(no subject)
Title: Deck The Halls
Author: killerforhire_
Format: Fic
Rating & Warnings: PG
Prompts: history and bells
Word Count: 2299
Summary: Decorating the house in time for Christmas has proven to be a task out of Remus' and Sirius' abilities. Tonks shows up to save the day.
Author’s Notes: I tried to delay posting this as long as possible because I honestly was very disappointed in it and tried my best to make it to better. But, alas, deadline is almost here.
Remus Lupin and Sirius Black were lounging in the living room of Number 12 Grimmauld Place. One was reading a book titled A History of Western Society and the other was reading a muggle magazine titled Playboy. One was drinking Earl Grey tea and the other was drinking firewhiskey.
The living room looked like somebody had tried to get into the Christmas spirit but gave up about a quarter way through. There was some lights, some streamers, and a small ball on the branches of the tree. The box in the middle of the living room was filled to the brim with miniature Santas, angels and candy canes. Apparently western society and uh, the very informative articles in Playboy were much more interesting and important than putting some colour in an old, drab house.
Remus Lupin and Sirius Black heard the front door open and close, and they looked in each other's eyes with pure terror.
Sirius, if it's Molly, hide that thing NOW.
Wait till we hear a voice or a clatter in the kitchen.
They heard a clatter in the kitchen. "Remus, Sirius! It's Molly! How're the Christmas decorations going?"
HIDE IT NOW!
Sirius threw the magazine and firewhiskey under the couch. Remus ran out of the living room to try to distract Molly.
"Oh hi, Molly. Didn't expect to see you so soon." Remus called as he went out.
Sirius stayed in the room and tried to add some more decorations while he still could. He grabbed a handful of candy canes from the box and put them on the branches of the tree hastily. The design looked completely random, but it was something that would stave off anger from Molly.
Oh, Sirius, what're you doing? You're a wizard!
Sirius took out his wand and tried to make a room decorated beautifully in about 10 seconds. It looked terrible, but it looked done.
"I... This room certainly looks interesting."
Sirius turned around and saw Molly with a look of disapproval on her face. Remus' face behind her told Sirius that he had tried to stop her.
You didn't try hard enough.
Well, next time you should actually do some work instead of reading that magazine of yours.
Don't you try to pull that on me, Mr. Sophisticated Proper English Gentlemen with my incredibly relevant history text.
While Sirius and Remus were arguing by using the expression on their faces they completely neglected to hear Molly's suggestions about what could be done to make the room look better. They really didn't care if they could make the room look better or not. They were much more interested in expressing exasperation with their eyebrows.
"...I can't trust men to do a good job of decorating things. Tonks is getting off work in a couple of hours. I'll ask her if she can come by."
Remus and Sirius both stopped their argument and turned to face Molly.
"I'd love to have my dear cousin here to get Remus and I into a fabulous Christmas spirit."
"How nice of you, Sirius. Remus, do you have any objections?"
Aside from the fact that I've been incredibly attracted to her ever since she said she found the Napoleonic Wars absolutely fascinating, no.
"Um, I, uh--"
"Of course Remus doesn't have any objections. Right, Remus?"
Remus looked into Sirius' eyes.
Why are you doing this to me?
Because I can. Never had Sirius' cheshire smile terrified Remus as much as it did now.
Remus eventually backed down to Sirius' grin. "I would love to have Nymphadora over, Molly."
"Fantastic. I'll owl her and then get started on some tea. Would either of you like some tea?"
"Remus just had some Earl Grey but I would adore some, Molly."
Molly walked out of the living room with Sirius trailing behind. Remus threw two fingers behind Sirius' back, but as if Sirius had eyes in the back of his head, he did the same to Remus.
--------------------------------------------
Remus was sitting on his bed in his room. He was staring at a picture of Napoleon in his history book. There was Napoleon on his white horse crossing the Alps, unafraid to conquer Europe.
