let me explain something to you about karaoke

[metasynthie]

There seems to be a bit of confusion about me and karaoke. Some of my friends know me as someone you really want to drag to do karaoke, because I always sing, even songs that nobody remembers who picked them. Other friends are like "I know you don't do karaoke, you never come out for it." I think I can clear this up: there are two types of karaoke and I only do one of them. Many of you may be familiar with these two types as "places you can go to rent a little room to do karaoke in" and "karaoke nights at bars." I think of them as white people careyokee and actual karaoke instead. Ok, I'll admit that I'm only being HALF-serious in my racialized snobbery about what may be one of the most ludicrous social innovations to come out of Japan -- and there are many of those. But I still won't do the first kind.

See, karaoke (kah-rah-oh-kay) was invented in Japan in the early 1970s. It blossomed into a huge alcohol-fueled business revolving around rental of karaoke machines for parties, and "karaoke boxes," suites of little rooms where you can pay by the hour to party with your friends. Then the concept spread to the United States and Europe, where people called it karaoke (care-ee-oh-kee) and importers convinced bars and lounges to buy machines as additional entertainment to lure patrons in. Now, it's not like there are not karaoke bars in East Asia, or like there are no karaoke boxes here (although most of them are owned and run by East Asians...) But the result is two divergent forms of entertainment. Let me provide you with a checklist:

Karaoke

• relatively private -- invite only!
  
• bring your own beer and food
  
• pay by the hour
  
• relatively few people, shorter waits to sing
  
• loungey rooms with big couches
  
• you run the karaoke machine
  
• ridiculously gigantic song lists in several binders, often with hundreds of east asian songs included
  
• horribly cheesy videos play in background
  
• often involves deliberately stupid or hammy singing, but you don't care because for the most part it's your drunk friends, not strangers; part of the point is that you can be more goofy and crazy and expressive out of the public eye, with no real performance pressure

Careyokee

• open to the public aged 21+
  
• funded by you and others paying for alcohol at the bar
  
• but basically free to get in
  
• often really long lines, probably not going to sing more than once or twice, and may have to wait an hour or more for that
  
• it's in a bar
  
• karaoke machine run by management, sometimes cranky / favoritist
  
• usually no video for viewer benefit, visual focus is on performance of the singer
  
• size of song list varies, but in my experience shorter
  
• sometimes dominated by people who are actually trying to sing well, as if they're competing on American Idol. Or by regulars who watch closely and evaluate people in a semi-competitive fashion on how well they sing. There's more pressure to sing well since you're inflicting your performance on a group of strangers. Although this may feel obnoxious / less fun... it makes sense given the context, because it IS annoying when there's bad or deliberately horrible singing, by some drunken idiot your don't know and who spilled a drink on your seat ten minutes ago

I hope that explains the difference, and why I will never do Careyokee and don't even particularly like watching it. I was kind of shocked at the difference when I first discovered the western version in my late teens, and it has always felt to me like it's a bastardization that's lost much of the original spirit and social value that makes me like karaoke in the first place.

In conclusion, SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL EAST ASIAN COMMUNITIES, TAKE YOUR FRIENDS TO A KARAOKE ROOM TODAY. (AND BUY SOME SOJU AND FRIED CHICKEN DOWN THE STREET BEFORE YOU GO.)