Ever have a day where you want to just hide and never surface again because you're so miserable?
Yeah, today was one of those days. I also got the unique experience of driving while crying for the first time, and the radio wasn't helping much because it kept trying to play songs that were fucking depressing when paired with my situation and thoughts.
Is it bad that I want to be selfish and not help out at my dad and grandparents' places? But I can't say no, either. Which then brings forward certain selfish horrible thoughts, which then makes me feel utterly miserable and guilty.
I need to figure out funeral clothes. I don't want to, but I'm going to have to. At this point, I'm just waiting for the phone call.
At least I got to see my relatives (including the visiting ones) today. And assist in dumpster diving in search of half a pair of missing teeth (which weren't found and are therefore somewhere else that is Not In the Dumpster).
Today was horrible. I want to die before I get old. I don't want to put myself, my family, or my friends through a similar situation to what we've been dealing with.
And the choice of music is depressing. Why am I listening to this?
Is it bad that I want to be selfish and not help out at my dad and grandparents' places? But I can't say no, either. Which then brings forward certain selfish horrible thoughts, which then makes me feel utterly miserable and guilty.
I need to figure out funeral clothes. I don't want to, but I'm going to have to. At this point, I'm just waiting for the phone call.
At least I got to see my relatives (including the visiting ones) today. And assist in dumpster diving in search of half a pair of missing teeth (which weren't found and are therefore somewhere else that is Not In the Dumpster).
Today was horrible. I want to die before I get old. I don't want to put myself, my family, or my friends through a similar situation to what we've been dealing with.
And the choice of music is depressing. Why am I listening to this?