ST Drabbles for Bridge2Sickbay Prompt: Gag Reel
Five offerings for tonight.
Nero/Spock -- Inappropriate Messages
Spock picked up the comm message from an unknown source, and was surprised to see Nero's face. Which was strange in and of itself, and not just because Nero was, well, deceased.
Spock, Nero said. I look forward to the destruction of your planet. And every planet around it. I've been waiting for this day my whole life. You will die. Your people will die. J.J. Abrams will die. You will all die. And we will live. Me. And my Romulan lover, Ayel. We stand apart. Except when we're together. Having sex. Lots of sex. Sex you can only imagine. We have sex celebrating the destruction of your people. Together. Because Romulans do not have heteronormative constraints. It is just another way in which we are superior to your species. Plural.
The transmission ended there, and Spock stared in shock. Apparently, 20 years plotting revenge meant that Nero had a lot of time on his hands. And access to a delayed relay messenger. Illogical. Such a revenge would serve no purpose. And who was this J.J. Abrams?
Uhura/Gaila -- You just closed his face in the door!
"I find the fact that you picked up a transmission very interest--OW!"
Kirk was whimpering on the other side of the door, and Nyota, even though she really didn't like him, she hadn't mean to actually hurt him, and when she turned around, mortified, she sees Gaila looking scandalized. Which, for a half naked Orion was quite an accomplishment.
"You just closed the door in his face!" Gaila exclaimed.
Nyota straightened her shoulders. "Yeah, well, he deserved it."
"I like his face," Gaila pouted, looking at Nyota reproachfully.
Nyota rolled her eyes. "You and everybody else," she muttered under her breath, slipping into her nightgown and then into the bathroom.
Gaila followed her in, still not quite having mastered the concept of 'personal space'. "I told him I loved him," she announced.
"Gaila--" Nyota sighed as she washed her face. "You don't seriously love Kirk."
"Maybe I do," Gaila said, tentatively.
Nyota pushed aside her feelings to frown at her roommate. "Gaila..." she sighed and picked up her toothbrush. "What did he say?"
"'That is so weird,'" Gaila quoted, and Nyota smiled at the southern Californian dialectical influence in her voice. "But then he seemed to be jealous when I mentioned other guys."
"Of course he's jealous," Nyota replied, rinsing her mouth out. "You're gorgeous."
Gaila preened at the compliment, as Nyota intended. "You really think so?"
"Yeah," Nyota smiled, and reached out to touch Gaila's arm softly with her fingertips. "So forget about that loser and get some sleep before the test tomorrow, okay?"
"Okay," Gaila agreed, and Nyota left her there to flop onto her bed, pulling the blankets around her with a sigh.
Kirk/McCoy -- Bones' Talented Tongue
Lay in a course Mister Sul--" Jim trails off, because he'd just caught sight of Bones making...not exactly a face. When Bones turns to face him, however, his eyebrow is raised, and Jim has to clear his throat and grasp for some captainly composure. "...for Starbase 351, Mister Sulu."
"Aye, Captain," Sulu replies, sounding slightly unsure.
Jim glances at Bones again only to see that same fucking face. It's obscene the way Bones is teasing him with his tongue and that mouth and reminding him of just what they were up to in the turbolift before his shift.
What's worse is the way Bones is giving him this innocent act, like he doesn't know what's getting Jim worked up. And that is just not gonna work for him. "Bones--my ready room?"
"You need something, Jim?" Bones asks once they're alone.
"Yeah, as a matter of fact..." Jim smirks and pushes Bones against the wall and he's tasting that tongue, the last lingering flavor of himself that Bones was tormenting him with on the bridge.
When he pulls back, Bones is looking flustered and panting softly, and he slides his tongue across his lower lip, making Jim groan. "...yeah, you gotta stop making those faces."
Kirk/McCoy -- How'd your dick get in my mouth?
McCoy had warned the kid that he might throw up on him. So when he does, and his head ends up in Kirk's lap, he's not surprised.
What /is/ surprising is what makes him grin when he sits up.
"Hey, kid," he says, taking another swig from the flask they'd shared earlier.
The kid, for his part, looks slightly embarrassed and won't meet his eyes. "Yeah?"
"How'd your dick get in my mouth?"
Kirk/Spock -- OMIGOD (ValleyGirlisms)
Captain," Spock murmured from his science station. "I believe we're experiencing ionic turbule--turbo--turbulan--omigod!"
The entire bridge crew turned to look at the Vulcan, who flushed bright green.
"I...apologize for my outburst," Spock said hastily. "I believe that the iconic--ionin--omigod." Even Spock looked surprised at himself.
Sulu laughed, attempting to hide it behind a cough.
Jim cracked a smile, but something's obviously not right here. "...Bridge to sickbay. Bones, is there some reason that Spock is speaking Valley Girl?"
There's a pregnant pause before McCoy's voice comes over the channel. "...come again?"
"That's what Nyota said," Spock snickered.
Jim looked over his shoulder at Spock, who was, by now, bright green, and obviously horrified and struggling with himself.
"Make that Valley Girl with a side of Douche Bag," Jim clarified. "I'm sending him down. Do me a favor and fix whatever it is. Before Mister Spock's lapse he mentioned something about ionic radiation."
"Aye, Captain," Bones replied, dutifully, but not without obvious incredulity.
"Captain, I'm afraid I have no idea to what you are referring," Spock insists. "My apparent lack of control in no way is like, totally detrimental for my post."
Jim does laugh then. "Yeah, but I can't take anything you say seriously. Go see Bones."
