road. I don't know what will happen any more.
I don't know which of us will try to stay and which of us will be going, but it's got to take a different path right here, right now. This path is no longer safe to traverse. There are too many roadblocks and the like in my way, that are set by none other than those who claim to be God's people.
I've run out of patience, and I've run out of temperance. I have to steer my life in a new direction in short order, and I believe that time will come sooner than not. As the day is cold, so is the path which I tread. I know where my decision will lie. If George goes and Joe goes, then I too will follow not far behind... not as a principle of following them, but as a principle that I cannot live my life down this road any longer.
But if my road twists down something darker, and goes in another direction other than the one I was taking, then I will follow it in good conscience and with good spirit, for I know for sure that no road may be traveled long in ill conscience.
Life is truly a journey and those that travel it must find their own way through the darkness to the light. Some find it in other locations than others. And still others will find it not at all. I want to be one of those that finds her path, no matter which direction that path may turn or take.
All that I know for sure is this: I need time to heal and time to recover and get over what has transpired in the past year and more. I find it sad to look upon a road that lasted nine years long and see that it takes such a sharp turn. Not saying that the decision itself is wrong, but I believe the right road will split many times and lead towards other directions.. and at those splits it is up to each of us to find their way.
Can I find my way on this path without God? No, I definitely cannot. Will God judge me for having different companions? I don't believe so.
When I say split, I don't mean from the band.... not in the least. I mean from the rest of the kingdom. The last straw was reached today.
I can't find it in my heart to see God's Kingdom in the current group of people with whom I am associated. I see the end of the road here, and I'm looking at a new road. I don't know what will happen any more.
I don't know which of us will try to stay and which of us will be going, but it's got to take a different path right here, right now. This path is no longer safe to traverse. There are too many roadblocks and the like in my way, that are set by none other than those who claim to be God's people.
I've run out of patience, and I've run out of temperance. I have to steer my life in a new direction in short order, and I believe that time will come sooner than not. As the day is cold, so is the path which I tread. I know where my decision will lie. If George goes and Joe goes, then I too will follow not far behind... not as a principle of following them, but as a principle that I cannot live my life down this road any longer.
But if my road twists down something darker, and goes in another direction other than the one I was taking, then I will follow it in good conscience and with good spirit, for I know for sure that no road may be traveled long in ill conscience.
Life is truly a journey and those that travel it must find their own way through the darkness to the light. Some find it in other locations than others. And still others will find it not at all. I want to be one of those that finds her path, no matter which direction that path may turn or take.
All that I know for sure is this: I need time to heal and time to recover and get over what has transpired in the past year and more. I find it sad to look upon a road that lasted nine years long and see that it takes such a sharp turn. Not saying that the decision itself is wrong, but I believe the right road will split many times and lead towards other directions.. and at those splits it is up to each of us to find their way.
Can I find my way on this path without God? No, I definitely cannot. Will God judge me for having different companions? I don't believe so.