Blind, Chapter 2

[captainraz]

Title: Blind
Author: captainraz
Rating & Warnings: PG implied violence and angst
Prompt: blind
Word Count: 1008
Summary: Remus ignores a warning from Tonks about Greyback. Greyback's revenge has dire consequences for both of them, and for their relationship.
Author's notes: Set HBP-era. Think i may have fixed the linking lol. made one or two

Comments

[lizetm]

I love where you took it from the last chapter, but I felt that a great amount of detail was missing. It just seem a bit unrealistic, like you never mentioned Tonks crying, and I'm sure she would've. It just took away from the last, very intense chapter.

Still, I enjoyed it. Great job! :D

[captainraz]

hmmm, i can see what you mean about Tonks crying, but i sort of imagined her going into professional Auror mode. when something bad happens, even to someone you love, you go on automatic pilot and thats what i imagined Tonks doing.still, i guess i oculd ahve pointed that out.

i'll bear your comments in mind, but i'm glad you liked it anyways :)

[lizetm]

Oh, I can definitely see that, yeah, but what meant by everything that I said was that unfortunately it didn't move me like I thought it would have. I think if you could have gone into more detail when it came to Tonks' inner feelings, you know, fear for him and relief for having him back at the same time, it would have been much better. Cuz we want to feel what the characters are feeling, and I felt that this was much on the surface level, like...how can I put this...like it was all very passive.

I hope I don't sound too harsh, I just want to let you know what was missing for me. :D

[anonymous]

OMG, talk about ripping your gut out! Or eyes, rather! Reading on...

whoops

[phe_o]

that was me, sorry. I'm always doing that!