Tonks had been in the house for about twenty minutes. He heard her trip and set off Mrs. Black. He heard her laugh as she had a conversation with Sirius.
Remus couldn't get on his own to legs to leave the room. He was afraid to be within 10 feet of her.
"Oy, Remus! Let's get this show on the road!"
Remus dog-eared the page with Napoleon and closed his book.
"Alright, Sirius! I'll be down!"
Remus got up and looked at himself in the mirror.
My hair is kind of untidy. She looks like she'd like untidy. Or is that just underestimating her? The shirt's kind of wrinkled. I can't really fix that.
"Remus! Come on!"
"Alright, alright! Hold on!"
Who am I kidding? I'm no Napoleon Bonaparte. I might as well be on Elba my entire life.
Remus left the room and went down the stairs. He saw that she had a rather conservative chestnut brown hairstyle for the day instead of purple or pink.
"I thought I'd never see the day where there was a normal hair colour on your head." Remus had a goofy smile on his face and Sirius spotted it right away.
"Don't you know that song that with the line 'chestnuts roasting on an open fire'? Da da da da da?"
"I'm sure I do, I just don't remember it right now." The smile just got bigger and bigger and the glint in Sirius' eyes just got more mischevious and mischevious.
"I thought it was a well shot at some Christmas spirit."
"No harm in trying." Remus' voice had gotten softer at this point and Sirius could almost die from tears of internal laughter.
"Right-o, kids. Molly said we should get cracking and I say that we must. Remus, Tonks, you two will rearrange the living room. I will be in the kitchen making some fabulous eggnog. If you need me, just ring that little bell on the table and I'll be right here."
Sirius, I could kill you right now.
I love you too, Remus.
"Remember, kids! Just ring the little bell!"
Sirius left the room with an uncharacteristic bounce in his step. Remus and Tonks looked at each other and laughed.
Tonks looked around the room with a skeptical smile on her face.
"I guess you guys put no thought into the arrangement of this room, huh?"
"Considering it was a product of Sirius' ten second magic, I'd say yes."
"What an accomplished wizard he is."
"The best of the best."
Tonks moved to the tree and began taking off the decorations. Remus was absolutely at a loss of what to say. He didn't want idle chit-chat but he didn't want complete silence either. He looked through the box and pretended to be rummaging for something in particular while thinking of a topic.
"So, Remus. Anything new? A book? A record?"
Remus looked up and saw her well-meaning face. He couldn't think straight when he looked at that face.
"Um, well. I'm reading this history book."
Tonks laughed.
"What's so funny?"
"You're such a history nerd. I'm reading a history book right now too. Well, it's not really history. Fictionalized history. Dramatized history."
"Oh really?"
"I'm reading Antony and Cleopatra right now. I'm going through it kind of slow but I'm sure I'll get into it."
"Ah, Antony and Cleopatra. One of the most famous couples in history."
"Would you like to name any more?" Tonks was wearing an award-winning smile when she said this. It almost erased any knowledge of history before she existed in Remus' mind. "Or can you not just remember any right now?"
Remus was embarrassed that he had not acted fast enough. "I, well... There was Sampson and Delilah."
"That's kind of depressing. Delilah sold Sampson out."
"I wasn't aware you were expecting me to name fairy tale romances."
"Fairy tale romances are the only things a girl wants to hear. Dysfunctional romances are the only things a girl really wants."
"So you want me to speak of what you will not have?"
"Either that or I'm ringing the bell and asking Sirius for some entertainment."
"You doubt my entertainment abilities?"
"Did I stutter?"
"If you insist."
Remus took some streamers off the wall as Tonks waited for a nice history lesson.
"Well, Tonks, since you seem to like Napoleon, I have a story. Napoleon was involved with a woman named Josephine. He loved her like you wouldn't believe. He wrote the most enamorous letters to her. Pretty much gave her everything. Now, Josephine was having an affair during one of Napoleon's many conquests. When he found out he was incredibly heartbroken. He wrote a letter to his brother pouring out his heart and soul and the English intercepted the letter. Keep in mind, the English and the French hated each other's guts, so naturally, they printed the letter in the newspapers. Napoleon was the laughing-stock of Europe, but he didn't divorce Josephine. He loved her too much... Well, eventually he did because he wanted an heir, but that's besides the point. He loved her even though she was unfaithful."
