(no subject)
Its monday. Its cold. i wish i was drunk or stoned. maybe then i wouldn't have to think about how bad i'm going to miss her. My phone keeps ringing. Its pretty annoying. Fuck them. they can wait. I stare at the wall and cant help but think how much i'm going to miss her. 10:45 am comes around and i dont really want to do anything. so i do a bunch of things. Go cancel my old bank acct. Go to the postal office. Start talking this this oriental lady that is speaking to slow that she sounds like a sub wolfer. Get back from lunch only to think about her again. fuck i hate thinking. Hurts. I can picture it now. Being Lonely. hmm...its something i should be used to. Very used to. but im not. i dont want to be. I love her. i think back to every good moment ive had in my life. Sure enough there she is. Laughing. Crying. Shouting at me. Moaning with me. good times. and yet every time i think of a good times. There she is. Now she is moving away. Not away from me but away from my bedside.i miss her already. I think of how many times she put me in from of herself. speechless for 15 minutes. i can't believe how lucky i am. she did all that for me. i dont deserve it. Yet her heart loves me.she loves me. and she continues to give to me. her love. Her pain. Her everything. Crazy. Yet i picture what it would be like without her in my life. Darkness. thats all. yea thinking hurts. I wish i could repay her. im going to miss being able to wrap my arm around her. Or get annoyed that she wants to use my computer. i cant forget her smile. her pought. Yet i know ill see her almost everyday. i know. shes just a click or hpnoe call away.
fuck thinking hurts.
fuck thinking hurts.