Fan Fiction: Is this it? 1/1
Title: Is this it?
Author: Metriosity
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Rating: PG13
Summary: After the airport.
It was over. Again. This time though Callie got the feeling that there would be no catastrophe to bring them both to their senses. She felt numb, everywhere. Another love. Another run away. People were staring at her, muttering to one another. Discussing her life and watching her humiliation. It had happened with George. With Erica. Now with the one person she thought would never run from her.
It felt as though she were naked in the middle of a room full of people. Stripped bare, with all her scars on show to the world. Nightmares do come true and it felt as though she were consistently living one. For a few moments everything would be beautiful and then the world would contort and shift until it was a Dali painting. Surreal and oddly grotesque. A mockery of what it could have been.
How was it that she always got herself into this position. Strong, defiant, passionate Calliope. Beaten down and left assaulted on the floor. Left to drag herself into whatever dark corner she could find. The door was closing now, the gate was being sealed. But still she held the vain hope that Arizona would burst through and announce her undying love. Like in the movies. The movies always had a scene like that. The crowd would slowly start to applaud as they kissed one another, refusing to let go of their soul mate. Arizona would come running through the gate. She had to. Callie would stand here until she did. She had to be right in the path of Arizona's frantic search for her. Ready to scoop Arizona up in her arms and forgive her for her brief lapse in judgement.
"Excuse me Miss." Callie stared at the door, it would fly open at any moment. "Miss?" Callie wished the person trying to distract her would fly away and let her have her clear space for the big reconciliation. "Miss. I'm going to have to ask you to move aside. This is a high traffic area." She wasn't going anywhere. Arizona needed to see her right in front of the door. A sensation on her arm caused her to jerk away instinctively. "Miss. Please. Don't make me call security... Its been 40 minutes. She isn't coming back." Lies. There was no way it had been thirty minutes. Arizona had only just left. And she was coming back. Any moment now.
Her vision was obscured by the face of an overly made up flight attendant. Her eyes held pity. Callie didn't need pity. Arizona would be back any second and then everything would be right. "Please Miss. Come sit down." Callie scowled and tried to look beyond the woman to the door. Slowly, like she was digesting lead, Callie's stomach began to feel heavy. Looking back to the woman, she swallowed deep.
"The plane left." It wasn't a question. Callie didn't need to question. It was gone and with it was her last hope that she would have true love and happiness. The attendant was trying to guide her towards a seat. But Callie couldn't stand here any more. She couldn't be in the place where everything had been ripped from her in an instant. Sure, she hadn't really wanted to go to Africa. Sure she may have possibly made that known to Arizona once or twice a week while in Africa. But now she wasn't going at all and she had been abandoned. Publicly. No quiet parking lot. No cowering husband in private. This was the worst humiliation she had ever felt. It didn't matter these people were strangers. They had been witness to the end of her hopes. Voyeurs into her destruction and she hated each and every one of them for it. Most of all, she hated Arizona for putting her through that. How dare she. How dare she leave her here. Going off to do her charity work and leaving Callie stranded.
Callie took one last glimpse around the gate area and turned on her heels. Eyes followed her. Burning into her skin like cigarette's. Her eyes filled with tears. She couldn't control it. She had no say in any of this. Another thing Arizona had taken with her. Control. Callie was outside before she knew it. Cold air stinging her face. Dropping her bag to the pavement she closed her eyes and took a deep cleansing breath. How was she going to explain this to everyone? Torres got dumped again. That's all they would be talking about. That's all they ever talked about. Other people's misery, Screw them. All of them. Hailing a cab she took another steadying breath. Torres won't be breaking down in front of all you vultures this time. I won't give you anything to feed on. Resolute she slipped into the cab. "Where to?" The cabby didn't look back. Which she was relieved for. She didn't need more people seeing her bloodshot, tear stained eyes.
She almost gave her address opposite the hospital. But that wasn't her home any more. The subletters arrive in the morning. "The Archfield." Her voice was strained. She lay her head back against the seat and closed her eyes.
"Missing the family?" Callie opened her eyes and saw the cabby looking at her in the rear view. Mistaking her misery for home sickness. She could run with that. She nodded slowly and lay her head back against the cushion once again. "Never mind eh. You'll be home soon enough." Callie wanted to go home. To see her family. Sure things were still a little strained. But one hug from her mom and everything would be right with the world. Here, she didn't have a home. Home is where the heart is and her heart just flew off to Malawi.
The ride was silent after that. She was grateful that she hadn't hailed the taxi driver who wanted to talk all the time. They drove her nuts when she wasn't upset. The Archfield valet port came into view. "Here we are." The driver gave her a warm smile and she tipped him for that warmth. She needed some of that right now. He grinned widely as the full extent of the tip dawned on him. "Hey thanks!" Callie waved absentmindedly over her shoulder, already en route to the lobby.
Check in was a breeze. They even had her old room available. She wasn't sure she wanted to be there, as that was the scene of her first night of abject misery. But it was the nearest thing to a safe, quiet place she had right now. Declining a bell hop to take her bag she took the elevator towards her room. Within moment she had collapsed on the bed. It took only seconds for the weight of her crushed heart to reach critical mass and tears erupted with the force of a tsunami. Clinging to a pillow she allowed her misery and pain to flow from her in torrents. Each wave crashing harder than the last until slowly the tide began to subside.
I deserve so much more than this crap. I can do better. By myself. I don't need anyone else. No one can handle my ... My awesomeness. I will make every single one of them regret walking away.
Slowly but surely she sat up and nodded to herself. For a moment she was strong and defiant. Angry and bitter. They will rue the day they crossed me. She didn't need anyone. But as she stared across the room she felt there was one person she needed more desperately than anyone. A man who had not let her down once in her life. A constant companion and friend. There for her when she needed him most, with warmth and good times.
Jack Daniels.
The mini bar was empty within an hour. Empty bottles lay across the floor like fallen soldiers. Valiant and brave. Their lives sacrificed for the cause. It wasn't until her 10th mini bottle of whatever she could reach next, that Callie realized her mistake. With the liquor running wild like fire through her veins, her defenses had been abandoned. And misery was creeping up like fog over the beachhead. As oblivion began to take its hold Callie could think only one thing. Her loss... My loss... Its over.