A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words
Title: A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words
Author: evrdream33
Rating & Warnings: PG
Prompts: Day of Arrivals, Magical Camera, Gen, Location Prompt #36 (of feet)
Word Count: 2781
Summary: Incriminating photos are abound the day newest Order member Nymphadora Tonks arrives at headquarters
Author’s Notes: After the last fic I wrote for this challenge, it was rather nice to write a fic that was simple, straight forward, light hearted, and hardly gave me any problems or stress, even if it is a little silly, but it's fun and definitely on time. ^_^
A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words
Remus dropped a large wooden box in front of Sirius with a thud.
“What the hell is that?” Sirius asked.
“Your crap,” answered Remus dryly.
“What?” Sirius asked as he began going through the box.
“Some of it anyway. Stuff that looked memorable and was small enough to smuggle out.”
“Smuggle out of where?” Sirius asked without looking up.
“Your flat of course. After the Ministry went through it, I snuck in and took what I could. Where did you think I got it all?”
Sirius dropped the pocket sneakoscope that had been in his hand. “What?! Those Ministry idiots went through my stuff?”
“Sirius, they went through all the homes of every Death Eater. Everyone they thought were Death Eaters,” he finished quickly at the sight of Sirius’ menacing glare.
Grumbling, Sirius returned to rummaging through his possessions.
“You’re welcome,” Remus mumbled under his breath, but couldn’t help smiling. Same old Sirius. Despite it all, it was good to have him back.
Remus had just moved into Grimmauld Place at Sirius’ suggestion and Dumbledore’s encouragement. Remus hadn’t given it a moment’s thought. He was more than glad to leave his shady flat at Knockturn Alley and move in with his old friend. If you forgot the little details of the house once having been owned by Sirius’ pureblood mad family, or it being the new headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix, or the fact that they were in a constant state of mortal danger … it was almost like being back Hogwarts.
“Ha!” exclaimed Sirius.
“What?”
Sirius pulled a large silver biscuit tin out of the wooden box.
“Fourteen year old ginger newts?” asked Remus with raised eyebrows.
Sirius ignored him, opened the tin, and poured its contents out on the kitchen table, scattering its surface with a messy pile of yellowed parchment.
“What’s all this?”
“My old letters and photographs,” Sirius explained.
Remus pulled a letter from the pile. He read it and smiled. It was from Lily. She had thanked Sirius for the toy broom he had given Harry for his first birthday. He passed it to Sirius.
“Blimey … I forgot about this,” he said. “It must have been the last letter she ever sent me.”
An uncomfortable silence fell between them, remembering everything that had followed.
“I think there was a picture she sent with this,” Sirius mumbled going through the pile. “Ah ha!”
He pulled out an old photograph and handed it to Remus. He looked at it fondly and watched as Lily laughed at Harry zooming in and out of the picture, pursued by a pair of legs that must have been James. Remus felt a pang in his chest.
Setting the letter and picture aside, the two friends picked through the pile of memoirs, often finding letters and photographs from Lily, James, or even Remus himself.
“What’s this?” asked Remus holding up a photograph taken of a black topped ground and two pairs of feet. One of the pairs must have belonged to a girl because they were dressed in purple and white striped stockings and black mary janes, while the other pair of feet seemed to belong to a man dressed in grey slacks and brown shoes. Both pairs of feet stood on the ground, shifting every now and then. Once in a while, the man’s right foot would swing and gently kick the girl’s leg only to be retaliated by a not so gentle kick from the girl, leading the man’s right foot to disappear from the photo as his hopped up and down on his left foot, apparently in pain.
Sirius laughed and took the photo from Remus’ hand. “I forgot about this too,” he chucked. He pointed at the man’s foot hopping up and down. “That’s me and this is Nymphadora,” he said pointing at the girl’s feet.
“Nymphadora? Your cousin’s daughter? The new Order member?”
“Yep. This was at her … fourth birthday party I think? She was running around with her dad’s camera all day. Although Andromeda told me that most of the pictures ended up being of the tops of trees or people’s feet. She said Nymphadora insisted on sending this one back to me. I think it was when we were in seventh year or something. I actually I brought James with me that day. That was a riot.”
