Concentration zero percent at work today
The topic says it all. I really don't want to be here and I really haven't gotten a darned thing done at all today at the office, much to my shame.
What am I doing instead? Thinking about the guy who played Legalos in Lord of the Rings. His real name: Orlando Bloom. He's kind of cute. I'm not sure what it is.. I like his face and his features. He's got a nice body and stuff, too. Maybe it's the pointy ears. LOL Then again it could be just that I'm lonely and really wishing for someone.
Maybe that in and of itself makes me more vulnerable to thinking guys are cute. I don't know what it is that I want. We've got a band meeting tonight to hang out and watch some good stuff, which is all fun and perfectly fine, but by the same token, I find myself really wishing for something more. Something better, and something else.
I don't know what it is. I don't really feel sad, but I'm just kinda blah. A little bit down for no real reason. I talked to Miaka last night about some stuff in terms of her boyfriend and what she thinks it's like. Funny thing is she put off sex as "overrated" as thought it's the least meaningful thing in the world to her, and yet a month and a half ago, she was dying to do it with anyone. She gets herself a boyfriend and now sex is just "overrated" to her. Funny how things come about. I asked her what she thought about having a boyfriend and how it made her feel. Mostly because I don't have one, and haven't had one for 9 years, so I wonder what it must be like sometimes. I catch myself day dreaming sometimes...
And so we get to the topic of the day: Daydreams. If you're not interested in my further ramblings, then stop here.
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I was thinking today about what it would be like to have someone and was trying to imagine how good it would feel. And more specifically, daydreaming about Orlando Bloom. Call me crazy, or love-sick, or just plain stupid, but I really thought about that today. It would be pretty cool, actually. Attracting the attention of someone famous, someone who is really cute, you know. And not just that, but having someone like that who really cared about me. Cared about me in terms of wanting to be with me and spend time with me. Someone who would put his arms around me and make me giggle and laugh. Someone who would share all the good times and the struggles as well with me.
I thought it would be neat to be with someone who would teach me archery and the like. I have always been fascinated with archery, but have never possessed the means to really look into it. That's something I would like to do eventually.
Secondly on my list: a new pair of roller blades? Finally after a long time without, I am seriously debating a new pair come spring that I can take around UNM and get some good exercise with. Walking the dog is good to a point, but it gets dull quickly. I kind of miss rollerblading. Concentrating on nothing but where you're going and how you're going to get there. That's a neat thing.
And of course there's always the desire to ride a harley. That would be so much fun. I would love to ride a harley at sunset and just drive across the desert alone. No one to tag along, and no one to bother me... just me and the wind.
Many times I wonder what it would be like to be with someone else. To me, it's like feeling a gentle hand on my cheek like a light wind brushing by. A long hug that reminds me of warm blankets and security of being locked in someone's embrace. The feeling of another's breath on my neck, warm and comforting. His voice would be a deep rich timbre and quiet, reminding me of gentle thunder in my ears. Whispers of I love you. Golden sunsets together in the park. And when he laughs, my heart smiles inside of me and all is well with the world. I could write so many songs about him. Songs that are full of hope, love, friendship and passion.
But then reality comes crashing in and I know he's not here. I know I'm alone. But for that one instant when I can make believe... it's magic and it feels so good. Makes me wish I could sleep and dream of him forever. Locked in the warmth of sleep and the warmth of his ethereal embrace. I wake up and there is nothing. The warm feeling vanishes in the empty room and flees my empty heart.
I need more coffee.
What am I doing instead? Thinking about the guy who played Legalos in Lord of the Rings. His real name: Orlando Bloom. He's kind of cute. I'm not sure what it is.. I like his face and his features. He's got a nice body and stuff, too. Maybe it's the pointy ears. LOL Then again it could be just that I'm lonely and really wishing for someone.
Maybe that in and of itself makes me more vulnerable to thinking guys are cute. I don't know what it is that I want. We've got a band meeting tonight to hang out and watch some good stuff, which is all fun and perfectly fine, but by the same token, I find myself really wishing for something more. Something better, and something else.
I don't know what it is. I don't really feel sad, but I'm just kinda blah. A little bit down for no real reason. I talked to Miaka last night about some stuff in terms of her boyfriend and what she thinks it's like. Funny thing is she put off sex as "overrated" as thought it's the least meaningful thing in the world to her, and yet a month and a half ago, she was dying to do it with anyone. She gets herself a boyfriend and now sex is just "overrated" to her. Funny how things come about. I asked her what she thought about having a boyfriend and how it made her feel. Mostly because I don't have one, and haven't had one for 9 years, so I wonder what it must be like sometimes. I catch myself day dreaming sometimes...
And so we get to the topic of the day: Daydreams. If you're not interested in my further ramblings, then stop here.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was thinking today about what it would be like to have someone and was trying to imagine how good it would feel. And more specifically, daydreaming about Orlando Bloom. Call me crazy, or love-sick, or just plain stupid, but I really thought about that today. It would be pretty cool, actually. Attracting the attention of someone famous, someone who is really cute, you know. And not just that, but having someone like that who really cared about me. Cared about me in terms of wanting to be with me and spend time with me. Someone who would put his arms around me and make me giggle and laugh. Someone who would share all the good times and the struggles as well with me.
I thought it would be neat to be with someone who would teach me archery and the like. I have always been fascinated with archery, but have never possessed the means to really look into it. That's something I would like to do eventually.
Secondly on my list: a new pair of roller blades? Finally after a long time without, I am seriously debating a new pair come spring that I can take around UNM and get some good exercise with. Walking the dog is good to a point, but it gets dull quickly. I kind of miss rollerblading. Concentrating on nothing but where you're going and how you're going to get there. That's a neat thing.
And of course there's always the desire to ride a harley. That would be so much fun. I would love to ride a harley at sunset and just drive across the desert alone. No one to tag along, and no one to bother me... just me and the wind.
Many times I wonder what it would be like to be with someone else. To me, it's like feeling a gentle hand on my cheek like a light wind brushing by. A long hug that reminds me of warm blankets and security of being locked in someone's embrace. The feeling of another's breath on my neck, warm and comforting. His voice would be a deep rich timbre and quiet, reminding me of gentle thunder in my ears. Whispers of I love you. Golden sunsets together in the park. And when he laughs, my heart smiles inside of me and all is well with the world. I could write so many songs about him. Songs that are full of hope, love, friendship and passion.
But then reality comes crashing in and I know he's not here. I know I'm alone. But for that one instant when I can make believe... it's magic and it feels so good. Makes me wish I could sleep and dream of him forever. Locked in the warmth of sleep and the warmth of his ethereal embrace. I wake up and there is nothing. The warm feeling vanishes in the empty room and flees my empty heart.
I need more coffee.