Tonks held some candy canes in her hand and just looked at Remus.
"I wanted fairy tale, not dysfunctional."
"Well, sorry."
"You must have more."
"Tons more. I'm a history nerd, don't forget that."
Remus took some more streamers as he tried to think of more couples. He felt Tonks' gaze on his back and could barely concentrate on the task at hand. Remus turned around with a smile on his face.
"I've got a story. And believe me, it's very fairy tale."
"Go on ahead, Remus."
"I will Nymphadora."
"Oh, shut up."
Remus chuckled to himself and stepped a little closer to her.
"Well, you know how they worked in the dynasties of China. You either had the Mandate of Heaven or you didn't. Well, the Ming Dynasty was beginning to lose grips. There was some internal threat as well as threats from tribes from Manchuria. The ruler was at the Great Wall to defend against the Manchus but his priorites changed when he heard something horrible. The person who wanted to take over from the inside wanted to make the ruler's fiance his concubine. So for the ruler, it was either to lose your empire and keep your fiance or just lose your fiance... He decided to let the Manchus in and keep his fiance. If that's not fairy tale, I honestly don't know what is."
Tonks was silent for a few moments while she looked at him very intensely. She took some steps and closed the gap between them to about only a foot.
"Would you ever do that, Remus?"
"Do what?" Remus couldn't think properly because of how close they were.
"Would you give up your entire empire for the girl you loved?"
Yes! Yes! I'd give all that and more!
"Did anyone ring the bell?"
Sirius had appeared in the doorway. He had a very mischevious and knowing smile on his face.
Why, Remus, what's going on here?
Nothing now that you showed up. GET OUT.
You're giving me details.
"You two have very animated eyebrows." Tonks' wide smile as she said this nearly killed Remus with affection and nearly killed Sirius with internal laughter.
"It comes with years of practice. You see, dear Tonks, we sat across the room from each other in Charms and Remus wasn't exactly the best lip reader."
"Says who?!"
"Says I, Remus! Anyway, by year five we were pretty much experts at expressing exactly what we were saying through facial expressions."
"And I see that eyebrows are very prominent in this language." Tonks tried wiggling her eyebrows to express some message.
"Twitches of the mouth help too, dear cousin."
Remus put his arm around Sirius and tried to lead him out of the room. "So, dear friend of many years I regret, is this fabulous eggnog ready?"
"Where are you taking me Remus?"
"To the hallway so we can make sure you got the recipe correct."
"Why can't we do this in the living room?"
"Because it's the ultra-secret Marauder eggnog."
Sirius looked at Remus in confusion and then in understanding. "Ahh..." Sirius let himself be led outside of the room till they were well away from the doorway of the living room.
"Why was my cousin so close to you?"
"She walked up to me! Nothing to do with it, I swear!"
"I saw that goofy smile of yours before I left."
"Doesn't mean a thing."
"It means everything."
Remus had indignance flashing all over his face. Sirius had the smile Remus always wanted to punch him for.
"Hey, you guys! This eggnog tastes horrible!"
Remus looked at Sirius in confusion.
"I haven't the slightest idea how to make eggnog. I just boiled milk with firewhiskey," Sirius whispered.
"What?!"
"Shh!"
"Sorry. I mean, what?!" Remus tried to shout in the quietest voice he could.
Remus shook his head and began walking down the hall towards the kitchen. "Nymphadora, you might not want to drink that!"
"Don't call me Nymphadora! Oh my god, this is horrible!"
Sirius looked at Remus as he walked down the hall. Sirius smiled to himself and went up the stairs. His job was done today.
----------------------------
"Yes, Nymphadora. I would give up my entire empire for the girl I loved."