Remus stared at the picture. “Are you wearing muggle trousers?”
Sirius laughed again. “Yeah! Well, the party was made up mostly of Ted’s family and a few of Nymphadora’s muggle friends, so we had to pretend to be muggles the whole time. No magic or anything! Some of Ted’s family knew about us, but I think Andromeda didn’t want us stirring up too much trouble.”
Remus raised an eyebrow at him.
“What? You think we’d use magic when she told us not to? Come on mate, she’s my favorite cousin. I wouldn’t have done that to her.”
“You and James not stir up trouble,” Remus said matter-of-factly.
Sirius grinned mischievously at him. “Hey, least we didn’t use magic.”
“I knew it.”
“It wasn’t me! It was James! He got so over his head impressing all her little muggle friends and cousins with his stupid little tricks. I swear his head must have blew up twice as big as it already was.”
Remus shook his head. “Those poor children.”
Sirius chuckled as he searched through the pile again. “I think I have some other pictures of Nymphadora somewhere that Andromeda sent to me … ah ha.” He picked out a photo and handed it to Remus. It was a picture of a tiny baby with fuzzy mouse brown hair sleeping soundly in a crib, but the hair would turn bright red and she would start crying until a hand reached into the crib and covered her with a blanket.
“I actually remember this one,” said Remus. “You showed it to us in third year or something when Andromeda sent you a letter about her being born.”
“You remember that?”
“Only because you and James kept making fun of the name she picked out for her.”
“Oh yeah … “ said Sirius remembering. “But really … who names their child Nymphadora? That’s one of those crazy pureblood names. I expected better of Andromeda.” He shook his head. “Poor kid.” Sirius thrust a few more photos at Remus. “I found the rest of them.”
Remus leafed through the photos. One was of a gleeful baby Nymphadora in a high chair with chocolate all over her face banging happily on her chocolate smeared tray with her tiny hands. Another was of her and her father, both with identical short blond hair and robes in matching shades of light blue, waving at the camera in unison. The last was of Nymphadora on a toy broom, similar to the one Harry had, speeding through the living room straight into the back of the sofa where she would topple off the broom and cry until her mother came, scooped her up, and took her out of the picture, only to come speeding through and crashing into the sofa again.
Remus kept watching the last photo in amusement, but about the third or fourth time he was watching little Nymphadora crash into the sofa, he swore he actually heard the crash.
“MUDBLOODS! HALF BREED FILTH! BEGONE FROM THE NOBLE HOUSE OF BLACK, HOUSE OF MY FATHERS!”
Remus looked up from the photo. Maybe he hadn’t imagined it after all.
Sirius rolled his eyes. “Bloody hell, not again!” he said loudly.
As Sirius' mother screamed her usual routine, they could hear two voices trying to yell over her.
“Damnit Tonks! I don’t know how you can stand up to twenty stunners coming at you and still trip over your own feet!”
“It’s easy when their coming at me! Who puts a huge troll umbrella stand in the middle of the hallway?”
“You’re not supposed to let your guard down!”
“I don’t have to have my guard up for an umbrella stand!”
“Yes you do! I taught you better than that!”
Sirius’ mum finally quieted down. They heard footsteps walking down the stairs. The door swung open as Mad-Eye Moody and a girl with short violet hair walk into the kitchen.
“Sirius. Remus,” Moody said nodding to them both. “I brought her,” he said cocking his head toward the girl. “This is Nymphadora Tonks. Newest Order member.”
“Don’t-“
“But don’t call her Nymphadora or she’ll bite your bloody head off.”
“I will not! If I did that, you wouldn’t have any heads left, Mad-Eye.”
Sirius grinned at Remus, apparently approving of his now grown up cousin.
Moody ignored her. “I leave it up to you two to get her acquainted. I’ve got to go meet with Dumbledore about something.” He turned to leave. “Don’t trip over the umbrella stand on your way out Nymphadora!” he called over his shoulder.
“I did it once!” she exclaimed indignantly. “I’m not going to do it again.”
“It’s happened before,” he grumbled loudly.
She pulled out the chair next to Remus and slumped down into it with a sigh. “Honestly. The man drives me mad sometimes.”
“We do call Mad-Eye for a reason,” Sirius pointed out.
