Soul searching
Some things have caused me to turn and look upon inside myself, I'm realizing more and more that I'm nto a real person... I'm just a selected amount of attitudes and such that I observe and emulate as to seem like I'm a real person, particularly with anime char's that I like I guess, if there's even enough of a real me to like something.. : /
I'm pretty sure it makes me sad looking into myself and seeing that there's absolutely nothing there, I've tried to fill this so much with things I think that perople satisfied with their lives or something along that line have; particular morals keeping me from doing random "pleasurable" things: drinking, smoking, meaningless sex... Though I still hold desperately onto the last of these, thinking that somehow not partaking in it makes me a good natured person or some meaningless shit like that, btu I don't know... There's nothing I've seen from myself and people who've held the same ideals for much longer than I... I don't see anything good or enlightening or anything like that about forgoing such things. This isn't really the point, but an example at me looking at the pointless things that I'm trying to use to justify to myself that I am a real person just like everyone else but I just feel like a husk randomly changing masks from person to person, situation to situation.
... who am I?
No one.
I'm pretty sure it makes me sad looking into myself and seeing that there's absolutely nothing there, I've tried to fill this so much with things I think that perople satisfied with their lives or something along that line have; particular morals keeping me from doing random "pleasurable" things: drinking, smoking, meaningless sex... Though I still hold desperately onto the last of these, thinking that somehow not partaking in it makes me a good natured person or some meaningless shit like that, btu I don't know... There's nothing I've seen from myself and people who've held the same ideals for much longer than I... I don't see anything good or enlightening or anything like that about forgoing such things. This isn't really the point, but an example at me looking at the pointless things that I'm trying to use to justify to myself that I am a real person just like everyone else but I just feel like a husk randomly changing masks from person to person, situation to situation.
... who am I?
No one.