Author: killerforhire_
Format: Fic
Rating & Warnings: PG
Prompts: history and bells
Word Count: 2299
Summary: Decorating the house in time for Christmas has proven to be a task out of Remus' and Sirius' abilities. Tonks shows up to save the day.
Author’s Notes: I tried to delay posting this as long as possible because I honestly was very disappointed in it and tried my best to make it to better. But, alas, deadline is almost here.
Remus Lupin and Sirius Black were lounging in the living room of Number 12 Grimmauld Place. One was reading a book titled A History of Western Society and the other was reading a muggle magazine titled Playboy. One was drinking Earl Grey tea and the other was drinking firewhiskey.
The living room looked like somebody had tried to get into the Christmas spirit but gave up about a quarter way through. There was some lights, some streamers, and a small ball on the branches of the tree. The box in the middle of the living room was filled to the brim with miniature Santas, angels and candy canes. Apparently western society and uh, the very informative articles in Playboy were much more interesting and important than putting some colour in an old, drab house.
Remus Lupin and Sirius Black heard the front door open and close, and they looked in each other's eyes with pure terror.
Sirius, if it's Molly, hide that thing NOW.
Wait till we hear a voice or a clatter in the kitchen.
They heard a clatter in the kitchen. "Remus, Sirius! It's Molly! How're the Christmas decorations going?"
HIDE IT NOW!
Sirius threw the magazine and firewhiskey under the couch. Remus ran out of the living room to try to distract Molly.
"Oh hi, Molly. Didn't expect to see you so soon." Remus called as he went out.
Sirius stayed in the room and tried to add some more decorations while he still could. He grabbed a handful of candy canes from the box and put them on the branches of the tree hastily. The design looked completely random, but it was something that would stave off anger from Molly.
Oh, Sirius, what're you doing? You're a wizard!
Sirius took out his wand and tried to make a room decorated beautifully in about 10 seconds. It looked terrible, but it looked done.
"I... This room certainly looks interesting."
Sirius turned around and saw Molly with a look of disapproval on her face. Remus' face behind her told Sirius that he had tried to stop her.
You didn't try hard enough.
Well, next time you should actually do some work instead of reading that magazine of yours.
Don't you try to pull that on me, Mr. Sophisticated Proper English Gentlemen with my incredibly relevant history text.
While Sirius and Remus were arguing by using the expression on their faces they completely neglected to hear Molly's suggestions about what could be done to make the room look better. They really didn't care if they could make the room look better or not. They were much more interested in expressing exasperation with their eyebrows.
"...I can't trust men to do a good job of decorating things. Tonks is getting off work in a couple of hours. I'll ask her if she can come by."
Remus and Sirius both stopped their argument and turned to face Molly.
"I'd love to have my dear cousin here to get Remus and I into a fabulous Christmas spirit."
"How nice of you, Sirius. Remus, do you have any objections?"
Aside from the fact that I've been incredibly attracted to her ever since she said she found the Napoleonic Wars absolutely fascinating, no.
"Um, I, uh--"
"Of course Remus doesn't have any objections. Right, Remus?"
Remus looked into Sirius' eyes.
Why are you doing this to me?
Because I can. Never had Sirius' cheshire smile terrified Remus as much as it did now.
Remus eventually backed down to Sirius' grin. "I would love to have Nymphadora over, Molly."
"Fantastic. I'll owl her and then get started on some tea. Would either of you like some tea?"
"Remus just had some Earl Grey but I would adore some, Molly."
Molly walked out of the living room with Sirius trailing behind. Remus threw two fingers behind Sirius' back, but as if Sirius had eyes in the back of his head, he did the same to Remus.
--------------------------------------------
Remus was sitting on his bed in his room. He was staring at a picture of Napoleon in his history book. There was Napoleon on his white horse crossing the Alps, unafraid to conquer Europe.
Tonks had been in the house for about twenty minutes. He heard her trip and set off Mrs. Black. He heard her laugh as she had a conversation with Sirius.