“Obviously.” She took a breath. “I’m sorry. We weren’t properly introduced. I’m Nymphadora Tonks, but prefer Tonks if you don’t mind.” She held out a hand to Remus.
“Remus Lupin,” he said taking her hand. "It's nice to meet you."
“And you," she said. She turned to the other man. "And you’ve got to be Sirius.”
He grinned at her. “Long time no see cousin.”
She laughed. “Apparently. I don’t even remember”
“You were just a little tyke.” He pulled out the picture of the two pairs of feet. “See?” he said handing it to her. “That’s us together.”
“Oh Merlin,” she said looking at it. “I remember those stockings. This must have been when I four or five.”
“One of those birthday parties.”
“I don’t remember at all.”
“You were probably too busy taking rubbish pictures.”
She laughed. “Probably.” She eyed the pile on the table. “What’s all this?”
“More old photographs, old letters … just a couple of old men reminiscing,” Sirius said.
Tonks glanced at the photos in front of Remus and let out a gasp. “Where did you get these?” she demanded, snatching them away.
Sirius laughed. “Andromeda sent me them a long time ago. When they were just taken, like the other one,” he said.
“Oh … I could kill her,” she said looking through the photos, her face getting redder and redder.
“I suppose all parents like to show pictures of their children to their friends and family,” said Remus reasonably.
“And you’ve kept them after all this time?” Tonks inquired.
“’Course I kept them. They’re family pictures. They’re sentimental. Actually, they’re very few family pictures I am sentimental about.”
“Well you’re not getting them back,” she told him plainly.
“They’re my photos!” he exclaimed reaching out for them.
She pulled out her wand with one hand and held away the photos in the other. “They’re photos of me, and you’re not getting them back if I don’t want you to have them.”
Sirius stared at her in disbelief, "I don't see you for nearly twenty years and you take my stuff."
"Yep, pretty much."
“I think you liked you better when you were four,” he teased.
She grinned at him. “Times change cousin.”
Sirius began to gather up the pile and put the letters and photos back in the tin. “I’ll get you back,” he said absently as he grabbed a handful of parchment.
“You can try,” she said wistfully. "I'm auror you know."
"Yeah, well, I'm a convicted homicidal maniac."
"Falsely convicted."
"Oh sure, pick at the details why don't you." Sirius looked as though he was going to reach for another bunch of letters, but Remus was surprised when he picked up just one envelope. “Is this…?” he said under his breath.
“What?” Remus asked as he watched his friend open the envelope and look through its contents.
“It is!” he exclaimed in glee.
“What is it?” asked Tonks.
He had that old devious glint in his eyes, Remus noticed. The same one he used to get when James suggested one of his infamous plans to get them into trouble. “You think your baby photos are embarrassing?” he said handing the envelope to her.
She took it and pulled out a handful of photographs. “Oh …” she said as she looked at one. “Oh …” she said again at another. She glanced at Remus from the corner of her eye. “Oh my …” she said at yet another.
Frowning, Remus looked over her shoulder. His jaw dropped. Quickly, he grabbed the photos out of her hand and stared incredulously at them. “I can’t believe you still have these!” he cried. He could feel his face get hot.
They were pictures from his nineteenth birthday party. It had been a fairly large party courtesy of Sirius and James, about half the Order, and a handful of their other friends. Sirius and James had decided to make this birthday unfortunately all too memorable by hiring a professional lap dancer to pop out of his cake. Remus hadn’t expected it because the cake had been a very normal sized cake. Sirius and James had apparently cast an undetectable extension charm on it, allowing the dancer ample room to hide in what should have been a tiny compartment inside the cake and completely shock their unaware friend when she burst out of the it and gave him a very intimate birthday gift. What was worse, his friends had somehow arranged for her to wear nothing but a fur bra, a very short fur skirt, fur boots, and fake ears and a tail. No doubt had she known the reason for the request, she would have never agreed to even do the job, but everyone who was in attendance knew the significance of it and thought it was highly amusing. James had very carefully photographed what looked like every second of the joke from moment the dancer emerged from the cake to the lap dance that followed, carefully catching Remus’ horrified look every step of the way.
“James promised me he would burn these!”
