Fic: Out of Sight

[shimotsuki]

Title: Out of Sight
Author: shimotsuki
Rating & Warnings: PG (mild profanity)
Prompts: chance, and "Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind." - A Midsummer Night's Dream (I, 1, 234)
Word Count: 3658

Summary: As Remus sets out to join Greyback's pack, memories of his friendship with Tonks are his anchor to sanity. But there are certain things that

Comments

[mssarajevo]

This is beautiful! You're style is very descriptive without being overwhelming (or boring). I've not read anything by you before, and was planning on going to bed early tonight, but now I'm feeling compelled to go read the rest of your work! :)

[shimotsuki]

Thank you for the kind words! I'm especially happy if reading this got you interested in the rest of the series. :)

[sspring92]

I so love the picture of Tonks sitting to the side trying to knit while the others play poker, while Remus watches her out of the corner of his eye! I am definitely going to have to go back and read Kalidescope again! Thanks so much for posting!

[shimotsuki]

Hee hee, I totally see Tonks as a sloppy, irritated, determined knitter. Thanks a lot for the comment -- I'm glad you enjoyed this.

[fthpfthpfthp]

Awwwwww. Poor Remus. Poor, poor Remus. He needs hugs from all of us!

The muffler and the comfort he draws from it and the thought that Tonks had been carrying a torch for him for longer than he imagined... Lovely.

Also, your Tonks made me laugh/squeal which always means a fic is good.

I like your werewolves. You've balanced the wolf-pack mentality with some compassionate individuals. Makes the situation more hopeful than I would have imagined it and yet Greyback looms with his horrible acts in the darkness.

Hooray! You did it!

[shimotsuki]

I'm sure a lot of folks around here would be happy to oblige with the hugs. ;)

I really appreciate the feedback on the werewolves; I haven't done much at all with OCs before, so this was a big experiment. (And I'm planning to work with these guys again.) I do like to think that the
(apparent) absence of any werewolves other than Greyback at the final battle meant Remus was finally able to persuade someone...

Thanks a lot for the encouraging comments!

[hrymfaxe]

Wow - this is so great! I think it might actually be the first "Remus' first day with the werewolves" I have ever read - and I love what you did with it. I like how they live in houses (of a sort anyway) and the whole environment with the fog, a sluggish river, a copse of trees.. I feel very grounded in Remus' reality

[shimotsuki]

Thank you so much for the kind words! Your review is very reassuring, because I was nervous about many things with this fic, but you've picked out a lot of what I was hoping to get across about Remus's emotional state and about the people in the pack (whew).

I'm also very happy that the OCs have piqued your interest. I was torn between wanting to flesh them out and not wanting to make this fic read like an information dump. But I have plans for some of them in later installments... I did think it would be interesting to make Remus's mission more about manipulating pre-existing power struggles, instead of having him take on a whole werewolf pack single-handedly.

Oh, and I can't knit at all -- I just have friends who do. ;)

[tegdoh]

Gosh, this was so well done I almost don't know where to start.

You've done a great job of fleshing out the werewolves (especially Malkin), showing in just one or two paragraphs the individual personalities and pack heirarchies. I'm looking forward to learning more about all of them.

It dawning on Remus (finally!) that Tonks may have harbored feelings for him for some time was a nice touch. As was Moody's gruff compassion. And of course Remus' loneliness as he comes to grips with his situation (His people. His world, now.) was heartbreaking, without being over the top. He's still Remus, he still has a job to do, and I like the way he's figuring out what angle to take with the ferals even while dwelling on what he's left behind.

Very nicely done.

[shimotsuki]

Thank you so much for the encouraging comments! I've been really nervous about trying to write these OC werewolves, so I'm glad to hear you thought they came across as distinct individuals. And I have plans for good old Matthias, even during DH (and on into AU-land).

It's also reassuring that you thought Remus's emotions weren't too far over the top here. That's a line I'm always a little worried about crossing...

[tegdoh]

I particularly liked the fact that you made Matthias a Slytherin, who nonetheless was concerned enough about others - even strangers - to warn away any hapless transients who happened across the werewolf camp.

[shimotsuki]

Thanks! I'm trying to make sure he stays pretty different from canon characters ... and the Slytherinness will hopefully be a plot point in a later fic. ;)