"Omigod, I hate you," Spock replied petulantly, and stomped to the turbolift.
Nero/Spock -- Inappropriate Messages
Spock picked up the comm message from an unknown source, and was surprised to see Nero's face. Which was strange in and of itself, and not just because Nero was, well, deceased.
Spock, Nero said. I look forward to the destruction of your planet. And every planet around it. I've been waiting for this day my whole life. You will die. Your people will die. J.J. Abrams will die. You will all die. And we will live. Me. And my Romulan lover, Ayel. We stand apart. Except when we're together. Having sex. Lots of sex. Sex you can only imagine. We have sex celebrating the destruction of your people. Together. Because Romulans do not have heteronormative constraints. It is just another way in which we are superior to your species. Plural.
The transmission ended there, and Spock stared in shock. Apparently, 20 years plotting revenge meant that Nero had a lot of time on his hands. And access to a delayed relay messenger. Illogical. Such a revenge would serve no purpose. And who was this J.J. Abrams?
Uhura/Gaila -- You just closed his face in the door!
"I find the fact that you picked up a transmission very interest--OW!"
Kirk was whimpering on the other side of the door, and Nyota, even though she really didn't like him, she hadn't mean to actually hurt him, and when she turned around, mortified, she sees Gaila looking scandalized. Which, for a half naked Orion was quite an accomplishment.
"You just closed the door in his face!" Gaila exclaimed.
Nyota straightened her shoulders. "Yeah, well, he deserved it."
"I like his face," Gaila pouted, looking at Nyota reproachfully.
Nyota rolled her eyes. "You and everybody else," she muttered under her breath, slipping into her nightgown and then into the bathroom.
Gaila followed her in, still not quite having mastered the concept of 'personal space'. "I told him I loved him," she announced.
"Gaila--" Nyota sighed as she washed her face. "You don't seriously love Kirk."
"Maybe I do," Gaila said, tentatively.
Nyota pushed aside her feelings to frown at her roommate. "Gaila..." she sighed and picked up her toothbrush. "What did he say?"
"'That is so weird,'" Gaila quoted, and Nyota smiled at the southern Californian dialectical influence in her voice. "But then he seemed to be jealous when I mentioned other guys."
"Of course he's jealous," Nyota replied, rinsing her mouth out. "You're gorgeous."
Gaila preened at the compliment, as Nyota intended. "You really think so?"
"Yeah," Nyota smiled, and reached out to touch Gaila's arm softly with her fingertips. "So forget about that loser and get some sleep before the test tomorrow, okay?"
"Okay," Gaila agreed, and Nyota left her there to flop onto her bed, pulling the blankets around her with a sigh.
Kirk/McCoy -- Bones' Talented Tongue
Lay in a course Mister Sul--" Jim trails off, because he'd just caught sight of Bones making...not exactly a face. When Bones turns to face him, however, his eyebrow is raised, and Jim has to clear his throat and grasp for some captainly composure. "...for Starbase 351, Mister Sulu."
"Aye, Captain," Sulu replies, sounding slightly unsure.
Jim glances at Bones again only to see that same fucking face. It's obscene the way Bones is teasing him with his tongue and that mouth and reminding him of just what they were up to in the turbolift before his shift.
What's worse is the way Bones is giving him this innocent act, like he doesn't know what's getting Jim worked up. And that is just not gonna work for him. "Bones--my ready room?"
"You need something, Jim?" Bones asks once they're alone.
"Yeah, as a matter of fact..." Jim smirks and pushes Bones against the wall and he's tasting that tongue, the last lingering flavor of himself that Bones was tormenting him with on the bridge.
When he pulls back, Bones is looking flustered and panting softly, and he slides his tongue across his lower lip, making Jim groan. "...yeah, you gotta stop making those faces."
Kirk/McCoy -- How'd your dick get in my mouth?
McCoy had warned the kid that he might throw up on him. So when he does, and his head ends up in Kirk's lap, he's not surprised.
What /is/ surprising is what makes him grin when he sits up.
"Hey, kid," he says, taking another swig from the flask they'd shared earlier.
The kid, for his part, looks slightly embarrassed and won't meet his eyes. "Yeah?"
"How'd your dick get in my mouth?"
Kirk/Spock -- OMIGOD (ValleyGirlisms)
Captain," Spock murmured from his science station. "I believe we're experiencing ionic turbule--turbo--turbulan--omigod!"
The entire bridge crew turned to look at the Vulcan, who flushed bright green.
"I...apologize for my outburst," Spock said hastily. "I believe that the iconic--ionin--omigod." Even Spock looked surprised at himself.
Sulu laughed, attempting to hide it behind a cough.
Jim cracked a smile, but something's obviously not right here. "...Bridge to sickbay. Bones, is there some reason that Spock is speaking Valley Girl?"
There's a pregnant pause before McCoy's voice comes over the channel. "...come again?"
"That's what Nyota said," Spock snickered.
Jim looked over his shoulder at Spock, who was, by now, bright green, and obviously horrified and struggling with himself.
"Make that Valley Girl with a side of Douche Bag," Jim clarified. "I'm sending him down. Do me a favor and fix whatever it is. Before Mister Spock's lapse he mentioned something about ionic radiation."
"Aye, Captain," Bones replied, dutifully, but not without obvious incredulity.
"Captain, I'm afraid I have no idea to what you are referring," Spock insists. "My apparent lack of control in no way is like, totally detrimental for my post."
Jim does laugh then. "Yeah, but I can't take anything you say seriously. Go see Bones."
"Omigod, I hate you," Spock replied petulantly, and stomped to the turbolift.