Comments | metamorfic_moon: "Merry Christmas, Darling"

shoebox_addict in metamorfic_moon

"Merry Christmas, Darling"

Dec 14, 2006 14:28

Title: Merry Christmas, Darling ( Read more... )

romance, christmas moon fic advent, shoebox_addict

Comments 16

(The comment has been removed)

shoebox_addict December 14 2006, 21:24:02 UTC

Thanks soooo much for all the feedback, I am delighted you liked it especially since I've been off fanfiction for so long!

I will take your ideas into consideration. Thanks for the thoughts! Um, if I were to revise it, would I re-post it here, or what? Just wondering.

Thanks again!!! ^__^

mrstater December 14 2006, 21:26:55 UTC

If you do any revisions, you can just edit the original post.

Oh, and could you do a word count and add that in? Just helps the readers and the record keeping. :)

shoebox_addict December 14 2006, 21:27:31 UTC

Okey dokey, thanks!

I didn't do one? Sorry! I'll fix that!

mrstater December 14 2006, 21:22:24 UTC

Aw, so cute. You've done a lot of difficult things really well here, First off, the dream in the beginning is very cute; lots of times "and then she woke up" can feel like a bit of a cheat, but it really works with the way Tonks is worrying throughout the piece about whether Remus will make it home in time. It's really cute she dreams about him calling her Nymphadora, and her not minding. Which is, in a way, a hint that it's not real, LOL ( ... )

devonwood December 17 2006, 20:35:27 UTC

The first paragraph or so was a little more jumbled and stilted, and it didn't really set the mood. However, by the end with Tonks in her red and green hair, I was feeling the Christmas spirit.

I loved the both Remus and Tonks wanted to get rid of their kids and have some alone time (Wait...that didn't come out right. :D). Maybe just a little work on connecting sentences instead of blocking and chopping them off is needed. :)

-Dev

shoebox_addict December 18 2006, 17:33:03 UTC

Thanks for the feedback! Glad you liked it! :)

Merry Christmas!

molly_coddles December 17 2006, 22:19:46 UTC

Ah, a howling baby; what a way to wake up from a lovely dream. I like the "Will Santa still come?" question and the truthful 3-year-old-tact in the "I like him when he's not crying" lines from Emma. Very sweet.
And what a Christmas gift! Alone time! And finishing up with thoughts of Mad-Eye's kissing abilities really made me chuckle!

Happy Holidays!

shoebox_addict December 18 2006, 17:35:06 UTC

Lol! Thanks so much!! I'm so glad you liked it!!

Merry Christmas! ^__^

gilpin25 December 18 2006, 20:48:14 UTC

This was a nice read. I really liked what you did with the children - they didn't take the story over, they acted like real children, and they had normal names, which was a very refreshing change! And you got some good lines into it as well; I think my favourite is Tonks imagining Remus' eyebrows waggling at her suggestively, though the one about Mad-Eye is a close second, and I also liked Tonks morphing her hair into festive colours, to match the candles etc.

I hope this has got you back into the groove again and Happy Christmas!

shoebox_addict December 18 2006, 21:06:28 UTC

Thank you sooo much! I really appreciate your feedback and I'm so pleased that you liked it! :)

It really has and now I keep wanting to write Christmas-y fanfiction! Lol. Merry Christmas to you too! ^__^