it's not working
another saturday without laughter or good conversation or happiness, really. i didn't have to work today...i did race for the cure. i did make a random trip to walmart with aubrey. i didn't tan. i haven't showered. i didn't workout...or even run. or even walk! i didn't even eat. (although, i did drink two PINKs) 20 calories. not bad. i did something really really stupid the other night. i sent jeremy an IM...i was a little tipsy. but that doesn't matter. i shouldn't have done it! i got into this conversation with ellen about why we couldn't work and why we always fail...and i started thinking. but then i had to let jeremy know what i was thinking. i'm so stupid about stuff like that! i don't know when to keep it to myself. ah well. i'm certain he's used to my flightiness after these last few years.
so casey and i aren't doing so hot. i mean, not that anyone is really shocked. it's hard to get too close to someone you don't see or speak to. it was almost like dating when you were in the seventh grade. you didn't really want to talk on the phone. you weren't allowed to go out on dates alone. you just had the title...with no substance. the worst part is, i think i could've fallen for real for this kid. who knows...the possibity is still definitely there. but i'm quite certain that no matter what, i'll always be let-down. so i won't hold my breath.
on a lighter note---i'm going to anderson in LESS THAN ONE WEEK!!!! i'm so stoked (i want this word to come back)! i can't wait to see the kirby's and spange and the AU kids i up&left...and la chas! yum!!
i've finally paid off almost all of my debts (one credit card payment away)! and i've saved up four-digits in the account. which, for me, is amazing.
what do you do with a christmas present you bought for someone that you very well may never see again?**this is vital---i can't afford to be out 50 bones.
i watched benjy on tv earlier today. i looked at him and thought about where i could be right now. i could be married. i could be rich. i could be sorta famous. would i be happy? did i make a mistake? can i break up his marriage? OK i didn't think that last one...my day wasn't THAT bad!
i'm going to go for a drive and indulge in my biggest weakness and addiction.
i miss myself. i hope i come back soon.
kir.
so casey and i aren't doing so hot. i mean, not that anyone is really shocked. it's hard to get too close to someone you don't see or speak to. it was almost like dating when you were in the seventh grade. you didn't really want to talk on the phone. you weren't allowed to go out on dates alone. you just had the title...with no substance. the worst part is, i think i could've fallen for real for this kid. who knows...the possibity is still definitely there. but i'm quite certain that no matter what, i'll always be let-down. so i won't hold my breath.
on a lighter note---i'm going to anderson in LESS THAN ONE WEEK!!!! i'm so stoked (i want this word to come back)! i can't wait to see the kirby's and spange and the AU kids i up&left...and la chas! yum!!
i've finally paid off almost all of my debts (one credit card payment away)! and i've saved up four-digits in the account. which, for me, is amazing.
what do you do with a christmas present you bought for someone that you very well may never see again?**this is vital---i can't afford to be out 50 bones.
i watched benjy on tv earlier today. i looked at him and thought about where i could be right now. i could be married. i could be rich. i could be sorta famous. would i be happy? did i make a mistake? can i break up his marriage? OK i didn't think that last one...my day wasn't THAT bad!
i'm going to go for a drive and indulge in my biggest weakness and addiction.
i miss myself. i hope i come back soon.
kir.