“Well, to honest mate he was going to, but I took the liberty of stealing them from him so he couldn’t find them to do it.”
“James knew you had them,” Remus accused.
“He probably did,” Sirius said grinning widely at him.
“Well I’m just going to have to do it myself then.”
“Oh no! Those I definitely want,” he said pulling out his wand.
Remus pulled out his own wand. “Not if I can help it.”
“Alright, you can have them. Just don’t burn them. They’re record of all the hard work we had to do to get that dancer in that cake. That’s not an easy charm you know! We almost asked Lily to do it for us.”
“She would have never!”
“Well of course. That’s why we tried so hard to do it ourselves. Come on Moony,” he pleaded.
Remus sighed. “Fine, but I’m keeping them.”
“Just don’t burn them.”
“I won’t. I won’t.”
“You’re far too nice Remus,” Tonks remarked.
Sirius grinned at her. “And I know that all too well.”
Remus glared at him.
Sirius turned his grin back to his friend. “I think it’s time to feed Buckbeak. When I get back, we can show Nympha- Tonks around, so I suggest you hide those photos while you can.” Sirus got up from his chair and walked out of the kitchen.
Remus threw the envelope on the table and covered his face with his hands. “I’m so sorry you had to see those,” he muttered.
Tonks rubbed his back. “They weren’t that bad.”
“Yes they were,” he groaned.
Tonks laughed. “If we had some incriminating photos of Sirius, we could get him back, but I'm pretty sure my mum doesn't have any.”
Remus raised his face out of his hands. “Actually …”
“You don’t …”
He looked at her. “I do.”
“How incriminating are they?”
“Let’s say they involve a large amount of firewhisky, a racing broom, and Sirius with very little clothing.”
Tonks clapped her hands. “Perfect.”
“But Sirius gave them to me ages ago to keep them away from James, and I promised him I would.”
“You promised to keep them away from James?”
“Yes.”
“Just James?”
“Just James.”
She looked at him crookedly. “So … where are these pictures?”
Remus sighed. “Come upstairs.”
She grinned at him. “I think I’m going to like you Remus Lupin.”
Author: evrdream33
Rating & Warnings: PG
Prompts: Day of Arrivals, Magical Camera, Gen, Location Prompt #36 (of feet)
Word Count: 2781
Summary: Incriminating photos are abound the day newest Order member Nymphadora Tonks arrives at headquarters
Author’s Notes: After the last fic I wrote for this challenge, it was rather nice to write a fic that was simple, straight forward, light hearted, and hardly gave me any problems or stress, even if it is a little silly, but it's fun and definitely on time. ^_^
A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words
Remus dropped a large wooden box in front of Sirius with a thud.
“What the hell is that?” Sirius asked.
“Your crap,” answered Remus dryly.
“What?” Sirius asked as he began going through the box.
“Some of it anyway. Stuff that looked memorable and was small enough to smuggle out.”
“Smuggle out of where?” Sirius asked without looking up.
“Your flat of course. After the Ministry went through it, I snuck in and took what I could. Where did you think I got it all?”
Sirius dropped the pocket sneakoscope that had been in his hand. “What?! Those Ministry idiots went through my stuff?”
“Sirius, they went through all the homes of every Death Eater. Everyone they thought were Death Eaters,” he finished quickly at the sight of Sirius’ menacing glare.
Grumbling, Sirius returned to rummaging through his possessions.
“You’re welcome,” Remus mumbled under his breath, but couldn’t help smiling. Same old Sirius. Despite it all, it was good to have him back.
Remus had just moved into Grimmauld Place at Sirius’ suggestion and Dumbledore’s encouragement. Remus hadn’t given it a moment’s thought. He was more than glad to leave his shady flat at Knockturn Alley and move in with his old friend. If you forgot the little details of the house once having been owned by Sirius’ pureblood mad family, or it being the new headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix, or the fact that they were in a constant state of mortal danger … it was almost like being back Hogwarts.
“Ha!” exclaimed Sirius.
“What?”
Sirius pulled a large silver biscuit tin out of the wooden box.
“Fourteen year old ginger newts?” asked Remus with raised eyebrows.