Remus couldn't get on his own to legs to leave the room. He was afraid to be within 10 feet of her.
"Oy, Remus! Let's get this show on the road!"
Remus dog-eared the page with Napoleon and closed his book.
"Alright, Sirius! I'll be down!"
Remus got up and looked at himself in the mirror.
My hair is kind of untidy. She looks like she'd like untidy. Or is that just underestimating her? The shirt's kind of wrinkled. I can't really fix that.
"Remus! Come on!"
"Alright, alright! Hold on!"
Who am I kidding? I'm no Napoleon Bonaparte. I might as well be on Elba my entire life.
Remus left the room and went down the stairs. He saw that she had a rather conservative chestnut brown hairstyle for the day instead of purple or pink.
"I thought I'd never see the day where there was a normal hair colour on your head." Remus had a goofy smile on his face and Sirius spotted it right away.
"Don't you know that song that with the line 'chestnuts roasting on an open fire'? Da da da da da?"
"I'm sure I do, I just don't remember it right now." The smile just got bigger and bigger and the glint in Sirius' eyes just got more mischevious and mischevious.
"I thought it was a well shot at some Christmas spirit."
"No harm in trying." Remus' voice had gotten softer at this point and Sirius could almost die from tears of internal laughter.
"Right-o, kids. Molly said we should get cracking and I say that we must. Remus, Tonks, you two will rearrange the living room. I will be in the kitchen making some fabulous eggnog. If you need me, just ring that little bell on the table and I'll be right here."
Sirius, I could kill you right now.
I love you too, Remus.
"Remember, kids! Just ring the little bell!"
Sirius left the room with an uncharacteristic bounce in his step. Remus and Tonks looked at each other and laughed.
Tonks looked around the room with a skeptical smile on her face.
"I guess you guys put no thought into the arrangement of this room, huh?"
"Considering it was a product of Sirius' ten second magic, I'd say yes."
"What an accomplished wizard he is."
"The best of the best."
Tonks moved to the tree and began taking off the decorations. Remus was absolutely at a loss of what to say. He didn't want idle chit-chat but he didn't want complete silence either. He looked through the box and pretended to be rummaging for something in particular while thinking of a topic.
"So, Remus. Anything new? A book? A record?"
Remus looked up and saw her well-meaning face. He couldn't think straight when he looked at that face.
"Um, well. I'm reading this history book."
Tonks laughed.
"What's so funny?"
"You're such a history nerd. I'm reading a history book right now too. Well, it's not really history. Fictionalized history. Dramatized history."
"Oh really?"
"I'm reading Antony and Cleopatra right now. I'm going through it kind of slow but I'm sure I'll get into it."
"Ah, Antony and Cleopatra. One of the most famous couples in history."
"Would you like to name any more?" Tonks was wearing an award-winning smile when she said this. It almost erased any knowledge of history before she existed in Remus' mind. "Or can you not just remember any right now?"
Remus was embarrassed that he had not acted fast enough. "I, well... There was Sampson and Delilah."
"That's kind of depressing. Delilah sold Sampson out."
"I wasn't aware you were expecting me to name fairy tale romances."
"Fairy tale romances are the only things a girl wants to hear. Dysfunctional romances are the only things a girl really wants."
"So you want me to speak of what you will not have?"
"Either that or I'm ringing the bell and asking Sirius for some entertainment."
"You doubt my entertainment abilities?"
"Did I stutter?"
"If you insist."
Remus took some streamers off the wall as Tonks waited for a nice history lesson.
"Well, Tonks, since you seem to like Napoleon, I have a story. Napoleon was involved with a woman named Josephine. He loved her like you wouldn't believe. He wrote the most enamorous letters to her. Pretty much gave her everything. Now, Josephine was having an affair during one of Napoleon's many conquests. When he found out he was incredibly heartbroken. He wrote a letter to his brother pouring out his heart and soul and the English intercepted the letter. Keep in mind, the English and the French hated each other's guts, so naturally, they printed the letter in the newspapers. Napoleon was the laughing-stock of Europe, but he didn't divorce Josephine. He loved her too much... Well, eventually he did because he wanted an heir, but that's besides the point. He loved her even though she was unfaithful."
