Want Part I by Gilpin25

Jun 18, 2008 23:55

Title: Want - Part I
Author: gilpin25
Rating & Warnings: R (Mainly for sex, but mild swearing, description of torture.)
Prompts:
I was alone, I took a ride/I didn’t know what I would find there/Another road where maybe I/Could see another kind of mind there. Got To Get You Into My Life - The Beatles.
Word prompt: Want
Word Count: 11,285 (Bring a ( Read more... )

the beatles and the bard, romance, angst, gilpin25

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Review, part one katyhasclogs July 13 2008, 00:49:10 UTC
I'm so sorry this review is so late. I read this a little while after you posted it, but I wanted to reread before I commented, and I'm afraid the distractions of JS&MN have meant that's been rather delayed.

This is such a rich, intense fic that I think it would be best to review it a section at a time.

Section one: I love this as a scenario for a first kiss; it being sort-of planned and sort-of spur of the moment fits them so well and the hesitation and then reciprocation creates a nice bit of tension. I also really love Tonks’ description of him, that he’s not some hunk and she knows it, but that that’s part of what attracts her to him. (And I liked him not being exceptionally tall - I’ve always found it weird in the films that David Thewlis is loads taller than Gary Oldman, when I’ve always pictured Sirius as the taller of the two.)

Section two: I think it’s just perfect to have Sirius giving all those interesting insights. He’s so often badly served in R/T fanfic IMO, and yet in GoF he has loads of insights just like this, so it felt very in character, and the side of Sirius I’ve always loved. I think the insights themselves are also really brilliant - it felt so typically Remus that the sensible girls he thought he liked were too dull for him, and of course he was “all about fitting in”. I also really liked the way Tonks thwarted all Remus’ arguments, so brilliant, and exactly what he needs. ;)

Section three: This section comes as a bit of a shock after the last two, which is really effective, I think. It’s grim. (And of course, by grim, I don’t mean your writing; it’s grim in the way that those darker Mike Leigh films are grim.) The torture and the reality of what Remus goes through are just horrific, it has such an impact. And the little bits of humour (another Mike Leigh-ish element) only serve to emphasize that. I loved the line about Andromeda and exploding snap. I also thought you took a really interesting angle on Tonks feelings about the transformations. That she feels jealous and excluded seems totally plausible, as did their ‘hands off, this is our thing’ attitude. I think those are really interesting angles to explore.

Section four: Gnnggh… You know, I’m sure I had something coherent to say, but you’ve fogged my head up with that last bit…

This line is so key:

Of course, he’s always frightened. Frightened of rejection.

That’s a huge part of the essence of Remus, I think. He rejects people before they can reject him, because nothing terrifies him more than rejection. I really like the issues you’ve tackled in this bit, and Sirius’ part in it. He’s such a real friend to Remus, which is so nice. And then there’s the steamy R/T bit, which I’m all for. ;)

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Re: Review, part one gilpin25 July 19 2008, 22:12:36 UTC
No apologies for lateness necessary, otherwise I must do one for the delay in thanking you for this.

And a huge thank you is due anyway for such a stupendous review. You know yourself how it's so nice and so helpful when someone gives you a thoughtful, detailed one, but I think you've gone above and beyond the call of duty here!:D

So, section one: I was very conscious of the fact that I was going to try and cover two years of their lives in only eight scenes. So this was probably the most important one in a sense as I wanted to kickstart the romance, let the reader know that Tonks - and Remus - had been thinking about it for a while, but this was the first time direct action, as such, had been taken, lol. And it was Tonks who took it, which was going to be a recurring theme throughout.

Oh and I never think Remus can be that tall as it's mentioned that Sirius is the tall one. I always think of Remus as nice, but unremarkable to look at - not noticeably tall or good-looking. He wows us all on personality, wit and humour!

Section two: I have a lot of time for intelligent!Sirius too. I think he must have a lot of insight into what makes the Remus of old tick, and the genius element would let him suddenly come out with these very perceptive, almost throwaway remarks. I wanted to give a sense of both the long history between them, and that Remus is really struggling to go against the engrained habits and fears of a lifetime here. That he does so is partly due to Tonks having all the answers to the arguments ready, and him simply not being able to say no to her at this stage.

Section three: the whole fic really revolved around this part as I think it's where all fairytale romance stops abruptly, as do the jokes, and Tonks has to face up to what a serious relationship with him would mean, and he has to decide whether to let her in or not. I think letting your boyhood friend see you at your most horrific and then your most vulnerable is one thing, letting a woman you'd like to go to bed with do it is quite another. So it was a huge turning point for them both, and the ending of it and the line, "I'm only human", was the first idea for all of this fic.

As for four: I much prefer writing love scenes from a female POV! Sexist, I know... ;)

Thank you once again and I hope I haven't sent you to sleep with all this in reply. It may be tomorrow for part two!

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Re: Review, part one katyhasclogs July 20 2008, 11:14:35 UTC
Sexist, I know... ;)

Not sexist, just easier to identify with!

And no need to thank me for the long review - there's so much to say about this fic that I literally couldn't have written any less!

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Re: Review, part one gilpin25 July 21 2008, 20:22:49 UTC
Not sexist, just easier to identify with!

LOL. Too true! ;)

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