Sirius ignored him, opened the tin, and poured its contents out on the kitchen table, scattering its surface with a messy pile of yellowed parchment.
“What’s all this?”
“My old letters and photographs,” Sirius explained.
Remus pulled a letter from the pile. He read it and smiled. It was from Lily. She had thanked Sirius for the toy broom he had given Harry for his first birthday. He passed it to Sirius.
“Blimey … I forgot about this,” he said. “It must have been the last letter she ever sent me.”
An uncomfortable silence fell between them, remembering everything that had followed.
“I think there was a picture she sent with this,” Sirius mumbled going through the pile. “Ah ha!”
He pulled out an old photograph and handed it to Remus. He looked at it fondly and watched as Lily laughed at Harry zooming in and out of the picture, pursued by a pair of legs that must have been James. Remus felt a pang in his chest.
Setting the letter and picture aside, the two friends picked through the pile of memoirs, often finding letters and photographs from Lily, James, or even Remus himself.
“What’s this?” asked Remus holding up a photograph taken of a black topped ground and two pairs of feet. One of the pairs must have belonged to a girl because they were dressed in purple and white striped stockings and black mary janes, while the other pair of feet seemed to belong to a man dressed in grey slacks and brown shoes. Both pairs of feet stood on the ground, shifting every now and then. Once in a while, the man’s right foot would swing and gently kick the girl’s leg only to be retaliated by a not so gentle kick from the girl, leading the man’s right foot to disappear from the photo as his hopped up and down on his left foot, apparently in pain.
Sirius laughed and took the photo from Remus’ hand. “I forgot about this too,” he chucked. He pointed at the man’s foot hopping up and down. “That’s me and this is Nymphadora,” he said pointing at the girl’s feet.
“Nymphadora? Your cousin’s daughter? The new Order member?”
“Yep. This was at her … fourth birthday party I think? She was running around with her dad’s camera all day. Although Andromeda told me that most of the pictures ended up being of the tops of trees or people’s feet. She said Nymphadora insisted on sending this one back to me. I think it was when we were in seventh year or something. I actually I brought James with me that day. That was a riot.”
Remus stared at the picture. “Are you wearing muggle trousers?”
Sirius laughed again. “Yeah! Well, the party was made up mostly of Ted’s family and a few of Nymphadora’s muggle friends, so we had to pretend to be muggles the whole time. No magic or anything! Some of Ted’s family knew about us, but I think Andromeda didn’t want us stirring up too much trouble.”
Remus raised an eyebrow at him.
“What? You think we’d use magic when she told us not to? Come on mate, she’s my favorite cousin. I wouldn’t have done that to her.”
“You and James not stir up trouble,” Remus said matter-of-factly.
Sirius grinned mischievously at him. “Hey, least we didn’t use magic.”
“I knew it.”
“It wasn’t me! It was James! He got so over his head impressing all her little muggle friends and cousins with his stupid little tricks. I swear his head must have blew up twice as big as it already was.”
Remus shook his head. “Those poor children.”
Sirius chuckled as he searched through the pile again. “I think I have some other pictures of Nymphadora somewhere that Andromeda sent to me … ah ha.” He picked out a photo and handed it to Remus. It was a picture of a tiny baby with fuzzy mouse brown hair sleeping soundly in a crib, but the hair would turn bright red and she would start crying until a hand reached into the crib and covered her with a blanket.
“I actually remember this one,” said Remus. “You showed it to us in third year or something when Andromeda sent you a letter about her being born.”
“You remember that?”
“Only because you and James kept making fun of the name she picked out for her.”
“Oh yeah … “ said Sirius remembering. “But really … who names their child Nymphadora? That’s one of those crazy pureblood names. I expected better of Andromeda.” He shook his head. “Poor kid.” Sirius thrust a few more photos at Remus. “I found the rest of them.”
Remus leafed through the photos. One was of a gleeful baby Nymphadora in a high chair with chocolate all over her face banging happily on her chocolate smeared tray with her tiny hands. Another was of her and her father, both with identical short blond hair and robes in matching shades of light blue, waving at the camera in unison. The last was of Nymphadora on a toy broom, similar to the one Harry had, speeding through the living room straight into the back of the sofa where she would topple off the broom and cry until her mother came, scooped her up, and took her out of the picture, only to come speeding through and crashing into the sofa again.