Tonks held some candy canes in her hand and just looked at Remus.
"I wanted fairy tale, not dysfunctional."
"Well, sorry."
"You must have more."
"Tons more. I'm a history nerd, don't forget that."
Remus took some more streamers as he tried to think of more couples. He felt Tonks' gaze on his back and could barely concentrate on the task at hand. Remus turned around with a smile on his face.
"I've got a story. And believe me, it's very fairy tale."
"Go on ahead, Remus."
"I will Nymphadora."
"Oh, shut up."
Remus chuckled to himself and stepped a little closer to her.
"Well, you know how they worked in the dynasties of China. You either had the Mandate of Heaven or you didn't. Well, the Ming Dynasty was beginning to lose grips. There was some internal threat as well as threats from tribes from Manchuria. The ruler was at the Great Wall to defend against the Manchus but his priorites changed when he heard something horrible. The person who wanted to take over from the inside wanted to make the ruler's fiance his concubine. So for the ruler, it was either to lose your empire and keep your fiance or just lose your fiance... He decided to let the Manchus in and keep his fiance. If that's not fairy tale, I honestly don't know what is."
Tonks was silent for a few moments while she looked at him very intensely. She took some steps and closed the gap between them to about only a foot.
"Would you ever do that, Remus?"
"Do what?" Remus couldn't think properly because of how close they were.
"Would you give up your entire empire for the girl you loved?"
Yes! Yes! I'd give all that and more!
"Did anyone ring the bell?"
Sirius had appeared in the doorway. He had a very mischevious and knowing smile on his face.
Why, Remus, what's going on here?
Nothing now that you showed up. GET OUT.
You're giving me details.
"You two have very animated eyebrows." Tonks' wide smile as she said this nearly killed Remus with affection and nearly killed Sirius with internal laughter.
"It comes with years of practice. You see, dear Tonks, we sat across the room from each other in Charms and Remus wasn't exactly the best lip reader."
"Says who?!"
"Says I, Remus! Anyway, by year five we were pretty much experts at expressing exactly what we were saying through facial expressions."
"And I see that eyebrows are very prominent in this language." Tonks tried wiggling her eyebrows to express some message.
"Twitches of the mouth help too, dear cousin."
Remus put his arm around Sirius and tried to lead him out of the room. "So, dear friend of many years I regret, is this fabulous eggnog ready?"
"Where are you taking me Remus?"
"To the hallway so we can make sure you got the recipe correct."
"Why can't we do this in the living room?"
"Because it's the ultra-secret Marauder eggnog."
Sirius looked at Remus in confusion and then in understanding. "Ahh..." Sirius let himself be led outside of the room till they were well away from the doorway of the living room.
"Why was my cousin so close to you?"
"She walked up to me! Nothing to do with it, I swear!"
"I saw that goofy smile of yours before I left."
"Doesn't mean a thing."
"It means everything."
Remus had indignance flashing all over his face. Sirius had the smile Remus always wanted to punch him for.
"Hey, you guys! This eggnog tastes horrible!"
Remus looked at Sirius in confusion.
"I haven't the slightest idea how to make eggnog. I just boiled milk with firewhiskey," Sirius whispered.
"What?!"
"Shh!"
"Sorry. I mean, what?!" Remus tried to shout in the quietest voice he could.
Remus shook his head and began walking down the hall towards the kitchen. "Nymphadora, you might not want to drink that!"
"Don't call me Nymphadora! Oh my god, this is horrible!"
Sirius looked at Remus as he walked down the hall. Sirius smiled to himself and went up the stairs. His job was done today.
----------------------------
"Yes, Nymphadora. I would give up my entire empire for the girl I loved."