Remus kept watching the last photo in amusement, but about the third or fourth time he was watching little Nymphadora crash into the sofa, he swore he actually heard the crash.
“MUDBLOODS! HALF BREED FILTH! BEGONE FROM THE NOBLE HOUSE OF BLACK, HOUSE OF MY FATHERS!”
Remus looked up from the photo. Maybe he hadn’t imagined it after all.
Sirius rolled his eyes. “Bloody hell, not again!” he said loudly.
As Sirius' mother screamed her usual routine, they could hear two voices trying to yell over her.
“Damnit Tonks! I don’t know how you can stand up to twenty stunners coming at you and still trip over your own feet!”
“It’s easy when their coming at me! Who puts a huge troll umbrella stand in the middle of the hallway?”
“You’re not supposed to let your guard down!”
“I don’t have to have my guard up for an umbrella stand!”
“Yes you do! I taught you better than that!”
Sirius’ mum finally quieted down. They heard footsteps walking down the stairs. The door swung open as Mad-Eye Moody and a girl with short violet hair walk into the kitchen.
“Sirius. Remus,” Moody said nodding to them both. “I brought her,” he said cocking his head toward the girl. “This is Nymphadora Tonks. Newest Order member.”
“Don’t-“
“But don’t call her Nymphadora or she’ll bite your bloody head off.”
“I will not! If I did that, you wouldn’t have any heads left, Mad-Eye.”
Sirius grinned at Remus, apparently approving of his now grown up cousin.
Moody ignored her. “I leave it up to you two to get her acquainted. I’ve got to go meet with Dumbledore about something.” He turned to leave. “Don’t trip over the umbrella stand on your way out Nymphadora!” he called over his shoulder.
“I did it once!” she exclaimed indignantly. “I’m not going to do it again.”
“It’s happened before,” he grumbled loudly.
She pulled out the chair next to Remus and slumped down into it with a sigh. “Honestly. The man drives me mad sometimes.”
“We do call Mad-Eye for a reason,” Sirius pointed out.
“Obviously.” She took a breath. “I’m sorry. We weren’t properly introduced. I’m Nymphadora Tonks, but prefer Tonks if you don’t mind.” She held out a hand to Remus.
“Remus Lupin,” he said taking her hand. "It's nice to meet you."
“And you," she said. She turned to the other man. "And you’ve got to be Sirius.”
He grinned at her. “Long time no see cousin.”
She laughed. “Apparently. I don’t even remember”
“You were just a little tyke.” He pulled out the picture of the two pairs of feet. “See?” he said handing it to her. “That’s us together.”
“Oh Merlin,” she said looking at it. “I remember those stockings. This must have been when I four or five.”
“One of those birthday parties.”
“I don’t remember at all.”
“You were probably too busy taking rubbish pictures.”
She laughed. “Probably.” She eyed the pile on the table. “What’s all this?”
“More old photographs, old letters … just a couple of old men reminiscing,” Sirius said.
Tonks glanced at the photos in front of Remus and let out a gasp. “Where did you get these?” she demanded, snatching them away.
Sirius laughed. “Andromeda sent me them a long time ago. When they were just taken, like the other one,” he said.
“Oh … I could kill her,” she said looking through the photos, her face getting redder and redder.
“I suppose all parents like to show pictures of their children to their friends and family,” said Remus reasonably.
“And you’ve kept them after all this time?” Tonks inquired.
“’Course I kept them. They’re family pictures. They’re sentimental. Actually, they’re very few family pictures I am sentimental about.”
“Well you’re not getting them back,” she told him plainly.
“They’re my photos!” he exclaimed reaching out for them.
She pulled out her wand with one hand and held away the photos in the other. “They’re photos of me, and you’re not getting them back if I don’t want you to have them.”
Sirius stared at her in disbelief, "I don't see you for nearly twenty years and you take my stuff."
"Yep, pretty much."
“I think you liked you better when you were four,” he teased.
She grinned at him. “Times change cousin.”
Sirius began to gather up the pile and put the letters and photos back in the tin. “I’ll get you back,” he said absently as he grabbed a handful of parchment.
“You can try,” she said wistfully. "I'm auror you know."
"Yeah, well, I'm a convicted homicidal maniac."
"Falsely convicted."
"Oh sure, pick at the details why don't you." Sirius looked as though he was going to reach for another bunch of letters, but Remus was surprised when he picked up just one envelope. “Is this…?” he said under his breath.
“What?” Remus asked as he watched his friend open the envelope and look through its contents.
“It is!” he exclaimed in glee.
“What is it?” asked Tonks.
He had that old devious glint in his eyes, Remus noticed. The same one he used to get when James suggested one of his infamous plans to get them into trouble. “You think your baby photos are embarrassing?” he said handing the envelope to her.
She took it and pulled out a handful of photographs. “Oh …” she said as she looked at one. “Oh …” she said again at another. She glanced at Remus from the corner of her eye. “Oh my …” she said at yet another.
Frowning, Remus looked over her shoulder. His jaw dropped. Quickly, he grabbed the photos out of her hand and stared incredulously at them. “I can’t believe you still have these!” he cried. He could feel his face get hot.
They were pictures from his nineteenth birthday party. It had been a fairly large party courtesy of Sirius and James, about half the Order, and a handful of their other friends. Sirius and James had decided to make this birthday unfortunately all too memorable by hiring a professional lap dancer to pop out of his cake. Remus hadn’t expected it because the cake had been a very normal sized cake. Sirius and James had apparently cast an undetectable extension charm on it, allowing the dancer ample room to hide in what should have been a tiny compartment inside the cake and completely shock their unaware friend when she burst out of the it and gave him a very intimate birthday gift. What was worse, his friends had somehow arranged for her to wear nothing but a fur bra, a very short fur skirt, fur boots, and fake ears and a tail. No doubt had she known the reason for the request, she would have never agreed to even do the job, but everyone who was in attendance knew the significance of it and thought it was highly amusing. James had very carefully photographed what looked like every second of the joke from moment the dancer emerged from the cake to the lap dance that followed, carefully catching Remus’ horrified look every step of the way.
“James promised me he would burn these!”
“Well, to honest mate he was going to, but I took the liberty of stealing them from him so he couldn’t find them to do it.”
“James knew you had them,” Remus accused.
“He probably did,” Sirius said grinning widely at him.
“Well I’m just going to have to do it myself then.”
“Oh no! Those I definitely want,” he said pulling out his wand.
Remus pulled out his own wand. “Not if I can help it.”
“Alright, you can have them. Just don’t burn them. They’re record of all the hard work we had to do to get that dancer in that cake. That’s not an easy charm you know! We almost asked Lily to do it for us.”
“She would have never!”
“Well of course. That’s why we tried so hard to do it ourselves. Come on Moony,” he pleaded.
Remus sighed. “Fine, but I’m keeping them.”
“Just don’t burn them.”
“I won’t. I won’t.”
“You’re far too nice Remus,” Tonks remarked.
Sirius grinned at her. “And I know that all too well.”
Remus glared at him.
Sirius turned his grin back to his friend. “I think it’s time to feed Buckbeak. When I get back, we can show Nympha- Tonks around, so I suggest you hide those photos while you can.” Sirus got up from his chair and walked out of the kitchen.
Remus threw the envelope on the table and covered his face with his hands. “I’m so sorry you had to see those,” he muttered.
Tonks rubbed his back. “They weren’t that bad.”
“Yes they were,” he groaned.
Tonks laughed. “If we had some incriminating photos of Sirius, we could get him back, but I'm pretty sure my mum doesn't have any.”
Remus raised his face out of his hands. “Actually …”
“You don’t …”
He looked at her. “I do.”
“How incriminating are they?”
“Let’s say they involve a large amount of firewhisky, a racing broom, and Sirius with very little clothing.”
Tonks clapped her hands. “Perfect.”
“But Sirius gave them to me ages ago to keep them away from James, and I promised him I would.”
“You promised to keep them away from James?”
“Yes.”
“Just James?”
“Just James.”
She looked at him crookedly. “So … where are these pictures?”
Remus sighed. “Come upstairs.”
She grinned at him. “I think I’m going to like you Remus Lupin.”